The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak
by Faery Goddyss
Summary: Journals, Tweek, Kenny, stalkers and toliet stalls. Just catching the attention of the one who needs it most. Slash. COMPLETE.
1. Introduction

**AN:** Damn. I wasn't going to put this up until I finished one of my other stories but...crap. Couldn't help myself, most of you know how it is. Hmm... also, as a side story, I'm thinking of giving Cartman a stalker...

Writing in **_italic bold _**is Tweeks journal entries  
Writing in _italics_ is Kenny talking/answering to himself (usually, you'll be able to tell)

There are journal entries (cliche? Leave me alone :P) and it's the **only** time we go into Tweeks POV, otherwise **everythin**g is in Kenny's POV unless I note. Which shouldn't happen. I love being Kenny's brain...

**Warnings: **Its rated M, so use your brain on what Mature means. Though I ought to point out its slash. That means guy/guy relationships. But! I don't plan to get NC-17 on you all. If I do, you shall be notified in THAT chapter. And even so that chapter will be placed elsewhere (the NC version) since some of ya'll are complete tattle tells.

**Disclaimer: **I still have not bought the rights to South Park from Matt and Trey.

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_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
I. Introduction

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I'm tired now. Really tired but I want to write what I saw before I go to sleep. Like most nights when mom and dad told me to go to bed I wasn't able to. The restlessness set in and deep breathing and counting didn't work like mom said to try. So instead, I went outside for a walk. I didn't ask though. They wouldn't let me go out by myself and I was sorta scared especially with the full moon, but I really wanted to walk. I felt like I had to.**_

_**I snuck out at 1:46 am, to be sure mom and dad would be asleep. I was as careful as I could be but I still fell down the stairs and I had to wait in fear that they'd wake up but no one did so I left the house. I don't remember when it happened, but when I heard a repetitious squeak I realized I was in the woods. There was the usual reaction. Hair pulling, panting, that sort of thing, and I tried again to do the deep breathing but I only got lightheaded and nearly fainted.**_

_**The squeaks continued but I couldn't tell which direction they were coming from so I just had to choose a direction. When I saw the moon through the trees I figured I was going the right way. Instead when I peaked around a tree I saw the park. That's when I realized what the squeaking nosie was.**_

_**Someone was swinging.**_

_**The old metal chains going back and forth supporting the persons weight, was the sound I was frightened of. My breathing returned to normal as I watched him. I watched him for a long time too, I think. He never said anything, he just kept pumping his legs going higher almost as if he wanted to swing right into the moon.**_

**_I didn't realize how quiet it was, besides the squeaking, until I heard his breaths. Then I started to hear my own. They were in sync, our breathing was. I started to notice and picked up on things I didn't see before. He was blonde, just like I am and his hair flowed back and forth, every strand rising and falling in the same exact spots, whipping in the swing created wind. And the thing is Journal, he didn't stop, he just kept going, higher and higher in the air that I began to tremble for his safety. Surely, Journal, he was going _too, _high!_**

_**Then in one breath I watched as he jumped from the swings restraints. My gasp was caught in my throat, it was like slow motion. His jump, his body being thrown in the air with the moonlight glimmering off his hair. It was surreal, he looked ethereal. Free, freer than a living person can really be.**_

_**I watched him start to land, he had been airborne for so long I didn't think he'd ever come down and for a moment I was startled because I thought, just for a moment, that maybe he wasn't of our world. But gravity did pull him down, and he stumbled when he landed. I brought my hands over my mouth to keep from gasping, and to keep my hands from grasping my hair in agitation. He fell completely and landed into the snowy ground, but it was more like a plummet, he landed face down right into the cold white earth. **_

_**I watched in silence, waiting for him to move, but he stayed in that position for so long I thought he was dead! My heart has nearly stopped a lot of times from being scared, but this was the first time I was still. My hands were around the side of the tree trunk I was still peeking around. My mouth was hung open and I must have been radiating pure fear, fear for him. But, thankfully, thank God, I saw him finally shift.**_

_**I watched him sit up, his back to me. He rubbed his blonde hair that was wet and covered in snow as well as massaging his neck. What he did next, I don't understand.**_

_**He started to laugh. Not loud, but it was a clear laugh. So pure, so... so free. Journal I wished you could have seen it. He then turned himself around and fell back into the snow, sprawling out all his limbs.**_

_**I could barely make out his facial features. I wanted to see who it was. I wanted to get a closer look, but...**_

_**There was an inner pull inside me. It was then that I thought, that maybe I was invading something personal. Something he had just for him. It must have been, why else would anyone swing in the dead of the morning and jump so unconcerned? So I didn't walk further. Instead I turned around, it was time to go back home anyway, especially since I'd lost a sense of time from watching him.**_

_**When I was retreating further into the woods, hoping I was going the right direction, my foot landed on a branch. Very typical and I snapped my head back in his direction. His body jerked up into a sitting position as he inspecting his surroundings. But I knew he couldn't see me, I was too far in the darkness. Though there was a point when his eyes, which had been roaming over my surrounding area, stopped. They stopped right on me.**_

_**I widened my eyes, I knew he couldn't see me, it wasn't possible, but his eyes never wavered and the way he was looking at me, he was so curious. He even narrowed his eyes, as if he was trying to get a better look, as if it would help him see better.**_

**_He called out. But I didn't dare answer because I knew that voice. I knew that placid voice. It was one of the same voices that tease me at school._**

_**I watched as he eventually turned his eyes away and settled back down on his snow, in the same indifference he had before I had startled him by stepping on that branch. At some point, we got some wind and as I watched as he settled back down I noticed his swing settle as well.**_

_**I headed back home, leaving Kenny to his moment.**_

_**I wonder, Journal, could I ever be like him? To swing like that and to jump off without thought of consequence? With such a feel of freedom as he did? I doubt it. I wouldn't want to sprain anything. Chances are I would not be able to land the way he did without hurting myself and I still fear pain. **_

_**I didn't mean to write so much, and now that I've told you what happened I'm really tired. More than I was when I started. I don't feel restless anymore. **_

_**...I wonder if Kenny goes to swing every night?**_

_**Your friend, Tweek

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**_**AN: **Please read and review!  
_Faery Goddyss :D_


	2. Prologue

**_The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak_**  
II. Prologue

**Me.thod.i.cal**

_adj._  
1. Arranged or proceeding in regular, systematic order.  
2. Characterized by ordered and systematic habits or behavior.

That's been my life for 18 years. And I've been fine with it. I don't mind change, but I don't think its necessary. Everything is pretty much the same, nothing extraordinary happens in South Park.

That isn't something I ever thought I'd fucking say.

I've been doing everything in moderation. Evening out my days; Sleeping, eating, drinking, smoking and fucking. Perfect.

Well, things are not so perfect anymore. My indifference to my surroundings is waning. All because of that stupid, fucking, twitching, blonde freak.

I lay silently next to girl beside me. Its her bed, her house and she's sleeping soundly, glad someone is. Her breath is coming in slowly. We had our fun tonight and she has satisfied me for the moment. But the moment has past, and I still know what I knew after all these fuck fests. These weren't me, none of them are and they won't ever be me again. The thought somewhat startles me because I am Kenny McCormick. I hate commitment, love no one and I definitely am not supposed to crave someone else's attention, touches, looks, scent...

And of all people it definitely isn't supposed to be Tweek. Its not because Tweek is a guy, I know, everyone knows I'm bi. That was a secret that was released on my birth. I've had my fair share of male company; Craig, Clyde, Butters, Token, who had been a hard snag. The only reason I had pursued him for so long was because Token was black, and _everyone_ knew what black males were known for. It had taken a lot of liquor and a very violent morning the next day, not surprisingly he and I are no longer on good terms.

For awhile I had been fixated on Stan, who could blame me? That toned football players body used to get me hard on the spot. Unfortunately Stan is as a straight as a pole. If he ever did go the way of the gay, Kyle would be his first, which I'm sure of.

I never imagined my eye would land, and linger, on a guy that couldn't be still for a half a second. I faced the ceiling, remembering for the nth time when this...this, thing with Tweek had appeared. It hadn't been sudden, so I don't know why I didn't see it coming. One minute Tweek was an annoying thorn, in my fucking side, the he was tolerable and the next thing I know, all I want to do was drive my fingers through that wild and untamable hair.

Now instead of smirking as Tweek jumps and twitches I smiled affectionately, having to catch myself before anyone notices and says something. Now I've stopped my friends from making comments about the less than calm boy, at least around me. They didn't question my reasoning for wanting to stop the 'Tweek Taunting'. They figured I was bored of it, and they all are really, so they have moved back to Butters.

I find it extremely odd that I find comfort in Tweeks aura when Tweek himself is comforted by nothing at all. Ever. I guess its just his familiarity that comforts me, knowing that he's around and with me. By my side.

I turn my face into the pillow and try hard to suffocate myself, no such luck. I don't want to die. I don't fear death, such a fear would be wasted on me. I just don't want to leave him, leave Tweek.

_Why?_

I don't know. I wonder if I lov-, No. I'm being ridiculous... and over dramatic. Its Tweek. Tweek.

_TWEEK?  
_

Yeah... its only Tweek.

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**AN: **Glad everyone liked the first chapter, so did I! I'm well aware that I have both an introduction and a prologue, but you know what? Writers can do whatever the monkey they want and I would like to exercise that right. Please read and review! Oh and BC, thats the reaction I was hoping for!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	3. The Other Side of a Paper Cup

**AN: **Dont hope for humor with the Cartman stalker thing. I just thought It'd make a nice side story to the seriousness that the rest of the story will be and I really wanted to find a way to add this one character in without the person being a major character.

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**_The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak_**  
III. Looking from the Other Side of a Paper Cup

"Tell me again, why did you invite him to sit with us?" I say to Kyle as I look over at Tweek in disgust. He can't get his own food in his mouth because of his twitching.

Kyle pokes his food with a sigh, looking down at the off green mush, "temporary insanity."

I sigh as well and continue to stare at the blonde with worse hair than myself. As Stan and Cartman approach, both set of eyes flicker to Kyle and I when they see Tweek. I point to Kyle in my defense. Kyle shrugs and Stan silently sits down across from him, next to Tweek. Cartman though shakes his head in anger.

"Oh fuck this; I'm already having a shit of a day. Thanks a lot Jew," Cartman turns on his heel and heads over to another table, setting his two lunch trays down besides Clyde.

I look back over at Tweek, he must know we're talking about him. Our voices aren't lowered but then again maybe he doesn't. He seems rather absorbed in his own mush which has turned an odd color of purple.

"So... Tweek," Stan begins.

"Bah! Oh Jesus!" Tweek flings his food from his fork, which had just been inches from his mouth in the air. His actual tray gets knocked off the side of the table and the airborne food lands gracefully on Stan. He at once lifts his own tray, says nothing and walks over to the table that Cartman is sitting at with some of our more casual friends.

Kyle and I stare at him and he looks back annoyed, "I tried." He says over the commotion of the cafeteria. Kyle nods and looks back over at his tray. I groan inwardly and give his shoulder a nudge with my own. "Go on, I'll finish your good deed of the day." He smiles back at me, mutters a thanks and quickly walks away to the same table I want to be at.

Looking back at Tweek, he's fidgeting and glancing back and forth from his tray to the floor, "what?" I ask in rising exasperation. I watch as his eyes blink in a random sequence, before he answers.

"My food, ergh! It's on the floor, but I can't pick it up! The germs! What if I get sick, and then I die! Jesus what if I die! I couldn't face judgment, its way too much pressure!"

I start to mentally curse Kyle to his Jewish hell, "then don't. The janitors will get it."

His head cocks swiftly to the side as if he's considering the thought, "yeah, yeah okay. Good idea Kenny, you always has good ideas."

I start to relax, that's one extreme crisis averted and before I can raise my own utensil he lets out a gasp of fright. I don't want to ask, I shouldn't ask...

"What now?"

_Dammit, why did you ask?_

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, I have to eat, but now I have no food! If I don't eat, I'll starve and then my parents will be really mad at me. Oh god, what have I done?"

"For fucks sake, you can share some of my food!" I nearly raise my voice, but manage to keep slightly calm. The last thing I need is him freaking out over my outburst. I quickly separate my food into two equal shares and point to Tweek the part that he can eat. He looks at it with fear. _Fear_. He's looking at my fucking food with fear in his eyes. I can see what he's thinking. Share food? Food someone else has already touched, and possibly get infected with other people's germs?

I can't take this.

"You know what? Fucking starve." I step back from the confinements of the lunch table, ignore my friends who give me sorry looks. They're surprised I lasted so long with the token freak. I head into the bathroom, slightly shaking. He gets me worked up sometimes. I've never lacked so much patience then when I'm in Tweeks presence. Upon my entrance I see some underclassmen talking and laughing. I head into a stall and close the door, leaning against it for support. When I find my emergency cigarette I wait for them to leave. After five minutes I can't stand it. I open my stall and bark at them to fucking get lost or they'll be in a hazing incident people will be talking about for weeks.

They widen their eyes at me and leave, not before muttering a "goddamn fucking seniors think they own the place," which I hear. My shaking hand pulls out the accompanying lighter and I light, taking a quick inhale and releasing the smoke. I rest the arm holding the cig on the top of my head, closing my eyes, enjoying the instant relaxation.

As I continue to smoke in the stall I read the scrap booking of vandalization the stalls are filled with. There are the normal writings; swears, and a few crudely drawn pictures of naked stick women with huge breasts. I smile at those, my best work really. Then there are a few names listed under a title headed "revenge list". I roll my eyes and exhale a cloud of smoke as I inspect the names. No one I know well is under the list, but I pull out a black permanent marker from my back pocket and scrawl, with the same hand writing as the original writer, the name Eric Cartman. For no reason more than Cartman's an ass and I could use a laugh at his expense.

As I chuckle to myself I place my marker back in my pocket. As I'm looking down something written in tiny neat writing near the base of the stall in a red marker, catches my eye. It's so small I have to crouch down to see what it says and as I close in to get a closer look my head bangs against the toilet seat. I swear to myself, and rub my head absentmindedly as I read the short message.

'I want to be like him.'

"I want to be like him?" I say out loud, as if to verify the words existence. 'Who's him?' I wonder to myself before I flush my cigarette down the toilet and head back to the cafeteria. Sympathy and pity have never been something I was good at.

When I walk back into the cafeteria, a bit more revived, I see Tweek out of the corner of my eye. He's still staring at my food, still debating on whether he should eat it or not. And of course, all the while, shaking like a leaf. I'm about ready to pick up some food on the floor and cram it into his mouth, but I realize the effort of it all and sit down next to Cartman, stealing a piece of his bread roll, instead.

"Aye! Get your own food ya thief!"

I plop the bordering stale bread in my mouth, chew, and swallow before saying anything. "It was the one piece you fat bastard."

Cartman continues to complain and I turn away from him and put my focus back on Stan who was talking about an upcoming school dance. Obviously he was going with Wendy. Ooh, big fat fucking surprise.

"I'm not sure who I want to take," Kyle muttered when Stan asked him who he was taking.

"Wendy says Bebe still doesn't have -", Kyle cut him off sharply.

"No." Everyone at the table laughs. Bebe rekindled what she had for Kyle when our high school years returned. Which is understandable, he got hotter, yet much harder to obtain. I look at him coyly.

"You know Kyle, when I think about it; you haven't been with a girl since middle school." He's about to cut me off but I'm insistent and continue before he can get a word in. "And going to dances stag and dancing with a few wallflower girls don't count dude."

Stan takes a bite of school hamburger thoughtfully, "yeah… that's true. I haven't seen you with anyone since middle school either, now that I think about it."

There's a unified thought that crosses everyone's mind at the table and suddenly all eyes are on Kyle and silence hangs in our little group. Some of the guys have stopped chewing and others let their hand, which hold food, stop directly in front of their mouth.

Kyle's always been a good buddy; the least I could do is bail him out of his unwanted coming out party.

"Then again," I begin, and the eyes fall on me. "With the choice of girls here who'd _want_ to go with any of them? That's why I stick with older women."

There's nodding and everyone goes back to eating, all except Stan and Cartman who continue to give Kyle looks. Cartman's is more of a smirk but Stan looks curious. The bell sounds and the shuffling to leave begins. As I pick myself up, Kyle brushes by my shoulder before I can get too far.

"Thanks," he mutters to me.

"Sure," I give him a small smile and he gives one back as we watch Tweek fall and trip over a scuff on the floor.

Even though I'm watching Tweek in a tangled mess, his books having been spilled everywhere half my focus is still on the red head beside me. "You got "the bug" then?" I ask him, keeping my voice down.

The bug is a lame way of saying someone's gone queer. The school calls it a bug because after I came out, vocally, a bunch of others followed. It was like a ripple effect, more guys were gay, lots no one thought were. Like a bunch of jocks too, and the jocks being gay put a bunch of the arrows on edge. As if they'd get the bug.

The thing is, only certain guys can be accepted as gays in this school. The jocks, because they can kick people's asses gay or not. Myself, because… I'm me and a few random others like Butters. He's been called gay for so long that when he actually came out, people were more surprised that he admitted it to himself. People like Kyle aren't supposed to be gay, because he has such great potential as a leader and husband/father figure. Basically he'd be a good catch and it'd be a waste if he only liked ass.

Kyle gives me a non committal, "I guess."

Whatever, if he doesn't want to talk about it, I'm not going to pry… now. Stan and Cartman finally join us after having dumped their trays. Their eyes are also on Tweek who is still fumbling. It's getting pathetic and everyone's just watching. No one's even bothering to help the guy up.

"Well, lets get going," I say and the guys nod. We make our way out. Kyle, Cartman and Stan talk among themselves as we walk past Tweek. I glance down at him and at the same time he looks up and catches my eye. I raise a brow in acknowledgement and continue out with the others.

**End** of chapter **1ne

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AN**: Just to note, 'Arrows' are straight guys, anyone ever hear that term before? I've heard it flouncing about with my gay friends and at gay clubs around here. 'The bug', is a phrase that had been used when I was in high school because once this one guy came out (my friend, tee hee), seriously like 50 more did and it was the same situation I used in this chapter. Real life stuff guys. Please read and review!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	4. Labyrinth

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
IV. Labyrinth

_**Dear Journal,**_

I got up at 3 a.m. because I wasn't able to sleep. It was too windy and the sound scared me. What if the wind broke my window and the glass killed me? I couldn't take the pain. When I went to school, everything was the same. People weren't very nice to me, but I think overall today was a better day than yesterday. I think. Kyle let me sit with him today at lunch! But... he didn't stay too long. Eric never joined us, and when I accidentally flew my lunch at Stan he left without a word. Its just, Journal, he scared me. He just said my name in this commanding voice out of the blue. My heart skipped a ton of beats, and it took a lot of counting inside my head to get it back on track. Kenny... Kenny stayed with me the longest. He even offered me some of his lunch. Which, don't worry, I didn't take. He was really kind to me and considerate... well... he ended up telling me to starve to death. Actually he swore, but mom would be really mad if I swore so I can't quote him. I like Kenny Journal, he's calm. Well... when he isn't around me. I want to be that calm someday.

Your friend, Tweek

It's one of those long days of school, where it never ends and every time you look at the clock, thinking at least a half an hour must have gone by, it's only been five. I hate those days. Kyle's sitting beside me, scribbling like a mad man on whatever is being discussed in our class right now. I'll need to get notes from him, I wonder if he'll let me. Sometimes he doesn't, sometimes he does, but seeing how I saved his hide today at lunch I'll probably get them today.

I think I'm being stared at.

I turn my head slowly to look around at the class room, a few people make eye contact with me, but they're not the ones staring I can tell. When my eyes do land on the person who is staring I'm annoyed. Tweek. I turn back to face the front of the class. He came in late; must have been because of his fall in the lunch room. I pick up my pen and tap my blank notebook paper attempting to will myself to get to work. Instead, my thoughts float back to the little message I saw scribbled in the bathroom stalls. I wonder who wrote it…

I'm still being stared at.

This time I don't turn to investigate. Why is he looking at me so hard? Fuck, its pissing me off. Tweek was always the odd one out in elementary and middle school. Come high school I thought he got weirder. He became for more jumper, and more paranoid, if that's even possible. Even so, he normally stays to himself. No so much that he's a loner, but because not many people want to be bothered with him. The old friends he had when he was younger gave up on him, and he hasn't found any replacements. Though, every once in awhile I see him and Butters hanging out. It's amusing if not lame in a way. Two misfits befriending each other, and I would hardly call it friendship, more of an acquaintance. In terms of high school hierarchy Butters is higher up, and Tweek is somewhere at the very bottom, if not the bottom altogether.

When I hear the loud shutting of books and papers being shuffled I realize class is over and that Kyle is giving me an annoyed look.

"What?" I ask him, closing my notebook and tossing it in my worn bag.

"You didn't even attempt to pay attention."

"Kyle what's the point in the both of us paying attention when we know I'm going to come to you for help anyway?"

He gives me a frown before laughing a bit and standing up, "whatever asshole. What happened if I one day decided I wasn't going to help you anymore, then what?"

"Then I'd probably fail and you'd have to live with this horrible guilt of letting me fail when you could have done something to prevent it."

Kyle smirks, as he hoists his bag over his chest, "then annoying part is you're probably right."

We walk together into the hallways with the crowds of other students talking about nothing in particular when Kyle suddenly gets quiet on me.

"Hey… Kenny?" He asks hesitantly.

"What?" I look over at him, having noticed the change in his voice and the sudden change of mood.

"About that dance tomorrow…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you… want to go… with… me?"

I stare at him for awhile, for the longest while before I crack a smile. "Kyle are you asking me out on a date?"

I watch as he turns a bright shade of red. "No! It's not like that! It's just, if I sorta kinda go with you, both of us being single," he rushes. "Then I won't feel as bad turning Bebe down when she asks me. Then I can say, that I would, but that you couldn't get date so I agreed to go with you to keep you company."

I frown, "oh, thanks."

He glances over at me, "oh, sorry. Did you want to ask someone?"

"Well no, I wasn't even going to go, but if I wanted to I could get a date."

"Right, but that's going to be my story."

"Why don't we just not go? We could hang out and do something else. You know I hate school dances."

"But I want to go."

"Why?"

Kyle doesn't answer but he gives me a half pleading, half just-fucking-go-with-me look.

I throw my head back and groan, "fine."

He gives me one of those wide bright smiles that makes me want to jump him every so often. "Thanks, see you after school then?"

"Yeah, yeah."

He takes off for his next class and I stop at my locker to rest my head against the cool metal.

_**Dear Journal,**_

Ever since that night I saw Kenny on the swing I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. And thinking about it causes me to look at him and I don't mean to stare. A few times he's caught me and I don't think he really appreciates it but I can't help it. But because of the staring, I've learned something about him. I never noticed before but he's really only social, only ALIVE, when he's with Kyle, Stan and Cartman. I mean, he talks to most everyone but he's not as into the conversation. I catch that he's normally only half listening and looking off most of the time, that is until one of his friends say something, then it's like he clicks back to life. 

_**It makes me want to keep staring, and doesn't it remind you of two years ago Journal? I was in chemistry and Kenny was my lab partner. He wasn't saying much of anything, just basic information on what chemicals needed to be mixed. I wasn't able to keep especially still that day because the teacher had informed us that we had to be extra careful during that days lab assignment due to the dangerous chemicals we were mixing. I still wish I hadn't heard that, it put too much pressure on me and I got really nervous, more than usual. You remember right Journal? I accidentally mixed the wrong things and they blew up in Kenny's face. He was really calm about it, so calm that I half wondered if he realized it was on his face. I kept apologizing like crazy, and he kept calmly saying it was alright as he wiped it off his face. That made me a little happy and a little depressed because I came to the conclusion that I could never be that reserved. No amount of medications or therapy could put me at such ease. It wasn't until later that day when Stan made a comment about it that he snapped at me. I think I even wrote it somewhere that I wanted to be just like him…**_

_**And I still do.**_

**_Anyway, there's another school dance tonight. I don't want to go, I never go, but mom says I'm not being social enough and she's making me go. I'd better stop writing, dad wants me to try out his new blend of coffee, that and my hand hurts and I don't want to get carpel tunnel._**

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

**End **of chapter **2wo

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AN: **I'm so happy people like this story! Sorry for the long wait, homework does come first everyone, and I know the chapter is rather short, and not the greatest, but better to have something than wait another month right? I have started the next chapter so maybe even later this week I'll have the next chapter up! To address HDM's question, I already answered her personally, but to let everyone else know. In my mind, Kyle is gay, and will always be gay, there is no other way for him to be. If you have any other questions I love to give answers!

_Faery Goddyss :D _


	5. In Ribbons Fair

**AN: **Regardless of the pretty title name, this chapter uses its rated M rating.

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_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
V. In Ribbons Fair 

I don't normally attend school dances. They're not really my thing. I'm here strictly because Kyle dragged me.

_Why did you let him?_

Because, he didn't want to be forced to take a girl and he's definitely not out enough to take a guy or even think of asking a guy. So here we are, two guys at the spiked punch table watching everyone have a good time. Or at least in Stan's case, pretend like you're having a good time.

"Can I leave now?" I ask Kyle once I drain a second cup of jungle juice.

"No."

"Dude, seriously, this is not cool. You're not even dancing or doing anything. Why did you even come?"

"Appearances."

"Right," I sigh in annoyance. "If I have to be here, I might as well pretend like Stan."

He whips his head over to me, "what does that mean?"

"It means I'm going to dance, and with you."

"With me!"

"You are technically my date; you did ask me and everything."

Kyle reddens and mentions how I'm a prick. I laugh and shake my head. "Don't worry, I won't really. Fuck Kyle, you are the worst gay guy around. Well if you don't want to dance I'll find someone else." My eyes wander the crowd and fall on Craig who's talking with a few girls on the other side of the room.

Before I can step away Kyle grabs my wrist. Hard. I look back at him, his eyes are on fire.

"…what?" I almost want to cower under that gaze. He looks like my father when he's really pissed off and about to hit something, or someone.

"You. Are. Not. Fucking. Leaving. My. Side." He says in a tone so angry I already know I don't plan on it anymore.

"Why!"

"If you leave, I'll be alone, if I'm alone people, namely Wendy will come straight over to talk to me about going out with Bebe, and if I have to deal with her it'll be your fault."

Christ, he doesn't like her. I resign.

"Fine, but you owe me. First for bringing me here and second for ensuring any fun I would have doesn't happen."

He nods with a smile and let's go of my wrist. "I'm going to sprint to the bathroom real quick. Bebe isn't here yet so I should be okay. You'd better be right here when I come back." He gives me a glare before walking quickly off.

I take a deep breath when he's gone and after I've glanced around. I look at my wrist where he grabbed me. It was so tight… I'm inspecting my arm, all while keeping my breathing in check.

_It's all right, dad isn't here._

I know. I just have to remind myself that I know. When I glance up after reassuring myself a dozen times that my wrist, and that I am okay I notice Tweek standing far off. Looking straight at me. I turn around to see if there's someone behind me his eyes might be on, but there is no one. I frown.

_What if he saw you rubbing your wrist?_

It shouldn't matter. Such an action should mean nothing. My eyes turn back to him, he's still staring.

_How dare he stare, looking as if he's discovered something when he knows nothing!_

"Earth to Kenny!" Kyle's arms waving in front of my face force me to step back. I smack his hands away in annoyance.

"Whoa, what's gotten into you?"

"Tweeks staring at me _again_, it's driving me nuts."

"Tweek?" Kyle looks around. "Tweek here? At a dance? Twitch doesn't come to dances."

I look back to where he was standing and see that he's gone. What the hell? I was not imaging things.

"Hey guys," Stan says as he approaches us with Wendy at his side.

"Hey," we both respond in bored unison.

"Stan, I'm going to go call Bebe. She should be here by now," she says this as she looks pointedly at Kyle who cringes.

"Alright," he responds and Wendy leaves, pulling out her cell phone from her purse.

"Sorry dude," Stan says to Kyle. "Wendy's got this idea that since you and I are best friends that her best friend ought to date you. I've been trying to keep her away from you all night because I knew she'd say something like that in front of you."

Kyle merely grumbles.

"Stan you mind staying with Kyle for a bit? He's a bit paranoid on being approached." I say when I realize Craig is still standing around talking to the same trashy girls as before.

I take off before either can say anything, but I do hear the ring of Stan's laughter. Kyle must have told him my mission. Before I'm within 20 feet of him his face finds mine and he gives me that sadistic grin that I mostly hate, but come back to anyway. He doesn't even explain anything to the girls as he walks off and meets me halfway.

"Wanna dance?" I ask.

His response is grabbing me by the waist and pulling me into the crowd. The song playing is fast and I like the beat. I've never been that great at anything but I can dance, the only problem is Craig isn't quite so interested in simple things like just dancing. For him it has gotta be dancing and dry sex.

He pulls me tight in the crowd so we're scrunched in the middle. I hate being in the middle as you can't really move, but then again I guess we're not really in the middle to dance. I've barely had time to think before I'm up against him. His hips sway in tune with my own as they crash together and I can feel his member harden against my thigh.

The reason Craig likes the middle so much is because no one notices what we do in the middle. He could fuck me right in the middle of the crowd and not a head would turn in wonder. It's that packed. School dances are a big event here as there isn't much of anything else to do, so pretty much everyone is here.

When I feel Craig's hands start to wander beneath my clothes I jerk away, and the slightest bolt of alarm passes through me. He gives me an odd look before smiling and leaning close to my ear. "I agree, I'm not in the mood for an audience. Should we take this outside?"

There's a twist in my stomach, but I nod in agreement anyway and we push our way through the crowd, already somewhat sweaty. I give a wink at Stan and Kyle who shake their heads at me disdainfully. I laugh at their response and feel more refueled. After dragging me outside, Craig takes me to a corner of the school near the dumps.

"Mmm, romantic location," I say as I look around.

"Only the best for you," he says as he backs me into a wall. Nuzzling my ear before giving it a small lick, he presses against my body.

"You're such a horny bastard," I say to him.

"And you're my little bitch."

I narrow my eyes at the name and open my mouth to protest in anger when he smashes his mouth onto mine. I instinctively pull him closer. Now Craig is free to snake his arm up my shirt and I more than happily allow him. I close my eyes in contentment when he moves his lips against my neck, making my head loll to the side. Being ravished is a little bit like being drunk.

That free hand that was up my shirt makes its way down and the fumbling to get the buttons loose off my pants begins, I almost laugh at his apparent frustration.

"What the fuck is with this button?" I hear him mutter to himself. "Finally," he goes on when he gets it loose. Our lips meet again, his tongue rolling in my mouth at the same time his hand works its way expertly. I groan in his mouth and I can feel the smile on his lips as they keep contact. My ears perk up when I hear a loud gasp coming from the side door we had left from. Craig and I quickly leap apart, more from being startled than anything and we watch as a the door swings shut, a few strands of blonde are all Craig sees but I was able to see more.

"How annoying," Craig says and reproaches me. "Now where were we?" He says as his eyes fill back with lust as he looks down at my pants. I roll my eyes and shove my dick back in my boxers and zip my pants back up.

He gives me a dumbfounded look and I look pointedly at him, "the moods broken."

He scoffs at me and brushes by me as he makes his way to the side door, "you can be such a chick sometimes Kenny. Moods broken, what bullshit is that?" He says to himself as he goes inside the school. I don't bother following him.

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_I just got back from the school dance. It wasn't very fun, as I expected it wouldn't be. I talked with Butters some and Token too, but I didn't dance. I'm not a very good dancer anyway, so even if someone had asked me I wouldn't be able to. Mostly it's because I'm too shaky to really dance, when I try I think it looks more like I'm one of those wind up monkeys that clap the symbols together. Or at least Craig said that's what I look like. Speaking of him, him and Kenny are close… I guess. Um, I don't really want to say, but I can trust you. I saw Kenny at the dance, I stared a bit by accident and he caught me. But then after he went into the dancing crowd with Craig and I wasn't able to see them since they went in the middle. When they finally emerged they were both looking sweaty but still excited and they headed outside. I thought it was so they could get some air, and I guess they did get some._**

_**By the time I got outside they were kissing a lot and then, then… I don't even want to say but it isn't something I would do outside. At least I don't think I would. I suppose if I was with the right person. I gasped when I saw them though, and just as they pulled apart I high tailed it out of there. I hope they didn't see me. I'm not sure since I came straight home after seeing that.**_

_**Your friend,  
Tweek**_

After taking a few deep breaths, calming my hormones down by making sure it was down, I walk back into the gym where the dance is being held. I completely ignore Craig as he completely ignores me, as I pass him to get back to Stan and Kyle.

"Christ, what the hell were you two doing out there?" Stan asks.

I brush a hand through my hair, "do you really want the answer to that question?"

He takes a moment to think, "no, no I don't."

"Good, I don't feel like telling, though…" I glance around real quick to see if he's nearby. "I think Tweek saw us."

"Kenny, again, Twitch doesn't come to dances," Kyle points out.

"I don't, and I did." I tell him.

"Yeah, and I saw him lingering around Butters and Token earlier. Did a double take too, trust us Kyle he's here," Stan adds.

"Well if he's here, and he did see you and Craig, the poor guy is probably scarred for life." Kyle says looking around.

"No kidding, I bet he hasn't even see anyone kiss, the last thing he needs to see, the last thing anyone would want to see for that matter, is you and Craig going at it like dogs in heat," Stan tells me.

"One," I begin. "Only female dogs can go into heat, and two, Stan don't sound so annoyed. Had I known you wanted to watch I would have asked Craig, I'm sure he wouldn't mind watchers, he's a bit of a pervert."

"And so are you, you dick."

"Anyway, I gotta take a piss, maybe relive some tension in the lower region. Craig and I didn't get that far," I say with a grin walking off as they both give me slight disgusted looks.

Pushing the bathroom door open I'm relived to see that for once no one is inside, because I don't _maybe_ have to relive some tension I _have_ to relive some tension. The moment may have been lost but I'm still very horny. I take refuge in my favorite stall and try to think of someone worth jacking off too.

_Craig?_

When hell freezes over.

_Stan?_

Hnnn… not today.

_Kyle?_

He pissed me off too much by dragging me here.

_Cartman?_

A question that requires no answer, what so ever.

_Clyde, Butters, Token, Jimmy, Timmy, Gregory?_

Naw…

_Then who do you want!_

I don't know. Someone different, someone I've never used, I feel adventurous right now.

_But you've jacked off to everyone._

Impossible, there has to be someone left.

_If you want a girl?_

I want to get an orgasm here.

_Damn you're being difficult… well, there is someone you haven't used before._

Who?

_You might not want to know._

Who!

_There's always Tweek._

Tweek. What would make me want to possibly stroke my dick in his honor?

_Think of it this way. The way he jumps around constantly, kind of resembles a vibrator._

Tweek will do.

I lean against the stall in content when I'm done. Instantly my eye finds the little note scribbled I had discovered earlier.

'I want to be like him.'

I stare at the anonymous confession for a long time before I hear the main door open.

"Kenny!"

I open the door, and peek out from where I'm still sitting to see Kyle with daggers in his eyes looking harassed.

"Oh shit, is Bebe here now?"

"Yes," he says through gritted teeth. "And she gave me twenty fucking questions about not going with her. When I told her I was here with you she just looked around and asked where you even were. Which, I couldn't very well say 'hmm, well I think he's in the boys bathroom masturbating!'"

"It probably would have gotten her off your back though," I say, trying to make light of what seems to be a light situation, but Kyle seems to be fuming.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'll be out in a sec." I tell him, my eyes falling back on the little note.

"You had better," he says as he walks out.

I pick myself up and grab a pen that's deep down in the bows of my pocket. Bending over I write simply beneath the original message.

'Like who?'

I study what I wrote before putting the pen back in my pants pockets. Doing so, I realize how stupid it is to write back. These are old stalls, it's an old building. The guy who wrote it probably doesn't even go here anymore, he could even be dead already.

As I study it, my eyes scour over the rest of the stall and I notice something different about the revenge list. A name is crossed off, some Fosse Douglas. I know that guy, I don't know him know him, but I know of him. Just last week he was hit by a car and is currently in the hospital…

I back away from the list and head back out to the dance. If Kyle has to come back and get me a second time he'll probably slice my wrist.

…Fosse Douglas… it's probably only a coincidence.

**End **of chapter **3three

* * *

AN: **Please read and review! I need to change the summary again... ughh...

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	6. One Step Foward & Two Steps Back

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
VI. One Step Foward, Two Steps Back

Heading back in the gym, I see Kyle who's wearing a forced smile as he stands besides Bebe who's wearing a real one. Stan and Wendy seem to be back on the dance floor so I take my time walking up to the half excited couple. Kyle would probably kill me for just thinking that. Who knows how long he's been required to stand and talk with her.

As I approach I hear Bebe talking swiftly about some traveling amusement park coming nearby South Park, she pauses and I watch as she looks at Kyle expectantly. I take my cue.

"Yo," I say halting besides Kyle. She looks up and gives me a distain look.

"Oh, hello, Kenny. You really are here then?"

"Yeah and don't sound so excited," I roll my eyes. I hate this girl almost as much as Kyle.

"Where have you been?" She asks me, not even looking remotely interested in where I've been.

"Bathroom."

"Doing what?"

I give her a hard annoyed look, "take a guess."

"Hmph, knowing you it isn't for a bathrooms intended use."

"How would you know, been spying on me lately Bebe? Sorry, but I don't swing your way. You turned me off girls all on your own, it's a wonder Kyle didn't come out earlier."

I may have just given Kyle away, but I don't even bother to glance at him. My eyes are hard on Bebe; naturally the girl didn't hear anything I said that was important.

"What do you mean, girls like me?"

"Gold digging whores," I say simply as if it's the most natural thing, and really, it is.

"You're one to talk Kenny, you're the biggest one in this fucking school. I hear what you and Craig do behind closed doors."

"More than either of you ever did."

"Excuse me!" She looks at me appalled and I smirk, knowing I'm one up.

"Cant blame Craig for turning out gay, seeing as how you came before he ever did anything. Word of advice Bebe, keep your mouth shut in the halls as word gets around, oh and learn to keep your legs closed too."

I don't even see the slap come before its hit my cheek. Somewhere in another world I hear Kyle gasp, but in this world my eyes are still focused on Bebe's burning eyes. I touch my cheek slightly, feeling the warmth from the force of her hand.

I take a step toward her, "my turn." I say acidly, glaring down at her.

The worlds collide when I see Kyle jump in between us, "leave it Kenny."

"Why should I! That bitch slapped me; I think she needs to be slapped back, harder for emphasis."

"Kenny!" Kyle says my name harshly and I finally look at him, realizing Bebe and I have caught the attention of a few other onlookers, two that include Stan and Wendy who start walking in our direction. I look back at the blonde girl.

"You're lucky Kyle stood in front of me."

She sneers at me, "Kyle wouldn't let me get hit by poor white trash like you."

"Don't get the wrong idea Bebe. I only stopped him because that's they way I've been taught, otherwise who would I be to stop him?" I smirk in triumph at Kyle's reply.

"Kyle!" Wendy interjects as she walks between Kyle and Bebe. "How could you say something like that!"

"Wendy, don't get involved," Stan says to the side, standing beside me.

Wendy gives Stan a look of disbelief before turning to her friend, "let's go Bebe."

"That's the best thing you've suggested all night," she responds with annoyance dripping in her voice.

"Yeah, get the hell out of here you stupid skank," I "mumble" under my breath.

Her head whips in my direction, "what did you say you cocksucker?"

"I said, get the hell out of here skank!" I raise my voice, watching as Wendy starts to pull her away, realizing Stan ad Kyle are doing the same for me. When we're across the gym from each other I have to add in one more thing for finality's sake.

"You know actually I have to thank you Bebe!" I yell over the crowd.

"Oh yeah? Why is that you worthless asshole!" She yells back.

"If it wasn't for you, there wouldn't be any other fags. _Someone_ has to turn them!"

"Fuck you Kenny!" I barely hear her say as Wendy drags her off in one direction and Kyle and Stan drag me off in another.

"Rot in hell virgin!" I yell louder back, praying to god that she heard me.

"Since when is being a virgin a bad thing?" Stan mutters as they release me once I'm on the other side of the gym, as far from the opposite doors as possible.

"Since you're Bebe Stevens," I'm still venting in my head when I notice Kyle and Stan are giving me looks. "What?" I ask innocently.

"What the hell was that exactly? Since when do you explode at Bebe like that?" Kyle asks me, he looks slightly amused.

"So I got a little carried away, I have a lot of suppressed anger," I huff.

"Then should I thank your anger, or can I thank you?"

"Huh?" I ask dumbly not sure what he means by that.

"There is no way she's going to be pursuing me anymore, not as long as I'm friends with you," Kyle says with a large grin.

"Oh. You can thank me. I take money and sexual favors." I watch as Kyle's grin falls to be replaced with a frown. I can see Stan snickering in the corner of my eyes.

"I can not rip your balls off, how's that for payment?"

"Fair enough," I say with a smile.

Deciding there's no reason to stay at the dance anymore, especially with the looks we're all getting we decide to call it a night and head to our respective homes. When we get to the road that forks off where I go one way and Stan and Kyle go the other we linger in the middle.

"Who did you hear that thing about Bebe from anyway?" Stan asks me.

"What thing?" I ask.

"That she puts out before Craig can do anything to her?"

"Oh, that? I made that up," I laugh as they both look at me incredulously before laughing themselves. "But I guess there's some truth in it isn't there? The way she got all defensive like that is highly suspicious."

"Kenny you are an asshole," Kyle says with a slight smile playing in the side of his lips.

"True as that may be, I'm the asshole who saved you, yet again."

"I know, and I seriously appreciate it."

I wave a hand in dismissal, "don't even worry about it."

"Hey, I gotta head home," Stan interrupts looking at his watch.

"Okay," Kyle nods. "You guys want to do something tomorrow?" We all nod our heads in agreement and I look down the train tracks that divide the town. My two friends follow my gaze and I can see the deep lines of worry appearing on their faces.

"I'll be fine you guys, see you tomorrow." I say and walk off before they have the opportunity to say anything.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I hope you don't mind that I've brought you to school. I can't always remember everything that I want to write from the entire day. I was late to class this morning because Stan's dog Sparky clawed my wrist. I had to go to the nurses so she could wrap it. I didn't think much would come of it except now Kenny is giving me funny looks. Well, actually, I think he's staring at my wrist. In fact… everyone us. I wonder why though…**_

_**Your friend, **_

_**Tweek**_

I slump in my chair once I get to class the next day. I'm drained and I automatically tune out the chatter that's around me. Kyle is trying to talk to me, but I'm just too tired. Instead my eyes look around at my surroundings, not really focusing on anything in particular, just simple looking. When they do come across something worth focusing on, I've been staring at it so long I barely register the whispers that are around me.

"Did you know he cut?" Came one voice, a girls maybe, I don't care, it's just a voice.

"Makes sense though yeah? It's not like he has any friends." Was that another girl's voice? It was high, but could have easily been a male with a high voice.

"It's sad really, the way he shakes must make cutting even more dangerous."

The last voice's statement makes me wake up slightly from my fog as I process the sentence.

Did she say shaking?

_Yeah, they're talking about Tweek, haven't you been listening?_

No… I realize that's what my eyes have landed on. They landed on the sight of Tweeks bandaged wrist.

Standing up without even realizing that I am, I make my way over to Tweeks desk and stare down at the jumping twitching figure as he looks back up at me curiously, or maybe it's fearfully, I cant really tell.

"Hey." I say to him and he squeaks out some sort of response. I roll my eyes to the ceiling before returning my eyes to him. "Are you cutting?"

"Wh-what!" He twitches and blinks a few times.

"Cutting," I sit down in the desk in front of him and gesture to his bandaged wrists.

"Oh god! Ergh! Is that one everyone thinks!"

I nod silently in response.

"No! It was Stan's dog, Sparky! Oh Jesus, people think I cut! He cut my wrist when I was walking to school today! I thought I was going to die, I was bleeding so hard, I wanted to run back home, but school was closer."

I nod again and stand back up, leaving to go back to my seat. When I sit back down I hear the bombardment of questions from people wanting to know what I asked Tweek and what his response was. But the only voice I hear is Kyle's and he's asking what's wrong with me.

"I'm just tired," I tell him. Which is true. I am.

I go through the entire day not talking to much of anyone except Kyle, Stan and Cartman. When lunch rears its head I'm still somewhat unresponsive, but my ears perk when Stan asks Cartman where he was last night.

"I mean obviously you couldn't get a date but you usually come to laugh at the dancers if anything," is what Stan is saying when I tune into the conversation.

"Shut it ass, I just didn't feel like leaving my house is all, so just drop it."

I stare at him after he gives his defensive response. Kyle and Stan give him a look too but shrug it off. As lunch ends and I make my way out a separate way so I can take in a quick smoke, Cartman waddles up next to me as I push through the schools back door. I watch him as he watches me light up and breathe in the first puff.

"Alright, what?" I ask him.

"Kenny you know about…" he stops to lean in closer to me and I lean back automatically, but he doesn't seem to notice or care. "… like stalkers right?"

"Cartman, why would I know about stalkers?"

"Well," he goes back in his own bubble, "stalkers come from poor family's right?"

I blow a cloud of smoke in his face.

"Goddamnit Kenny!" He screeches as he coughs. I say nothing, and as he composes himself he goes on, "anyway yesterday when I was coming back from school I noticed that the same car was following really slowly behind me, and anytime I sped up so did the car. At first I didn't think anything of it, maybe some newb was trying to find a fucking street or somethin', but then when mom made me go out to get some groceries I saw the same car again."

"So?" I ask.

"So! So, that douche-bag is following me!"

"Why?"

"Why! I don't fucking know, that's why I came to ask you!"

I shrug, "it's probably nothing. Have you seen the person today when you came to school?"

"No…"

"Then you were probably right in thinking he was looking for a street. You were probably just coincidently in the same places. I wouldn't bother getting wigged about it."

He nods to himself, "yeah… yeah, you're probably right."

"Is that why you didn't go to the dance last night?"

He looks up at me and nods, muttering something to himself. "Right, whatever, I'm out." He starts to walk off but stops at the door and turns back to look at me, "oh and Kenny?"

I raise an eyebrow at him, inhaling a puff, "if you tell anyone about this I'll shoot your ass off so you can't be fucked anymore."

"Got it Cartman," I say as he closes the door behind him.

Leaning against the brick walls I think slowly over what Cartman told me and then I think of how I wrote his name on a list which was supposed to be comical, for me at least. And it is, except I did notice that another name was crossed off on the list today. Terrance someone or another, another guy I sorta kinda know; another guy who's out of school today because he had an unfortunate accident with a car.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I've never been disappointed that people don't talk to me much anymore, I've gotten sorta used to it. But when Kenny asked about my wrist I was really happy. Nervous but happy that he talked to me, I just don't get it a lot anymore, and its nice to know that someone bothers enough to ask me what is wrong rather than make stuff up. Because now people think I'm a cutter! I can hear the whispers and every time I try to tell people what really happened they rush off as if they're scared of me. Kenny is the only one who knows and he hasn't paid me any mind since he's asked.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

**End **of chapter **4our

* * *

AN:** In all honesty, I love Bebe. Please read and review!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	7. Fragile Technicolor

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
VII. Fragile Technicolor

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_I've decided and… Kenny isn't like the others. He didn't used to be much different from his friends, considering I think he was Cartman's best friend at one point. At least… I think he was. I could never really tell. I still can't actually. Then you know, he used to always die a lot, but he'd usually be back in time for dinner. That's something else I still don't understand, anyway what I mean is when we were nine he was really out going, just as livid as his three closest friends. _**

**_But after watching him closely for so long I can see that demure isn't there anymore. For the most part he seems indifferent, uncaring. He doesn't really tease me or anyone else for that matter. Granted… he doesn't stop his friends either, but I think that's due to his lack of interest on… most everything. I know, _know, _he didn't use to be this way. What changed him I wonder? Why is he so impassive so often? The only people he's open with and talkative with as if nothing is wrong is Stan, Kyle and Cartman. But hardly anyone else. Even him and Craig aren't close… they don't really talk when they're together._**

_**Today when I was walking to my locker Cartman tripped me and I fell into a trash bin, which fell over and all the contents fell out. Stan and Kyle laughed and walked off with him. Kenny said and did nothing, he didn't laugh but he didn't help me. He looked at me before he looked down and I followed his eyes to see they were on my wrist. It must have fallen on something sharp because I was bleeding through the bandages. When I raised my head to look back at him he was already walking off. **_

_**It's only a feeling I have but I think something's wrong with him today.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

The rumors on Tweeks "cutting" addiction is spreading through school like wildfire. No one seems surprised, most everyone expected someone like him to cut. Only, he doesn't and I'm the only one who knows as I'm the only one who bothered to ask him. Looking at him from where I am I can see the false news is depressing him. His head's down, as there are so many whispers in the air that mention his name, and while his shaking is consistent it seems to have slowed down. As if depression can calm him down slightly.

There are days like today where I always feel broken, the days when you don't feel like you're strong enough to make it through. From this point of view Tweek looks the same. It probably isn't helping him that Cartman just tripped him into a garbage can and he's still laughing his fat ass off.

"God! Oh God! Did you see his face! That look! God that was so sweet!" Cartman rattles through his laughter.

"Okay fat ass, it stopped being funny ten minutes ago," Stan tells him annoyed.

"Whatever Stan, you're just jealous because you hadn't thought to do it."

"Hmm, yes he's probably jealous of the intellect it took to think of tripping Tweek into a trash can. Get over it Cartman, its juvenile," Kyle adds.

"Yeah, but you were laughing weren't you Jew?"

"Anyway," Stan interjects before Kyle and Cartman can start anything between each other. "He did look near tears this time, maybe we ought to give him a break?" Kyle nods in agreement,

"What? Why? Dude, Tweek is easy prey."

I smirk at him, "a true asshole and bully at heart you are Cartman."

"Hmph, you do it as much as I do poor boy." Cartman stretches and scratches his neck. "I'm going to class, see you losers in there," he says as he walks off.

"Good riddance," Stan mutters to himself and turns to me. "You okay?"

I shrug, "same as always I guess."

"Which means rather shitty," Kyle says with raised brows. His face softens as he looks at me. "Your dad again?"

_Not this again…_

They mean well.

"Yeah, I guess it's why I'm so drained today."

"What'd the ass say this time?" Stan asks angrily.

"Usual stuff you know? He was like throwing shit too, but hey, I'm used to it."

I watch the two of them exchange looks and I frown.

"You two need to stop worrying over this… it, it isn't a big deal. Cartman doesn't worry."

"Yeah because he's fucking prick that needs to die!" Kyle's anger flares for a moment before he calms himself back down.

"Don't give me that pity look Kyle, you know I can't stand it."

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I got my wrist re-bandaged but I couldn't really explain to the nurse how I re-opened the cut so I lied, but she didn't look really convinced, now I have a bad feeling that she may think I cut too. I would have told her what happened but if I tell her what Cartman did she'll tell the principal who will call my parents and his mom and I just don't want to be bothered by it. Mom and Dad would freak out if they knew what I go through sometimes at school, but it really isn't that bad. Most people leave me alone, it's just every so often Cartman gets bored, and it isn't really anyone else, and he wouldn't do anything REALLY bad to me. I don't think.**_

**_I'm already starting to think that maybe I judged Kenny's personality too quick. Maybe he isn't so impassive to everyone because he still gets really annoyed. It can be subtle sometimes but its there and its only there when someone confronts him. He doesn't usually make a spectacle of himself. For some reason today I got this urge to talk to him. I feel like we're connected because he knows about my wrist and no one else does, so that kinda bonds us together right?_**

**_Well, we sit right next to each other last period, but I couldn't think of any reason to talk to him, so I asked him if I could borrow a pen. He gave me a weird look before asking what was wrong with the pen in my hand. My face must have been really read, it was so embarrassing Journal! And I couldn't think of anything to say to that, but then I heard him sigh and watched as he placed a pen on my desk._**

"**_You're so quirky Tweek." That's what he said to me before ignoring me for the rest of the lesson. He left class so fast that I wasn't able to return his pen to him. But that's okay, I really like it. It's just a plain black pen, it's even a little worn and the ink kinda runs sometimes too, but there are little teeth marks where he sometimes chews the end because he's thinking when we're doing tests. The reason I like it the most is because it's Kenny's plain black pen._**

…_**is that weird to write?**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

The only good day about today is that it's Friday.

1The three of us bustle into class, Cartman's already seated and I can tell from the harassed faces on my classmates that he was shoving everyone aside as usual to get his favorite spot next to the window against a wall so he can sleep. Kyle, Stan and I take our seats, still talking as the bell rings. When the teacher manages to get our attention it's a quick roll call before he starts to talk about a school project that's worth half our final grade. The groans are unanimous before there's mention of it being a partnered project. A cheer rings, partners will be assigned, and the groan returns and thus begins the assigning.

As usual the lucky duo are paired together, Stan and Kyle exchange a grin. This means, I'll be with Cartman... great. Though, when Cartman is assigned to work with Token I give the teacher an unreadable look as he continues to list off pairs. He finishes reading the list and is about to go on explaining the project when I raise my hand.

"Yes, Kenny?"

"You never mentioned who I was partnered with?" I look around at the class, it's uneven.

"Oh right, I'm sorry. Your partner is at the nurse's office right now," when he sighs with a certain type of exasperation I know what's next. "Kenny, you'll be with Tweek."

"It's probably for the best," Stan starts as we all being to leave the class; the period finally ending. "You're the most patient with Tweek."

"Its not patience, its tolerance."

"Practically the same thing."

"Its not, being able to stand him a whole extra five minutes more than everyone else shouldn't elect me as being the best person to be with him for weeks while we do this stupid project."

"No point in bitching, your stuck with Twitch," Cartman says.

"Who knows, maybe some of your calmness will rub off on him."

"Kyle, don't try to candy coat my situation. It'll take a crap load of therapy and a fucking pill salad twice a day to get that kid still."

"Look at it this way Kenny, if I was Tweeks partner, I'd kill him."

I give Cartman a look.

"What? The Lord wouldn't appreciate me killing a fellow Christian... even if it is Tweek."

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Guess what? There's a partnered project and I'm going to be Kenny's partner! I'm nervous, relieved and excited all in one! Nervous because I don't want to annoy him, but I probably will, relieved because I could have been partnered with Cartman or someone else who isn't nice to me and excited because… because, well I don't actually know why I'm all that excited I just am. I hope he doesn't ask for his pen back.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

I feel odd about being Tweeks partner, Cartman still wanks on him every so often and I've seen him look to me when this happens; like he expects me to do something about it. I think he thinks us being partners like… links us together or something. We've only gotten together a few times over the past two weeks and we really haven't done much where the projects concerned. I just can't bear to be in his presence that long, he just bugs the shit out of me. Especially lately. Simply because of the fact that we're partners I do notice him a lot more often in class and in the halls.

Unfortunately for me it's in the most irritating of ways. He will not leave me the fuck alone since this whole project. Every day, every fucking day for the last fourteen days he has asked me for something. Paper, pens, paperclips, staples, as if he doesn't already have them. I know he has them, I've seen them. I don't know what's up with him, but I'm about readying to snap at him.

I loathe the class time we have together because I have an internal countdown in my brain that counts down the time before I have to hear his voice, that annoying, shaking, voice that will ask me for something. Last I checked I was the poor kid who barely had the supplies to get by. Never mind that Clyde is behind him, or that Butters is in front or that Wendy is to the other side. No, rather let's bug the living shit out of Kenny.

From my wide view of the lunchroom I see Cartman cornering him. I can't see what he's saying but I doubt it's anything good.

_Don't do it, do not get involved._

I'm not going to.

_Yes you are, I can feel it. Just leave Cartman to do what he does best._

I am. I'm not getting involved.

I watch as Cartman spills Tweeks tray on Tweek.

Goddamn Tweek. I wasn't going to get involved with Cartman teasing him, but if I have to look once more at that pitiful face he gives me, that depressed look I'll scream. I really will. So, just this once, this one time, I'll step in.

_One time, my ass. This is where it will start._

Shut up.

"Hey, I was talking," I hear Stan say as I stand from my chair at the table and walk over to where Cartman is corning Tweek. He doesn't look scared or anything, which is good, but he looks… like he's used to it and just wants to get it over with.

"Cartman," I say and he and Tweek both turn their heads to look up at me. Cartman grins.

"Kenny, good! You can help me out here, Tweek seems to have spilled food all over himself and a little of it got on my new shoes my mom bought me."

"Fuck off Cartman and let him go."

Cartman gives me a surprised look, but I notice that Tweeks looks more surprised.

"How can you still be hung up on Tweek? Isn't it about time you moved back to Butters?" I continue.

Cartman doesn't say anything for a moment before backing away from Tweek, "oh yeah, you're right. Where is Butters anyway? I already know what I want to do first."

I nod my head in Butters direction and Cartman takes off without another look back. When I look back at Tweek I see that he's already looking at me.

"Ergh, thanks Kenny." He jumps few times, in that way he always does. "Thanks a lot."

I shrug, and at the same time we both bend down to pick up his tray, and as my hand brushes against his, he shrieks and shoots back up as if I burned him. I give a strange look but don't bother to try and understand it. Tossing his tray in the garbage I look over him. He's got food all over him.

"I'll help you clean up in the bathroom and then I'll buy you another lunch."

_Why are YOU buying him another lunch? You didn't shove the tray on him._

Tweek asks me the same question and I glare at him in response. He gasps a little, but shuts his mouth. I don't want to have to verbally say that I feel guilty, in the deep bowels of my heart, for never stepping in to stop Cartman when he got really bad. Tweek begins to make his way to the bathrooms and I follow behind catching the guys' eyes. They're giving me confused looks but I just wave them off and enter the bathroom.

Inside are two other guys who are doing their damnedest not to laugh at Tweeks appearance, in all honesty they're not doing a very good job and Tweeks looking near tears again.

"Get lost," I tell them quietly and after glancing at me they leave without another word or chuckle.

Wetting a few wads of paper towels I brush Tweeks arms off with the "food", from lunch as he brushes off the dry stuff. I say nothing to him while I'm doing this and I expect him to do the same but of course he doesn't.

"Th-thanks again Kenny, really, I mean it," he tells me and I shrug in response stopping my motions to look him up and down.

"What?" He asks nervously.

I shake my head, "you're going to looking like an idiot, have you got your PE clothes so you can change into them?" He nods. "Then you should go get them, or I could get them if you don't feel like venturing out yet, and if you trust me with your combination."

"I trust you," he says as I shift through my pockets for a spare piece of paper. "You don't have to write it down, it's easy to remember." He tells me.

"What is it?"

"13-13-13."

I just stare at him.

_Of course his combo is 13-13-13, and of course you're going to go open his locker on this great Friday afternoon._

I take a deep breath and enter my stall, with Tweek watching me as I shut the door without a word. I sit down on the seat let out a long and quiet sigh. No part of me wants to open that locker, but of course I'm going to do it. Well, I could always make Tweek go out and get it himself, but… no. I already said I would. Lolling my head to the side, trying to gather my courage to leave the bathroom and open a locker of all things I see the two little notes, only now there's a third one. With my name on it.

Someone in this school actually wants to be just like me? Why. I scoff as I take one last deep breath and emerge from the stall, with Tweek for once giving me a weird look.

"Just want to see it anyone responded to my note in the corner," I lie to Tweek and leave to get his things.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**A lot happened today, all involving Kenny. When Cartman was teasing me, he saved me for the first time ever, and then he offered to buy me a replacement lunch. He even helped me clean up from where Cartman had pushed food on me.**_

**_But Journal? Here's the most important thing that happened to day. Remember how I had mentioned earlier that I had written somewhere that I wanted to be just like Kenny? I found out it's in the third stall of the boy's bathroom in the east wing. I found it because there was a response, after two years. It said 'Like who?' And I wrote back, and now I know that Kenny is who I wrote to and who wrote to me. Maybe we are connected. That would make me really happy, and I don't know why but being around him makes me really happy lately. Like when he touched my hand today I nearly had a heart attack, my heart skipped a gazillion beats, but it was a happy potential heart attack. Also my hands got really sweaty and I was jumpier than usual…_**

_**It's because I really like Kenny. A lot.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek

* * *

**_**AN: **Sorry the update took so long, midterms and other university junk like that. Don't forget to review!

_Faery Godyss :D_


	8. Lead Hit

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
VIII. Lead Hit

If I thought Tweek was clingy before, then now he's a cold that won't go away. I had stared at his locker for a really long time before I got the nerve to open it and when I did I hesitated at the door being open and looked around. I was expecting something to happen to me and when nothing did I sighed in relief.

He looked disgustingly grateful when I came back with his PE clothes. I just got him clothes, I didn't save the planet.

When he started to change clothes the weirdest thing happened. I wanted to watch and when I did I could feel my heart speed up. It startled me and I pounded that area with the side of my fist to get it to slow down. Didn't work. Tweek had his back to me when he changed and I just stood their leaning against the stall walls staring. I must have looked like a complete fucking moron. I just didn't expect someone like him, like Tweek of all people, to have a smooth toned back. I figured he'd be a skinny twig, sorta like me. But I guess he gets regular meals.

As he was about to change pants, he stopped to look at me. His face seemed flushed for some reason and he asked me, I kid not, if I could look away while he finished changing. I rolled my eyes and scoffed but did as he asked.

"Okay, I'm done," he had said and I turned back around to see him jumping around like always, holding the cafeteria food covered clothes in his hand. We dumped those clothes back in his PE locker and went back to the cafeteria. I bought him the lunch like I said I would and I now I am sitting with the guys, having left Tweek in the lunch line.

"Where's Cartman?" I ask Stan and Kyle.

Kyle nods his head in the direction of Cartman, sitting beside Butters, stealing the food off his plate while the blonde, with little hope, tries to keep him from doing so.

"Looks like he went back to Butters," Stan says and I nod without mentioning that I am the one to lead him there. Better Butters than Tweek.

_Did you hear what you just said?_

…No.

_You said better Butters than Tweek!_

So?

_So? So! Knew this what happen…_

I must have been staring ahead blankly because Kyle gave me a nudge and was looking at me funny when he fell back into focus.

"Where'd you go?" He asks me.

"Just thinking something…"

"Your dad?"

"No, Tweek." I say as I look up and see him standing next to our table holding the new tray of food. "What?" I ask him.

"I think he wants to sit with us," Kyle mutters to me, his head down as he's pretending to finish his lunch. "I mean you did help him and buy him a new lunch."

Ugh. Damn it all to hell.

I exchange looks with both Stan and Kyle, and they both shrug at me. I look back at Tweek who's been standing there for probably five minutes, and who has probably seen our exchanged looks at his expense.

"Sit down Tweek." I tell him with an exasperated sigh and watch as he looks more than happy to oblige. God, what a fruit. What must life be like for him that just being invited to sit down with us at lunch brings such a look of happiness?

_Don't contemplate that._

I was just thinking.

Kyle, Stan and I start talking about what we watched on TV the other day between the major league baseball teams. There had been a revolt at one of the players and we're laughing about some of the crazy antics from the fans when I start to feel Tweeks intense gaze. I stop laughing and slowly turn my head to look at him.

"Do you have an opinion?" I ask him and he jumps, as if he hadn't expected me to ask him. Which, I guess, I wouldn't have, but anything to stop him from staring at me like that. Kyle and Stan stop talking and look at Tweek expectantly. He's starting to shake more and it's becoming apparent as the table starts to vibrate slightly. We're putting him on the spot and we all know it.

After muttering a few incoherent sentences I'm about to turn away in annoyance when he speaks up.

"It was funny when Rodriguez went up to bat, and people started booing and throwing fake money all over the stands."

I study Tweek a moment, having noticed that he said an entire sentence without stuttering. I nod in agreement; realizing that at our table there is complete silence as everyone looks at me for some reason. I crack a smile.

"Yeah, that was hilarious."

Stan and Kyle launch back into what else happened in the game and I watch them, seeing in the corner of my eye as Tweek lets out a sigh of relief. When I look back at him I give him a slight nod, maybe of approval? I don't even know why I did that, but he smiled afterward and went back to eating his lunch in his usual style of caring about nonexistent germs.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Today was a really good day! If not embarrassing at some points. Kenny had gotten my PE clothes for me and I was so happy he did. I kinda thought he just wouldn't come back… or that he would get side tracked with someone else and forget about me…**_

**_I was really nervous changing in front of him so I turned away from him but I still felt like he was staring at me, and I even caught him doing so! I was so embarrassed yet… pleased. The look on his face, made me think he doesn't mind the way I looked. Granted I've never been self conscious about my looks, but now that I know Kenny is paying more attention to them... I shouldn't finish that sentence._**

_**Oh! He let me sit with him and his friends today too! It really was the best day Journal! For awhile they ignored me but then Kenny asked my opinion on something and oh my god, I was beyond nervous. I didn't know what to say, I didn't want Kenny to think any less of me, and he ASKED for MY opinion. That NEVER happens, and best of all I actually knew what they were talking about! And I did give my opinion and I said it WITHOUT stuttering! I'm so proud of myself for that and Kenny even liked my answer because he smiled at me!**_

**_Smiled… at ME, for the first time ever._**

_**And through out the rest of the day he sat with me in all the classes we shared together and gave me pens and pencils even before I asked for them! He was so nice to me, in a way he's never been. In a way most people aren't when it comes to me. And the whole day I had this really weird tingling feeling in my stomach but I liked it, but it made me a little nervous. I'm going to ask mom about it, maybe I should be concerned. I'll go do that now, and tell you what she says Journal.**_

_**BEST DAY EVER!**_

_**You friend, Tweek**_

_**.o. **_

_****__**Dear Journal,**_

_****__**I told mom what was wrong with me and instead of getting concerned like she normally does she just smiled at me. Then she asked me all these other questions like have I been getting sweaty palms, and more nervous than usual. Especially with my stuttering, then she asked if I had been feeling hot lately.**_

_********__Which I answered yes to it all. I got so nervous, she knew exactly what I had been feeling the last few weeks! I thought it must have been something serious, I started hyperventilating but then she reached down in concern and told me to calm down, that it was nothing serious._

_********__But then, oh Jesus, she asked me with a wide grin, who it was that I am falling in love with. Oh Jesus, oh my god. I just stared at her and ran up here, up to my room and buried my head in my pillows for awhile._

_****__**All these weird feelings means I'm falling in love with Kenny Journal! I knew I liked him, and that he made me really happy but falling in love with! He's not the best person for a first love.**_

_********__First off because he's a guy and that would make me gay and I don't know if mom and dad would be happy about that. Second, because he's Kenny. He wouldn't even be able to love me back. Not when he has every option in the entire world. I'd never be able to get someone like him. I just don't know what to do Journal._

_****__**Your friend, Tweek**_

It's the first time in a long while that I've had the house to myself. Naturally I'm taking full advantage of that. I told Bebe she turned me off girls, but really nothing could. If it has a hole, is human and is older than 16 I'll take it. I don't discriminate. The girl that I'm getting ready to pound is your typical dumb ass of a person; she was most likely put on this earth to put out. She can't do much of anything else; at least I haven't seen her do anything else. I've done her before and she is fucking incredible, it's the only reason I allow her to talk every so often, because of the reward I'll get in the end.

I had talked about her with Stan before, and Wendy overheard how I talked of her. Stan's little girlfriend was pissed but then she met the girl and her opinion changed rather quickly.

Looking down at her I wonder how anyone can be so dumb. Too bad I'm horny as fuck. Bending down to nibble on her ear someone knocks on the front door. I groan, and try my best to ignore the knocker, but it seems to be a persistent bastard and I push away from her, much to her dismay as well as mine.

"Ignore it," she tells me but I ignore her and leave my bedroom to walk through the house in order to open the front door. I could kill him, I really could. Standing at my front door, twitching as normal is Tweek.

I sigh, and rub my eyes, "what Tweek, what is it?"

"I j-just… I umm…" He's stuttering again, twisting his hair and breathing as if air will cease to exist in a few seconds.

"Kenny, come back to bed!" I hear her yell at me. I turn to look back at Tweek who's looking past me.

"Wh-who is…. Ergh! Who's that?"

I shrug indifferently. I honestly don't know. I never did bother to catch her name. After a few moments of weird silence between the two of us I see someone behind me move the door wider and she peeks out from behind it to look at Tweek. She's smiling like the idiot she is.

"Tell your friend you're busy Kenny."

God. The way she said that, its like she really wants to let Tweek know we're about to screw. What a twit. I swear, if she wasn't such a good fuck… Rolling my eyes at her I tell her to go back into the room and wait for me. She complies and I look back at Tweek.

"What did you want?" I ask him.

"I- I-… I didn't want anything. Sorry to just, show up," he says and he turns to run off.

I'm running after him with my jacket half on, and my cigarette pack in my mouth before I even realize it.

What are you doing? What in Gods name are you doing?

Hell if I know. It's a natural reaction to run after people who've fun from you… isn't it?

It's unbelievable how fast that kid can run. I'm completely out of breath when he stops at the edge of the woods. While he looks like he could run more, I'm keeling over practically swallowing huge gulps of air.

"What is wrong with you!" I manage to gasp out. "You know I smoke god damn-it! Are you trying to kill me? Ugh, for fucks sake!" I fall against a tree trunk letting gravity pull me down onto the cold snow. While trying to gain my breath back I take out my cigarettes and light one, inhaling and watching as the smoke lifts into the air.

In my anger at having to follow Tweek, I've nearly forgotten he's standing beside me, his face facing the entrance into the woods.

"Then you shouldn't smoke," comes his response.

I look up at him; it's started to snow so he looks a little different. It takes me awhile to realize that's because, like earlier, he isn't twitching about anymore. He's perfectly still as he keeps his gaze on the trees.

"Like I haven't heard that one before," I retort and inhale again for emphasis.

"How come you followed me? You left that girl there by herself."

I snort, "so what?"

"Do you like her?"

"What makes you think that? Because I was ready to screw her brains out? No, I just like what she can do. Nothing more, she's too dumb. I'd preferably like to be around someone who understands what two plus two equals."

"Oh," he finally runs around and I lift an eyebrow at him. "But why did you follow me?"

"Instant reaction I guess, regretting it though as its cold as shit out here."

"Sorry," he mutters.

"I'm not blaming you for the weather. Anyway what's going on in your head, taking off like that?"

He starts twitching again and starts pulling on his fingers, "I-I, I don't know."

I sigh and take a few more intakes of the cigarette in my hand. "You don't know why you came over to my house and you don't know why you took off when you got there." I stand putting out the majority of my stick and leaving it in the snow, wiping my jeans off after dropping it.

"Well, if you remember, I'll be at home" I start to walk off when I remember something. "Oh, and we have to work on that stupid project thing, so I'll be over at your house on Sunday okay?"

He nods but doesn't say anything and I nod back before walking off, leaving him alone in the snow.

When I get back to my house I see Cartman waiting outside the door banging on it like an animal.

"What?" I yell at him as I approach him. I watch as he jumps as mile before turning to face me.

"Holy fuck! Do not sneak up on me like that!" He screams at me.

"Sneak up? Fat ass I called you name from across the street," I say stopping beside him and looking at his read face. "So what do _you_ want?"

He shoves something white and fuzzy in my face and I snatch it away to get a good view. I stare at the object and then back at his face. He looks completely creeped out as his head whips around looking in all directions.

"Cartman, where did you get this?" I ask, holding it away from me.

"That's not even the worst of it. Here!" He shoves his hand in his pocket and extracts a wadded up piece of paper. Taking my time to unfold it I read the small message in scraggly handwriting.

******I'm watching you, love. You shouldn't have pissed me off.**

Is all the note says. "And it came with this?" I ask holding up the little bunny toy.

He nods fast, his breathing rate increasing rapidly.

"Wow Cartman, who the fuck did you piss off?" I ask as I slowly hand the toy back to him. The little white bunny rabbit stuffed animal would have been cute, had it not had a knife ripped in its heart. There was stuffing coming out and red dye carefully placed on and around the knife.

**End** of chapter **7even

* * *

****AN**_****_Normally I go back and try to edit the chapters to my best ability, but I'm in a bit of a hurry so that didn't happen with this chapter. I think you're all going to like the next two chapters. I do!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	9. Lemonade Stand I:This Glass is Half Full

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
IX. Lemonade Stand Part I: This Glass is Half Full

"How the fuck should I know!"

I look back at the bunny and shudder. "Well, who have you pissed off lately?" I say as I open to door to my house. Stepping inside the living room, Cartman follows and we both step over a few pieces of broken furniture.

"No one!" He yells from behind me.

I turn to give him a cold glare.

"I haven't! No one important anyway! Not someone who would stalk me…" he trails off rubbing one hand against his chin.

"Did you think of someone?" I ask him when I see his in-thinking mode.

"Well… I admit. I'd been teasing Tweek right near his breaking point." Cartman looks up with a blaze of anger passing through his eyes. "That little twitchy shit! I'll bet he's the one doing this to me! Just to get me riled up!"

I sigh and roll my eyes, "Tweek is not the one doing this to you fat ass."

"How would you know!"

"Because he would never do something like that, plain and simple."

"Eh, what do you know Kenny? No doubt it's him. I'll have to teach him a lesson for this."

_You're about to do it again._

Do what?

_Defend Tweeks honor._

I'm not defending his anything. He shouldn't be messed with for something he didn't do.

"I know it's been out of order most of your life, but try to use your brain Cartman. It couldn't have been Tweek."

"Aye! And why the hell not?"

"Because, dumbass, Tweek can't drive. He doesn't even have a license; everyone knows he can't get it because of whatever condition he has that causes him to shake so much. It'd be genocide for the human race. And you're the one that said that this person has followed you in a car."

"Oh." I watch as the anger quickly washes from Cartman's face only to be replaced by its earlier fear.

"Why don't you just go home and call the cops?" I tell him.

Cartman snorts automatically, "You're an idiot if you think I'm going out there with that stalker chick out there."

"Chick?" I raise an eyebrow. "What makes you think it's a girl?"

"Kenny obviously it's a girl I pissed off for not agreeing to be with her!"

His answer is too unbelievable, so absurd, so beyond laughable that I don't try to convince him of it otherwise. He may be freaked at the actions of a stalker, but it's obvious he likes the attention. Such a twisted fat kid.

"Does this mean you think you're staying here?" I ask.

"I don't think. I am." Cartman heads for my room and when he opens it I hear him make an odd noise. I approach his side and look over his shoulder to see what he's looking at.

Oh. I forgot about the girl I left behind to go after Tweek.

I shake my head disgustingly at her. Who would actually have stayed? I had been gone for over a half and hour. She's sprawled out over my bed completely naked and very much asleep. I squeeze through the door past Cartman who's just gawking.

I toss a blanket over her and start to shove Cartman out of the room, closing the door behind us when I hear her stir. Making sure that Cartman's continued to the living room I re-enter the bedroom and see her looking at me. Half asleep, half lust filled. I look her up and down, the appetite I had for her earlier has completely vanished and I wince at the idea of having to touch her.

"Get out of my house will you?" I ask and close the door behind me,

When I get to the living room I see Cartman is sitting down in a daze.

"What is the matter with you?" I ask after I sit beside him, taking a breath. "God, you're acting like you've never seen a women's naked body before."

When he doesn't say anything I turn my head slowly to look at his red face.

I immediately burst out laughing, "Oh my fucking god, you haven't!" After I get a hold of myself I wipe away the tears that had formed in my eyes. This is something I will most definitely be telling Stan and Kyle when I see them next. Cartman looks cross at my having laughed at him, but he doesn't say anything of it.

"So who is that anyway?" He asks me when I've finally managed to compose myself completely. Or at least try to, I let a snort of laughter out before I answer.

"Don't know actually. She just puts out for anything and she's a good lay so I keep her around. Though, ugh, I suddenly just want to never look at her again."

"…that so?"

I nod and both our heads turn at the sound of two doors opening simultaneously. One is my bedroom door where she emerges looking upset; the other is the front door where my father walks in, filling the room with the smell of beer and cigarettes. Cartman stands.

"Uh, know what Kenny? I think I will go home," he turns to look at her. "Want me to walk you home?"

She looks surprised at Cartman, probably for a number of reasons, but she nods. Cartman gives me a look and glances at my father, but he says nothing more and leaves.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I think I really am falling for Kenny. Today when I went to his house he was with some other girl. I hadn't ever seen her before, but they, they were… well the point is I had to run away. I don't even know what came over me, I don't know why I ran but I did and I was feeling so bad. I was getting so upset and only when I stopped to breath at the woods edge did I realize Kenny had been behind me the whole time. He followed me Journal, he ran after me and left that girl behind.**_

_**And so I forgave him, internally. But here's the thing… I don't know what I'm forgiving him for. He's coming over today to work on our class project and I'm kinda nervous, but really excited to so see him. He does make me happy Journal.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek.**_

Sunday. That's what today is. I'm supposed to meet Tweek to work on that project. But today I don't feel up for it. I slowly get out of bed and look outside. It's the same view it always is and nothing looks different. It's still pretty early in the morning, but knowing Tweek, I'm guessing he's up. I wonder how much sleep he can manage anyway.

Making my way into the kitchen I pick up the phone and listen. We have a dial tone today. I punch in Tweeks number, having gotten it from Wendy days ago. She has everyone's number that girl does. I listen to the sound of the phone ringing and a familiar voice picks up the phone.

"H-hello?

"Tweek, its Kenny."

"Kenny! How- how, oh Jesus, ergh, how'd you get my number!"

I raise a brow at my phone and put ear back against it, "Wendy gave it to me. Have a problem with that? I figured I'd need it eventually seeing as how we're partners."

He doesn't say anything back, so I assume he nodded. "I'm not coming over today. We can work on the project next weekend."

There's silence on the phone, so I tap it. "Fucking hell, why can't they ever pay the phone bill consistently?" I mutter to myself.

"I'm still here," I hear Tweeks voice speak back up.

"Oh. Then why didn't you say anything? Jeez."

"…why can't you come over? I err… I m-made lemonade."

I'm trying to figure out the importance of that. "Leave it in the fridge till next week then."

"You-rgh you'll drink it?"

"Yeah sure." I hear the sound of a bedroom door opening, but I can't see any of the bedroom doors from the kitchen. "I'm going. See you in class tomorrow Tweek." I hang up before I hear him say anything in response.

Arriving at school the next day the first thing I do is head to the bathroom stall. I intake air when I look at the revenge list. Cartman's name was the 7th one on the list, and all six names above him have been crossed out. All people I know of somewhat, all of which are still in the hospital. Okay, so maybe this isn't such a coincidence after all. Whoever this person is, is very serious about their list. You'd think the dumbass would have realized they were not the one to add Cartman's name on the list though. So why stalk him?

I ponder on it for no more than a few minutes before shrugging and heading to class. It's a slow week and nothing out of the normal happens. As it would seem, after the bunny incident Cartman hasn't heard from or seen his stalker.

I think he's disappointed. He had begun to tell other people about it and he was milking the attention like an attention starved child.

Kyle, Stan and I sit huddled together as we look at Cartman surrounded by a group of wide eyed frosh.

"He's told this damn story like 100 times and it's gotten more dramatic," Kyle says annoyed.

"It's a big deal though." I say in small defense.

"Yeah, when it was happening, didn't you say nothings happened since?" Stan asks me.

I nod, "but the others on the list aren't okay."

"What?" Both Stand and Kyle look at me confused.

Shit. I guess I never did tell them about that list. I quickly fill them in at having seen the list and adding Cartman's name just for some extra amusement. Kyle's grinning, but Stan looks a little bothered.

"What?" I ask him.

"Where's the list? How come I never noticed it?"

"It's in the smoker's bathroom," I respond, realizing it myself. The smoker's bathroom is more or less reserved for smokers and druggies. No one else goes in, not even the janitors really, which explains why it's so trashed, and why you'll only find the creepiest people inside.

Now that I think about it, what was I thinking leaving Tweek in there by himself last week.

"Want to see it?" I ask my two friends and they nod their heads. Together we leave the lunchroom and head to the east wing guy's bathroom. I take them to the stall it's in and point at the list.

"Would you look at that…" Stan says in slight awe as he bends down to inspect all the names. "And you added Cartman's?"

"Yeah."

"You forge well," Kyle says once he gets a change to look at the list.

"Thanks," I say with a lopsided smile. It's nice to know my friends can appreciate my few talents.

"Have you ever thought about who it might be?" Kyle asks me.

"It's crossed my mind once or twice, but not really. I didn't think it was for real."

"I wouldn't either," Stan adds. "I wonder who it is, and what their deal is.… I know some of these guys. They were in some serious accidents. But I guess they weren't accidents."

.o.

The weekend again. Only this time I have a feeling this won't be one of the good ones. For some reason when I walk up the two steps it takes to get to my front door my stomach has knotted. I raise my hand slowly to open the door but stop and lean my head against the door. I don't hear anything, maybe no one's home.

I don't know why, but I'm scared shitless when I open the door and walk into my house. I stop when I see my dad sitting on the couch in the dark. I know no one else is home.

I reach a hand to turn on the light, but no power. I decide to try and ignore him; maybe he's sober for once. I walk past him, intending not to say anything but he grabs my wrist as I past by. I swallow a lump in my throat, as I feel his sweaty hand clamp harder around my wrist. When I finally release a gasp of pain he releases my wrist and I turn to look at him. He's smiling, he hurt me and he's smiling.

I watch him like a hawk as he stands and brushes past me to close the front door which I had left open for light… and other reasons. When he closes it…it's like seeing my light at the end of the tunnel extinguish.

There's complete darkness now and I can't see him anymore because my eyes haven't adjusted to the darkness like I'm sure his has. I can feel my heart rate increase when I feel a quick contact of skin brush my neck.

"Got an update on your grades," I hear him say in the darkness. He's definitely drunk off his ass. His words slur and when he opens his mouth a scent of hard liquor invades my breathing space.

"How'd you get those?" I manage out. "Grades don't come out for weeks."

"But I'm your father, when I demand them, they show me." He sneers. I still can barely see but I can feel that he's to the side of me. "You're not doing good Kenny. I knew you'd amount to nothing. Absolutely nothing." He whispers the last part in my ear.

Like always, the last few hours go by in a slow blur, but I've learned to numb myself from everything he does, but I can't help but hear what he says. For some reason I've never been able to block out his words. Maybe it's because he always speaks so softly and my ears instinctively strain themselves to hear.

The next time I see light I realize I'm in my bedroom. He must have carried me to bed when I fell asleep. Its light outside, so I know I was out for the entire afternoon yesterday and all of the night. When I get out of bed and head into the kitchen I see my mother, and father along with Kevin all sitting around the table eating something similar to an all American breakfast. I plant myself down on my usual chair and my mom sets a plate in front of me.

I eat in silence, ignoring their chatter. They talk as if this is a loving normal family. They talk like they care about one another, but we all know that if any of us were thrown a bone from society none of us would hesitate to step on the other to get it, and no one would share.

Kevin's trying to talk to dad about something, but I can feel his eyes are boring into me as I sit and eat, staring hard at my plate.

"Kevin shud-up," he says to him, and I hear Kevin huff and I notice as he briefly looks at me before stepping away from the table and walking off in annoyance.

"We never got to talkin about those grades of yours Kenny," my dad says to me.

"Kenny are you not doin' well in school again?" My mom finally pipes up.

"I'm passing aren't I?" I mutter, not intending for them to hear but dad does. His hearing is as precise as my own.

"Just passin' aint really good enough now is it? Think we're putting' you in school so you can fuck around?"

I raise my head and see my mom raise her eyebrows, "what do you mean?" She asks.

"I mean it literally and fig...figed-"

I interrupt him, "you mean figuratively?"

His eyes widen at me, "you think you're smarter than me yeah kid?"

"I know I am." I didn't really mean to say that out loud, unfortunately it's too late and he reaches across the table and smacks me in the face.

"Hey! Don't you smack him!" My mom yells at my dad.

My dad merely grunts at her, "How the hell we'd end up raising two lazy ass kids, you know?" He turns to mom as if looking for her approval; instead she frowns and looks away, walking off.

"It's genetics I'm sure from two lazy ass parents." I shoot back once my mom is out of the room. My dad whips his head back at me, his eyes narrowing as he looks me over.

"Don't give me that fucking attitude. You respect your elders you little shit-head." My father smirks and leans back in his chair. "To think you thought you'd be different. You don't like my lifestyle Kenny? Sorry to say then, that it looks like you're headed in the exact same direction. I was just like you at your age. Drinking, smoking, fucking everything that could walk."

"You still do that..." this time he doesn't hear me.

"But the difference between us son, is you thought you could change fate. Thought you could be someone, go somewhere." He laughs at his unfunny joke. "You're a McCormick, and we don't get far. But you're the worst of them, because you think you're the best. Hanging out with the rich Jew, that fat asshole and that all American kid."

He stands from his chair and walks dangerously close to me. "Get it in your head." He tells me as he pokes my forehead hard with one of his fingers. "You're a nobody; you'll always be a nobody because no one wants to hang out with a poor ugly hick." He smiles again as he drops his hand. "The only person who can appreciate what you have to… offer, is me." The smile drops as he walks away.

I never looked at him as he talked. I've heard it all before, I've heard worse. But this time is different because this time when I look up, after deciding he's probably out of the room, Tweek is standing outside our kitchen window which is wide open. He's looking in with wide blue eyes, his hand frozen in mid air like a fist, as if he was planning on knocking on the window.

For some reason, the fact that he saw that, that he actually heard it all… I don't understand why, but a few tears fall from my face. I don't hesitate to brush them aside and stalk outdoors to glare at Tweek.

"Eavesdropping are we?" I demand to him.

He isn't shaking; in fact he seems frozen in his spot looking at me. And fuck, its pity.

"Don't you dare," I tell him quietly avoiding his eyes. "Don't you fucking pity me." I whisper and walk past him after shoving him aside with my shoulder as I walk by. That seems to jolt him awake and I hear the crunch of boots behind me. Knowing he's following.

"Go home!" I bark, as I turn to look at him. He jumps at the sound of my voice, but stops walking. I continue walking and my feet lead me to place I love most, a place I haven't been to in a few weeks. The only place that can cheer me up. I've forgotten all about Tweek and I don't care that he's still following behind me, if he's even there that is. I've shut my ears from sound and I don't look behind me to check. I stop walking when I reach my destination. I stare at the swings for awhile before plopping myself down on one.

I don't swing; instead I let the slight wind gently sway me. I look at the white field, void of people and filled with untouched snow. I don't know if anyone really knows this place is here. I've never seen anyone else and I've been coming here for ten years, when I was wandering after a particularly bad fight with my dad.

When I hear the jostle of chains I know Tweek has approached the other swing.

"Kenny... Kenny, are you okay?"

"I'm fine Tweek, go away."

I can hear him trying to control his random twitches before he says anything else. Not going away as I had asked. And it seems following each other is going to become some sort of annoying habit between us.

"I, um, er, I heard what your dad said." He says to me.

"Yeah? So what, he always says stuff like that."

"He shouldn't though!" Tweeks voice was rising but he calms himself back down. Well... as calm as he can get. "But... I don't think you're worthless. In fact... I- I think you're special…"

I sigh, and turn to face him, "thanks, I feel like a million bucks. Will you go away now?" I ask dryly.

Ignoring what I said again, he sits down on the swing next to me and starts twisting his hair frantically.

"Tweek, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Erm," he looks up. "Sitting next to you?"

"Not that, the hair twisting. That's why your hair is so fucked up. You keep pulling on it like that."

"Yeah... I can't really help it much."

"Guess that's one of the many reasons people call you the twitch." I say as I look over the white field, rubbing my own arms to keep myself warm. I wasn't in the right mind to think of bringing a jacket or a blanket.

"I hate that name..." I hear him mutter to himself.

"If you hate it why do you allow people to call you it?"

I can see from my side vision as he turns to look at me, "I don't allow it, they just do it. It's not like I can stop them. I mean you call me it too..."

"Never," I say to him dully.

"What?"

"I've never called you that. When have I ever called you something else besides Tweek?" Granted, I may have called him Twitch or other names, but never directly to him.

He opens his mouth to respond but quickly closes it as he thinks. I can see his smile, he can't think of any time. I've noticed, and I wonder if he has that he's stop twitching, that he's finally being still.

"So your dad always calls you name and stuff?"

"...and stuff," I scratch the top of my ear before I say another word. "Why should I tell you anything?" All of a sudden I'm defensive; it's probably an automatic mechanism.

"Well I guess you don't have to, I write everything that's bothering me in Journal."

"Journal?"

"Yeah. I just write everything down as fast as I can and just close him, and I feel better."

"I'm not much of a journal writer." I tell him.

"Then you could always tell me. I'm better than no one right?"

I look over at his pleading eyes. Why he wants to get to know me all of a sudden is beyond me, but I suppose it couldn't hurt to tell him. Who's he going to tell? He doesn't have any other friends really. At least not ones who would listen to anything he has to say.

I hop off the swing and place myself on the snow, not even caring that I'm freezing my skin off. I'm at least wearing a long sleeved shirt. I lean back on my elbows and stretch out the rest of my body in front of me. Tweek stays where he is and clutches his legs close to him. Resting his chin on his knee's, somehow managing to balance himself on the swing.

"I don't know..." I begin. "My dad didn't have that great of a life, he turned out to be nothing so now he takes out his anger and frustrations on me."

"And your brother?" He interrupts, and I shake my head.

"He leaves Kevin alone. No, I'm his favorite," my voice drips with disgust.

"Well, that's a… good thing right?"

"Being dads favorite? No, Tweek that's a bad thing. That means he thinks he can do anything and say anything to you that he wants."

"Like call you names?"

I laugh, but there's no happiness in it. "I wish name calling was the worst of it, but yeah, name calling is an example."

"What else does he do?"

I'm already done with this conversation. I already don't want to say any more. No one but me needs to know what my dad does to me physically when no one else is around. Tweek, actually seems to sense I'm done talking about that and to make sure, I change the subject abruptly.

"Why did you come after me anyway?" I ask him looking overhead at the bright blue sky. Tweek mutters something, something that I cant hear. I turn my eyes away from the sky to look at him. "What did you say?"

I watch as he fumbles for a second, his twitching has resumed. "Umm, because I, oh god I cant do this..."

"Take a deep breath," I tell him as I sit myself up to look directly at him. He does as I tell him and tries to start over again. This time he says his words one at a time while continuing to direct his eyes downwards and away from me.

"Because. I. Like. You."

I smirk, "is that all? Yeah Tweek I figured as much, I like you too… I guess, despite your jumpy behavior and-"

"No!" He cuts me off loudly and forcefully and my eyebrows rise in surprise.

"No what?"

"No... I don't like you... I _like _you. I love you," he says quietly.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**What did I do?**_

_**Your friend, Tweek **_

**End **of chapter **9ine

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AN: **Muahahahaha! I rushed through all this information. I just wanted to get it out of the way and now that I have, I have officially begun the Lemonade Stand Vignettes. Though, finals are here and I need to study, study, study, but most likely you'll all get another chapter by next week!

One thing I really like about this chapter is Kenny is slowly no longer getting turned on by just anyone anymore. Now, what are the Lemonade Stand Vignettes? Three chapters total that mention lemonade! I'm not using the word vignette in the right way at all, buts it's a pretty word isn't it? I'm using it in the sense that at the end of Part III a large part of Kenny's life will have closed…. I think.

Oh! Did ANYONE else see the OBVIOUS slash drop Matt and Trey made in the SP episode 'Follow that Egg?' It was the one about Mrs. Garrison wanting to stop gay marriage. It happened between Stan and Kyle. Who else saw it? Give a whoop!

Please read and review this extra long chapter!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	10. Lemonade Stand II: Strawberry Lemonade

**AN: **Bit of rated M going on. Only like 2 sentences, not that any of you reviewers mind but for you readers that lurk it's another brief Craig bit. Poor guy doesn't get far in my story… maybe I should make a story on Craig next…hmm…nah.

* * *

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
X. Lemonade Stand Part II: Strawberry Lemonade 

"No... I don't like you... I _like _you. I love you," he says quietly.

I look at Tweek like he's lost more of his sanity.

"You...what?"

"I love you," he murmurs to himself. He's shaking all over and doing everything he can not to look at me, but finally he can't help it and he glances up at me only to shriek when he sees that I'm staring at him. He starts to jitter quietly before deciding to stand.

"Ergh! I'd better go, I have to go, bye Kenny."

He rushes off before I can say another word, and I watch as his figure races off in the distance, back toward where his house is located.

"Jesus," I say to myself as I fall back onto the white ground. "What a fucking morning."

"He what?" Stan says just as he's about to stuff his face with some chicken wings. It's the next day and Stan, Kyle and I are huddled close together at our usual table at Raisins.

"Yeah, he said he loved me."

"Tweek, Twitch said he loved you. Like... brotherhood love?" Kyle asked as he stared at me dumbfounded.

"I don't think so," I say as I lean back in my chair and look at the florescent lightening. "It sounded more like a real live declaration of love."

"Holy fuck dude. I mean, I know your open to everyone but... but Tweek!"

"Yeah Stan, I know. I'm kinda at a loss too."

"I guess that would explain a lot," Kyle adds thoughtfully as he takes a drink of his water. "He's been rather weird around you." Both Stan and I look at him, "weirder than usual." He adds and we all nod together.

"What did you say to that after he told you?" Stan asks me.

"I didn't get a chance to say anything, he took off. Granted, what the hell should I have said?"

"You could have said you loved him back," Kyle points out like it's obvious.

"Except he doesn't," Stan looks at me. "You don't do you?"

I shake my head, and watch as Kyle turns to Stan after he released a huge sigh of relief. "What would be so bad if he did?"

"Kyle you can't seriously be asking that. The answer is obvious, it's Tweek. Twitch. Freak number 1, he's worse than Butters. Kenny wouldn't subject himself to someone like that, even if he was drunk."

"How could you say something like that?"

"What? You don't like him either."

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings!"

"Where the hell is all this coming from? This must be your gay sensitive side talking since, last I checked, you were jeering at him with the rest of us!"

Kyle's eyes flash, "I won't even address the gay comment, but teasing Tweek was harmless fun, and I wouldn't deny him someone he cares about if he could get his hands on the guy!"

I tune my friends out and rest my head on my arm lazily as I look around the restaurant. I'm about ready to excuse myself for a smoke break when the blonde we've been talking about staggers in, in his nervous and shaky demure along the side of his mother and father. I stare at him for awhile, willing him to meet my eyes and when he does he jumps, and racing back out. I watch as his parents exchange confused looks before going after him.

Interesting.

I heave a sigh and decide I don't need a smoke after all.

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_I'm such an idiot. I wasn't going to, but yesterday I told Kenny how I felt and now I can't even look at him. I didn't even stick around to see what his response would be. When mom and dad and I went out to go eat that same day, we were going to Raisins, I saw that he was there and he looked right at me. I panicked and ran out, mom and dad were a little worried, because I wont tell them why I left the way I did. But then later on when I was about to go downstairs for dinner I overhead mom telling dad that she thought I probably saw the girl I was falling in love with._**

_**Oh Journal, I really can't handle this. They both just laughed and went on about young love.**_

**_At the restaurant I only got a small look at Kenny's face and he seemed completely indifferent. I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have said those things! I still have to get together with him for our school project, but I can hardly face him. What should I do? He's supposed to be coming over in an hour to work on our project... maybe he won't say anything, maybe he won't even come. _**

**_God…I hope he still comes._**

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

I'm flipping through the free television shows with my brother sitting below me while I spread out on the couch when my dad walks in from his bedroom.

"What're you still doing here?"

He said no name, but the question was obviously aimed at me. "What does it look like? I'm watching tv."

"Aren't you supposed to be at the weird kid's house working on a school project?"

My eyes stay on the mindless changing of stations, from clear pictures to static and back again. "Possibly." Actually I am, but I can't seem to tear my eyes from what's on and not on the screen in front of me.

"Then get your ass over there you little dumb fuck."

"In a second," I keep flipping the channels until I feel something make contact with the back of my head. Nothing really hard, but enough to jump me out of my hypnosis. I drop the remote and instinctively put a hand up to the back of my head where the contact was made. I look at my dad like he's lost it.

"What in the hell did you do that for?"

"You're the one who decided to go to fucking high school in the first place rather than get a job to help support this family. If I see you slacking off, I'm pulling you out!"

I stare at my dad. That sounded almost like a form of encouragement.

He glares back at me, and pushes me off the couch onto Kevin, who makes a soft sound of protest. I climb off him and glare back at my dad.

"Get going you worthless piece of shit, I'm done looking at you for the day."

I say nothing to him and watch as he takes the spot I had on the couch, becoming a mindless drone from the television. I glance at the only working clock in our house. I'm late to meet Tweek. I gather what I think I'll need and leave without as much as a goodbye.

It's a really nice day today so I take my time getting to Tweeks, enjoying the fresh air and welcoming the warm sun rays. As much as I'm enjoying the day, I start to get a little depressed. There is no way in hell I want to spend some three hours indoors when there is such a rare good day outside. I give a few knocks to the front door and Mr. Tweak opens it. He gives me a strange look before saying anything.

"Yes?"

"I'm Kenny, I'm here to meet Tweek for our school project?"

"Oh yes, Tweeks out back actually. He thought you would prefer to be outside today rather than inside."

"He did?"

"Yes, so just head around the side of the house, can I get you an iced coffee?"

"Uh, no, I'm fine, thanks." I start to walk around the back and see Tweek bustling around. Straightening chairs, collecting papers; anything to keep him from having to sit down and be still. Goddamn he is such a nervous wreck.

Just as I'm about to make myself known I hear him start to mutter to himself.

"He's late... he's so late. Maybe he won't come. I wouldn't come to meet me. How could I say all that yesterday? That's probably why he's avoiding me, oh Jesus what have I done?"

_What he said last night? Oh, the 'I love you' thing._

I had completely forgotten about that. I start walking forward once his back is turned to my direction.

"Sorry, I'm la-" I'm cut off when he gasps in fright and knocks over everything on the table he just set. The chairs fall, all the papers fall off the table; the lemonade which was in the middle of the table falls, and splashes all over my chest.

I sigh in exasperation.

"Ergh! Sorry Kenny, sorry!" He rushes inside and comes back out with a few towels and begins wiping me off as if I can't do it myself. Tweek is just a little shorter than I am and he's quickly drying off my arms and my exposed legs, since I'm wearing shorts. It's when he gets to my clothed drenched chest that I notice he starts to slow down... considerably. It doesn't feel like he's wiping me off anymore.

No... It feels more like he's caressing my chest. The way he's gently dabbing certain areas, and running the towel up and down, side to side, slowly over my chest, even if it's just cloth to clothe contact it feels... nice. Really nice, and my other senses start to recognize the scent that I've come to match with him unconsciously. Strawberry shampoo. It's so fruity and eccentric, just as he is.

_As who is?_

Tweek.

_Tweek!_

I suddenly jump out of my reverie and push him away. He looks up startled as if he was just pulled out of something equally as foreign and intoxicating as I was.

"Don't fucking touch me again," I say quietly and turn away from him.

He mutters his continuous apologies while I try to catch my breath. What the hell was that? How could I have gathered those feelings and thoughts from...Tweek?

_You're not doing things in moderation. There hasn't nearly been enough fucking._

Right. There hasn't been. When I turn back to face him, he's reset everything on the table. I sit down on one of the chairs and grab my books. I'm determined now to stay focused and finish what we have to do today as quickly as possible. If I'm quick I can catch Craig on his way home from a late soccer practice.

The next few hours with Tweek are silent. We only talk to one another if we're clarifying what the other is doing on a certain part. At the end of three hours, I close my stuff and stand abruptly, so does he.

"Erm..." he starts to ring his hands together. "My parents said you could stay for dinner if you wanted?" He looks up at me with a small smile.

"No thanks." The smile falls. "I'm meeting up with Craig," granted Craig doesn't know that yet. I say nothing more and leave, only bothering to take a quick glance at how he responded to that. I bite my lip as I turn away. Fuck, he looks almost crushed. Well it doesn't matter; I have to get my moderation.

I do meet up with Craig. We both agree that we have some "catching up" to do, so we go to his place which is empty. For awhile there's fight for dominance. Craig is such a nasty little fucker that I really have no hope in winning. When he's finally sitting on top of me with that wild ridiculous grin that I hate so much, I get that nagging feeling that I shouldn't be doing this right now.

He adjusts himself so he can start playing around with my lower region. Stroking, pulling, like he's some great fucking tease. I'm gritting my teeth, trying to keep my moans to myself. When I feel him release it from his mouth, he comes back towards my chest and starts to kiss the area just around my nipple.

He murmurs with a smile, "Mmm, you taste like lemonade."

_Yes, from the lemonade Tweek made… you remember Tweek don't you? He's the blonde guy you just ditched._

He'll get over it," I mutter and Craig stops what he doing to question me quietly, but I barely hear him since he's voice is so husky. I say nothing in response to him and he continues to do what he was doing.

_He might, but will you?_

Will I? That face he had on, the one I saw just as I told him I had plans with Craig and that I wouldn't be staying over for dinner burns in my thoughts. Finally I flip Craig off me and onto the floor.

"Hey! What in the hells the matter with you!" He demands as I step over him and pull my boxers and shorts back on, as well as the slightly damp lemonade flavored shirt.

"Nothing, I have to go."

"What!"

I don't give him time to say anything out as I walk out of his house, when I look back up at the window where his bedroom is, I see him flip me off. Shaking my head in annoyance I head back to Tweeks house, wondering what the fuck has gotten into me.

_Jesus, are you really going back to Tweeks?_

Yes. I can't believe it either. I don't know what's gotten into me. To reject a free and would be great fuck?

_It's almost as if you really _like _him back._

Fuck off, I'm not myself, but I don't have time to contemplate it as I reach the Tweak household. I ring the doorbell and step back waiting for someone to come to the door.

"Kenny, hello! Did you forget something?" Mrs. Tweak answers this time and the smell of food wafts through the front door.

"I didn't, but umm..."

_I can't believe you're doing this._

"Tweek said I was invited for dinner so..." I don't know where to go from there. She gives me a strange look. "Is something wrong?" I ask.

"Well, no, of course you can have dinner with us as originally planned its just Tweek said you had prior engagements."

"Yeah, I worked those 'prior engagements', out."

"Oh," she smiles. "How wonderful. Please come inside." I do. "Tweek isn't here at the moment I set him off to get some milk, but you can wait in his room, would you like some coffee?"

"Er, no thanks but maybe some water?"

"Coffee flavored water?"

"No..."

"Alright then, you just head upstairs and I'll bring you a glass."

I furrow my eyes together and nod before heading upstairs to Tweeks bedroom. What odd parents. Did anyone ever think that the reason Tweek was the way he was, was due to the coffee? Probably not.

Remembering Tweeks room from past, rare, visits I walk in and shake my head at the disgustingly tidy room. Not even Kyle's room is this neat, and his mom more or less cleans it for him. I take a seat on his bed, jumping on it a few times to get a feel of the mattress. It's too hard. I start to look around at Tweeks possessions when I realize he doesn't have much. A bed, dresser, bookcase, desk and chair. That's about it. No posters, awards, nothing. It's totally impersonal except one book on his desk. It's the only thing that looks out of place because it's orange. I guess the bareness is due to his germophobia.

Since it's all the way on the other side of the bedroom I ignore my burning curiosity and stay where I am. Eventually Mrs. Tweak comes back to give me my glass of water but I'm soon left alone in the creepy bare bedroom. With nothing to focus on my eyes start to get a bit heavy and before I know it I've fallen asleep on Tweeks pillow.

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_Kenny came back! He came back to have dinner with me! He's asleep right now, right this second on my bed. When mom told me he was up here I figured she was mistaken and thought he was someone else. But then it doesn't make sense as to why anyone else would be here to see me. Anyway, I came in here and I saw him and… and I'm happy he came. I really did want him to. Should I wake him I wonder? Mom said dinner would be ready soon but he looks peaceful and calm, always calm. I had rather not wake him. I'm sitting here writing while I look at him. I feel a little guilty though, I know he hates it when I stare at him and now that he's asleep I'm taking advantage of it._**

_**Oh, mom called out. Dinner is ready so I guess I have to wake him up now. And I will, I just want to look for five more minutes.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

_Mmm...Strawberries_

I can't say for sure what woke me, maybe it was the smell of strawberries, or it could have been the slight pressure of a poke on my shoulder. My eyes flutter open and they fall on a blurry vibrating person. When I rub my eyes to clear away the sleep my eyes focus on Tweek

Where the hell am I? I sit up and brush my hands through my hair, while releasing a yawn. He's boring holes in my head with his intense gaze.

Oh yeah, I remember. I finally look at Tweek who still has yet to say anything to me, but he does look pretty nervous. "Oh damn," I say. "Did I fall asleep on your bed? Sorry, I didn't mean to."

He jumps at the sound of my voice breaking the still silence.

"Ergh! It's… its okay."

"I didn't even think I'd fall asleep, given your bed is as hard as a fucking rock. Damn, my backs even a bit sore." I tell him, more to myself really.

"Sorry," he mutters.

I sigh, the type of sigh you give when someone's woken you up. "Stop apologizing for every thing."

He nods, "um… umm, I thought…" he beings as he starts to pull and twist on his hair. "I thought you were meeting up with Craig?"

"Yeah, I was." I offer him no further explanation. I don't have a further explanation. I ditched Craig, _Craig, _for what? To come have a polite middle class dinner with the Tweaks, all because of one look Tweek gave me.

There's silence again in the room, except for Tweeks jumps and quiet murmurings, and its not just any sort of silence, its awkward silence.

"Dinner ready or…?" I trail off the question, looking at him expectantly. He snaps out of whatever world he was in and nods.

"Yeah, mom and dad are… uh, waiting for us dow-downstairs."

Dinner is… not what I expected. The Tweaks don't know me personally, but they, like the rest of South Park do know my social status and my father. Surprisingly… unlike the rest of town they don't toss it in my face as if I don't already know… which…is nice. I don't know the Tweaks well either, but I guess Mrs. Tweak is alright, she seems like a good mom, and Mr. Tweak is okay too, if not a little annoyingly persistent about having me drink coffee. Dinner went well and the Tweaks are normal enough… for parents. Granted I now know more about coffee than anyone should.

But despite, they are really good people. I think I'm ranking them up there with Chef and the Marshes as far as adults go.

When dinner is over, me having four helpings and taking some home, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak clear the table leaving Tweek and I alone.

I pick at the few remaining dinner rolls and listen as his parents talk in what they must assume to be quiet voices.

"It's so nice that Tweek has finally brought a friend over from school," comes a quiet Mrs. Tweak.

"Do you really think this counts honey? Kenny's his partner for their project, its possible he just got stuck with Tweek."

"How can you say something like that?" She hisses at him, which slightly causes her voice to rise.

"Do you want to go up to my room while we wait for dessert?" Tweek suddenly speaks up. I wonder if he heard them talking, I can only assume so, but he isn't acting surprised or hurt, or any different for that matter. He's still jumping about as usual.

"Well," I rub the back of my head. I feel like I've been here long enough and yet…"I can't leave without dessert." I tell him.

Tweek smiles wide at me and I follow him back upstairs to his room. On the way up my thoughts turn back to what he told me. I'll have to address it at some point in time, it's only fair to him that I do.

When we get back into Tweeks bedroom, I watch as he sits down on his desk chair. I decide to stay standing, and to not make idle chit chat. I turn to face him once I close his door.

"You really left Craig to come have dinner with my family…" He breaths out calmly before the twitching resumes.

"Yeah whatever," I rush on. "We're talking about what you said at the pond."

"I didn't mean it!" He spits out twisting his hands together.

Everything inside me stops.

For just a moment I can't breath, for just a second my heart stops, my brain stops. For a second there I lost myself.

But to him, I act like I haven't lost a beat. I fold my arms and give him a cold look. "I figured as much, you don't even know anything about me. How could you have loved me? Not to mention the idea that I would ever love you back."

I'm looking at him but his eyes are still on his hands.

"Anyway" I go on. "You shouldn't go around telling people that. I doubt everyone will take it as light hearted as I am." I sigh, "forget dessert, I'm going home, I need to lie down."

He nods and I turn to leave, about ready to open the door when his voice stops me. "Hey Kenny?" He calls out.

"What?" I ask back, not turning around, not feeling the need to face him.

"Since you bought that lunch for me, and protected me from Cartman, since we're partners and you had dinner with me…are we friends now Kenny?"

What a pitiful and pathetic question. I'm about to catch myself before I say no. But I realize… I have no intention on saying no. There is no level within me to refuse him. Even knowing my answer, I can't help but to study him. He's finally looked up at me and he looks so damn hopeful.

Hope for _my _acceptance of friendship? I wait for a remark from my contradicting conscious, but nothing comes.

"Yeah Tweek, we're friends now." I half expect him to cheer, instead he smiles and jolts around a bit. "See you tomorrow then," I say and leave his room.

Just as I nearly reach the door, Mrs. Tweek comes out, a worried look on her face. "Are you going already Kenny? We still have dessert, didn't Tweek tell you that?"

I nod, "I just need to get going home is all Mrs. Tweek, thanks for having me." I take another step before her voice rings out to me again.

"You two didn't have a fall out did you?"

I turn to face her. I can tell she wants so badly for her son to fit in, to be normal. She really is a good mom.

"No, Tweek and I are friends. I just have to get going." I leave, putting a hand to my lips. Those words sounded weird coming from me. I told someone I was friends with Tweek and it came… naturally.

Walking home I mutter the sentence to myself a few times, and then out loud.

"Tweek and I are friends, Tweek and me are friends. We're friends Tweek and I. This is Tweek, he's my friend…"

_If you keep saying it out loud someone's going to think you're insane for talking to yourself. _

I really don't care.

_Admit it; you're disappointed that Tweek took his words back._

Fine, I admit it.

But really, what are the chances of me loving Tweek back anyway? That's what he would have wanted isn't it? It was just a nice feeling, the idea that someone else loved me besides my two best friends.

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_My parents really like Kenny, which I'm glad that they do. But I did the stupidest thing this evening. After dinner, when Kenny and I came back up into my room he was ready to confront me on what I said, telling him that I loved him. And you know how I get Journal. I freak out, I can't deal so I said the first thing that came to mind and I told him I hadn't meant it._**

**_When am I going to get the courage, even the stamina to tell him that I do love him again? It had been a fluke telling him to begin with, I couldn't do it on conscious level. There's no way I could. As soon as I had said it I wanted to bite my lip. He didn't seem to care much though. I thought I had seen this flicker of… something in his eye when I had lied but it was probably only my imagination. When he had been about to leave I started to get worried. I didn't think that anything would connect us after this project ended so I blurted out something equally dumb sounding. I asked him if we were friends now._**

**_In all honesty, I expected him to laugh, but he didn't. He said that we were. I'm friends with Kenny McCormick. I wonder if he'll remember that when we get back to school and he's with his other friends…_**

_**Yet Journal, I don't want to be his friend. I really, really don't.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

**End **of chapter **10en

* * *

**

**AN: **And that's all you get for one months time! See you guys Jan. 16th when I come back from break! Loved the reviews this time around, thanks everyone! Have a Happy Christmas and good New Years! If you don't celebrate Christmas have a good holiday season!

_Love, Faery Goddyss :D_


	11. Lemonade Stand III: Choking on Embers

_**The Boy Who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
XI. Lemonade Stand Part III: Choking on Embers

When I sit up in my bed the next morning, I groan and fall back into my mattress. Fuck, I don't feel good. I nearly doze back asleep when I hear someone open my bedroom door. Forcing myself back up to look at the person who entered my room I feel a shoulder push me down. Prying open my eyes I look up at my mom who looks back down at me with concern.

"Are you feelin' any better Kenny?" She asks.

When I attempt to answer I cough loud and long, so hard that when I'm done I'm exhausted.

"Your cough sounds better," she says to me as she leans over me to touch my cheeks and forehead. "And your fever isn't gettin' any worse. I'm gonna have you take yer medicine okay, please don't fight me on it this time."

Before she can stick some odd colored pills down my throat I block her with a moan.

"Kenny, what'd I just say?" She asks me gently, letting her arm rest on my bed.

"Wait…" I croak out and gather some energy before going on. "Medicine? Doct-" I'm interrupted by a few coughs before I can continue. "I don't remember… what's going on with me?"

She looks a little worried before answering, "yer sick. You don't remember? You woke up last week with a really bad fever, sweatin and everything. I took you to the hospital. You haven't been to school in a week."

"A week?" I spit out in surprise.

My mom nods, "now take your pills please."

I allow her to help my take the three pills with water that's she's brought with her. She runs a hand through my hair, brushing the hair that's in my face aside, something I'm grateful for. It's starting to piss me off, I should cut it…

When she leaves I fall back into a sick sleep and am woken up again by voices outside my window. I turn my head slowly and see the fire red hair of Kyle outside the glass panes. I can sorta hear the conversation he's obviously having with Stan. I try to call them in, but nothing gets out, I'm just too tired. Instead I listen to their conversation.

"We shouldn't be doing this Stan! If Kenny's mom catches us, or worse his dad…"

Stan cuts him off, "well what are we supposed to Kyle? They wont let us see him, what if he's really, really sick?"

"What if he's asleep!"

On cue my body erupts in a coughing fit, as if to alert them I'm awake. At once I see both their heads shoot up and look through the window making eye contact with me.

"Kenny!" They both exclaim and work together to force open my window, not that it's hard. It is a piece of shit after all. It takes them awhile to get through the window though, since it's higher off the ground than most people realize. They make a lot of noise getting in, banging the outside exterior of the house and seconds after they've gotten in they dive under my bed when they hear my mom knock on the door and walk in. She looks around.

"What're you doing in here, what was that banging?" She asks suspiciously.

I give her my most sick and pathetic look and I watch as her face softens. "My poor baby- is yer window open?" Her eyes avert to the window that Stan and Kyle didn't have the time to close.

"Did you open it Kenny? Yer not supposed to be gettin out of bed," she chastises me as she walks over and closes it.

"It was open when I woke up," I say quietly so I don't risk coughing. This fucking cough hurts like hell.

My mom frowns as she walks back over to the door, "it was probably those kids across the way. They were probably the one's bangin." She sighs and looks at me, "I gotta go to the store and get a few things. Yer dads still at work, will be for a long while, but Kevin's here." Which translates to I'm on my own.

I give her a small smile and she gives me one back before kissing me on the head and leaving. After a few moments of silence, and hearing her leave the house entirely, Kyle and Stan spill out from under my bed.

"What the fuck is under your bed!" Stan asks as he emerges. "I'm wet!"

I shrug at him amused and watch as he grumbles to himself, adjusting the bag that's thrown over his chest. Kyle is ignoring him and his eyes are on me.

"Are you feeling any better? What's wrong with you, your parents wouldn't let us see you all week so Stan had the idea of just sneaking in to see you."

I smile at the both of them. "I don't…," I stop to cough a few times, noticing that they're exchanging looks before I talk. "…know, or remember really. I just remember waking up today. I have this cough from hell, my throats sore, and my body feels like a sauna."

My stomach rumbles, "and I'm hungry and thirsty too." I say in the same quiet voice so I don't overuse it.

"I figured that much," Stan says as he rummages through his bag extracting a large burger, and a bottle of water handing them over to me.

"A burger!" Kyle protests as I start an unbelievable slow process of unwrapping the burger after muttering my thanks to Stan.

"What's wrong with that?" Stan asks Kyle.

"Yeah," I say into the burger as I take my first bite. I want to say its delicious… but I cant really taste it.

"He should be having things like soup and water, not greasy junk food."

"That's why I brought water instead of root beer." Stan says confused and Kyle just sighs in exasperation. "Oh and," Stan goes back to his bag and takes out a baggie filled with green apple slices. "Apple slices instead of French fries." He places them next to the water bottle. "My mom cut those," he adds in with a nod.

"The apple slices and water don't count out the triple deluxe burger with extra mayo and everything on it." Kyle tells Stan.

"Kenny won't eat any other burger, will you Kenny?"

I shake my head as I continue to eat hungrily.

"Fine, whatever." Kyle says in slight annoyance.

"Don't mind Kyle Kenny. He's just in a pissy mood because the guy he likes won't give him the time of day," Stan smirks, starting to laugh; laughter that is quickly extinguished when Kyle gives him a very hard icy glare.

Now curious, I want to ask questions on this guy but Kyle is sure to give me the same glare before I can even try. I quickly finish the burger, inhale the apple pieces and down the water. Having finished eating I feel much better and my cough becomes clearer.

"What's been happening at school?" I ask when I'm done. Kyle at once sits on the edge of my bed and Stan pulls a chair up to my side, they quickly get comfortable.

"Enough," Kyle begins, "but only a few know. Cartman's stalker struck again for one."

I try to sit up at the mention of that, but Stan pushes me back down gently shaking his head at me, as Kyle continues.

"He got a dozen red roses the other day. Six of them were dead, one was dying and the other five were still alive."

"And there was a note too," Stan pipes up. "That one said '**You shall be my seventh greatest sin.'**"

"There were five additional names on that revenge list too," Kyle concludes.

I let out a long cough before replying, "cops?"

"Nope," Stan shakes his head. "No ones called them. I think half because no one wants to get added to the list, but the real reason is probably because every name on it is the biggest 12 assholes in school."

"So everyone's thinking it's like fate and that these guys are getting what they reaped to other people." Kyle says.

"I heard people think its some old disgruntled geek who got teased a lot." Stan puts.

"I've heard it's a ghost." Kyle states thoughtfully. Stan and I stare at him. "It's just something else I heard," he tells us when he notices the looks of disbelief from us. "The point is, whoever this dude is, he is _pissed_."

"I'll say," I tell them, clearing my throat. Suddenly my eyes widen.

"What is it?" Stan asks me.

"That fucking project," I gasp out.

Kyle nods, "yeah it was due yesterday, but don't worry about it, you're excused from it and Tweek finished it anyway."

"Oh." I respond.

"Speaking of which, he's the other thing that's been off since you've been sick." Stan mentions as he adjusts himself in the small chair. "Hasn't he Kyle?" Stan looks to Kyle who nods in agreement.

"Every day he's asked us where you were, and since we didn't know at first we told him the truth. That we didn't know and then when we did find out that you were sick we told him. I even think he tried to visit here once," Kyle looks to Stan for assurance.

"Yeah, your mom had mentioned some blonde twitcher had been by asking about you as well. She didn't let him see you either. He's freaking out over you," Stan says.

"How can you tell?" I ask them, taking another sip of my water realizing its empty.

"Because he's not twitching." Kyle answers me. "Which in turn is freaking everyone else out. I've never seen him like this, he just walks around like a zombie unless he sees Stan and I. Then he rushes over, starts tweaking again and asks about you. Everyone is really, I mean, dude, you haven't gotten this sick since you were nine and you died then, but no one asks more than he does. I guess he does love you."

"He didn't mean it," I have to stop for a minute as another coughing fit over comes me, one that gets deep down in my chest. When I'm done I feel shit again. "He took it back," I finish. "Could one of you grab me a cigarette? I should have some in my first dresser drawer."

"We're not giving you a cigarette when you're sick, in fact," Stan stands. "Thanks for reminding me to take them away from you." I groan. When he gets back to his seat, my cigs in his bag he looks at me curiously. "I thought you said he meant it though?"

I shrug and then pause before saying anything more. "Does he eat alone?"

"Who Tweek?" Stan questions and I nod. "Yeah, like always."

I pause again.

_You can't really ask them what I think you want to ask._

I told him we were friends, friends don't let friends eat alone.

_You were just being polite about the friends thing._

No I wasn't, I meant it.

"We can ask him to eat with us if you want," I look up at Kyle as he asks me this. There's something in those green eyes and I nod.

"Why are we being good Samaritans?" Stan asks, looking back and forth at Kyle and I. He knows something passed between us and he doesn't know what, not that I really know either.

"Because we don't want to get on that list. We're not saints that's for sure," Kyle says standing. "Come on Stan, we'd better get going. I think I heard the front door open."

Stan bolts up and starts to open the window "hurry up and get better Kenny okay?" He asks me, and I nod as I watch him jump out the window. Kyle lingers as I knew he would.

I talk before he gets the chance. "Kyle who is the guy?" I ask referring to the guy he's attempting to go after that's not taking the bait.

"Okay, I'll tell you, just promise not to tell Stan. I don't know if he could handle it yet."

"Promise."

Kyle sighs and rubs the back of his neck, looking up to avoid my eyes. "Butters."

"Butters?" I ask questioning, as it can't be the Butters I know.

"Yes Butters," Kyle rolls his eyes and looks down at me. "Also known as Leopold Stotch?"

My jaw drops, Kyle likes Butters! Fuck… if I haven't heard and seen it all yet I have now. He's looking at me apprehensively. I can see it took a lot out of him just to tell me.

I take a moment to absorb this information, "what's with us and blonde misfits?"

He laughs and I join him, which only ends in me coughing and gasping for air, causing Kyle to laugh more. "If it helps any," I start again. "Don't let the shy bullshit stop you; he's crazy in the sack."

"Dude! Kyle, hurry the hell up, she's definitely here!" Stan hisses at him through the window.

Kyle gives me the finger, but he's grinning. "Stan's right, hurry up and get better." He says before he hops through the window, closing it behind him. They both wave once before running off in the direction of the good part of South Park.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Kenny still isn't back in school yet. But when I asked Stan and Kyle about him today they said that they had seen him yesterday. Apparently he's just really sick, like cant get out of bed sick. Kyle was telling me all about it when Stan had to go off and take an early test. And then Kyle said if I wanted to check on him myself that I ought to just go and do it, but to go through his window and not bother asking his mom. He just stared at me for awhile and then… oh Jesus, I- then he asked me if I really didn't love Kenny anymore.**_

_**And then I just froze. How did he know! Journal, I should have thought of that. Kenny tells Kyle and Stan everything. They are his best friends. But it was so embarrassing, I couldn't answer that! I didn't want to lie a second time but I didn't want to admit the truth in the middle of the hallway. Anyone could have been listening.**_

_**After awhile though, Kyle smirked and said "that's what I thought," then he walked off. What did he mean by that! Does he know! I can't can't can't can't can't won't be able to handle this if he knows. But he probably does, Kyle is really smart, he must know.**_

_**I just… I will not think about that. Okay, I'm not anymore.**_

_**I'm thinking about visiting Kenny. Would that be too weird? Probably. But he said we were friends and he didn't look like he lied. I don't know what to do, I want to see how he's doing but I can't just go. Maybe, maybe if I ask Kyle, he'll go with me. Yes! I'll try asking Kyle or Stan… or, maybe I should just ask Kyle. I don't think Stan likes me that much, but Kyle seems to be okay with me now… for some reason.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

It's been two more days and I feel considerably better, yet not better enough to go to school. Okay, hell, I'm milking this a bit. I could have gone to school today but a few extra days off couldn't hurt. Stan came by earlier to bring me more food. It was soup, when I gave him a look, he said Kyle made him.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Okay. Kyle wont go with me. He said I should go by myself. Why do I have to go by myself! I don't want to go by myself, I mean I do… but. Oh never mind.**_

_**I'll go after this entry. I don't think I ever told you but that day after Kyle and Stan had visited Kenny, Kyle invited me to have lunch with them again. Stan agreed with him too. It was weird, the way they were being so nice to me. I mean, I've always thought they were nice when they weren't around Cartman. Kyle more than Stan but I guess Stan has a reputation to keep being in football and all. But… Kyle's in basketball so… oh well. I guess it doesn't matter, the point is they invited me.**_

_**I was a little worried about Cartman, and Stan saw that. He told me Cartman, well he called Cartman a name but I wont repeat it, was going to be tutored at home for awhile. That's nice for me, I wont have to worry about anything for awhile.**_

_**So, the real reason for this entry. When I was walking home from school, Kyle caught up with me. He asked if I was going to go see Kenny today and I told him at the time that I wasn't, I changed my mind, anyway you're not going to believe what he said.**_

_**He told me that if I did go see him I was going to have to stop being wishy washy. I didn't get understand what he meant but then he cleared it up for me. He said, that as much as Kenny doesn't show it, that he's really fragile, and that he chose who he associated with carefully. He said that I shouldn't have taken back what I said to Kenny when I told him I loved him.**_

_**I wish I hadn't either. **_

_**Well… I guess I should get going before dinner. Mom and Dad aren't home so this is the only time I can go without them offering to drive me. If they drove me I couldn't very well sneak in through a window now could I? **_

_**Dang, its raining out now.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

Just when I fall into a comfortable nap, there's a tapping on my window, which is weird. Kyle and Stan never tap, they've gotten in the habit of just barging in, like it's their own room. I sit up and look out. What the hell is Tweek doing here? After staring for awhile I wave him in and watch as he struggles with the window and then getting in.

He's soaked to the bone, I hadn't noticed that its raining outside.

"There's a clean towel in there," I point to the bottom drawer of my dresser.

Shivering and jumping around even more because he's cold he opens my drawer and pulls out the towel, wrapping himself inside it.

"Do you want a change of clothes?" I ask, but he shakes his head, so I stare at him waiting for him to explain why he has come by. When he doesn't I sigh. "Why'd you come by?" I ask him.

"Oh Jesus," I hear him mutter to himself. "Ju-just to see how you were, erg, um, to see how you were doing. Because you, you said we were," he starts to hyperventilate. "You said we were friends and friends check up on each other right? We're still friends right?" He suddenly asks, stopping his jittering slightly.

"We are," I tell him. "And I'm fine now. I can probably go back to school tomorrow." I say half heartedly. "What about you, you look like…" I restrain myself from saying shit when he looks like he's preparing himself to flinch. I'm starting to notice that, he flinches when I swear. "You don't look well," I mutter out.

"Er, yeah, there's…" he looks around and twists his fingers. It looks like he's about to break them off, but he does remind me of something.

"There's filter face masks and rubber gloves on that shelf," I point to the top of my desk shelf.

Tweek's eyes light up and he all but races over and opens the boxes pulling on the gloves and the face mask over his mouth and nose. He looks like a complete dumb ass, but I have to repress laughter anyway. Kyle had said something to me before that Tweek may be coming over so I had asked him if he could bring me some boxes of stuff that would enable Tweek to calm the fuck down, with the germ problem he has and all.

"Thanks!" He says happily and walks back over to the end of my bed.

"Whatever," I respond. "Why are you here again? To see how I am, that's right. Anything else?"

Tweek looks around nervously, "I- I guess not. But I brought you, ergh, umm," he stops trying to talk and pulls out a thermos and hands it to me.

"What is it?" I ask taking it and opening the cap; sniffing the contents before taking a sip.

"Its lemonade… you never had any, and, you, you said that you would so I… brought some over…" he trails off, having whispered the last part so I could barely hear him.

_He brought over…lemonade. Is that it?_

"It's good Tweek," I say when I realize he's staring at me intensely, having been waiting for my response.

"It is?" He squeaks out, as if he doesn't believe me, and I nod to reassure him, and then I finish it off, handing it back to him when I'm done.

I watch him screw the cap back on and as he does, I remember something, "Tweek?"

He jumps at the sound of my voice but I ignore his immediate response and follow through with my question. "Have your wrists healed yet, from when Sparky cut you?" I've just now realized that he's been wearing long sleeved shirts since he got whispered about it so much.

"Um," he sets the thermos down and pulls up his sleeves for me to see. I sit up slightly and look; the cuts have mostly healed but its looking like he'll end up with some harsh scarring.

"Didn't you ever put any of that healing ointment on the scratches so you don't scar?" I ask him and he shakes his head. I sigh and lean over the side of my bed. "You should have." I say, realizing he may not be able to hear me with my head under the bed. "It can reduce the permanent scarring. Lucky for you your cuts aren't completely healed. If they were," when I come back up I'm holding a small tube of ointment. "You'd be fucked." I watch as he winches.

"Sorry." I tell him. "Come here," I command, patting a hand on my bed. He looks a little unsure but he sits at the side of my bed. I grab a hold of his wrist and study the cuts, holding tight as he wiggles about. Setting the ointment down, I reach over to my side table and pull out a few swabs.

Opening the ointment, squeezing some of it out I place a bit on the swab and am about to put it on his wrist when he jerks his hand away. I look at him.

"Are you sure, you, um, ergh, do you know what you're doing?" He asks me.

"Of course I do, I get cuts and bruises all the time."

"From what?" he asks curiously and I ignore him, grabbing a hold of his wrist again.

"Just trust me alright?" I ask exasperatedly.

He says nothing and as I get closer to the scratches he tenses and I look back up at his slightly frightened face and I feel the annoyance I felt for him earlier leave. "It's not going to hurt okay, I promise." He meets my eyes and nods, my own go back to his wrist. I slowly put on the ointment when I hear him wince I glance at him, but he shakes his head.

When I'm done I toss the swab in a garbage can and hand the ointment to Tweek. "Three times a day." I tell him and he nods. When I nod back I feel a wave of nausea pass through my head and I try to shake it off but it remains for a little while before ceasing. I close my eyes and rest my head against my pillow swallowing some gulps of air. I have a feeling that my sickness isn't through with me afterall. I hate when that happens.

When I feel Tweek shift on my bed I reopen my eyes to see that he's looking closer at me.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I nod.

"Some nausea is all." I turn my head to the side. "You should go, my mom should be checking on me soon and no one is supposed to be visiting me."

Tweek nods and stands back up, looking around as if he's lost something. "What're you looking for?" I ask him.

"N-nothing, its just… if, if you're not f-feeling, ergh, um, can I visit you again if you're not back in…uhn, in school tomorrow?" He manages out.

I loll my head back to his face. He's biting his lip and twisting his hair again. Averting my eyes for a moment I think about something I've really been meaning to ask him before looking back. "Why do you want to be my friend Tweek?"

"W-what?" He squeaks out.

"Why do you want to be my friend?" I ask again. "I've been wondering that since you've asked me. I mean, why me, there are tons of better options I'd choose for you to become friends with. I'm not exactly a model anything, I have a shitty home life. I swear tons, something you clearly don't like me doing and I'm the sort of guy people cross the street when they see. So, yeah I want to know why you want in, in my small circle of friends so badly; especially given the fact that I've teased you since we were little kids."

Tweek doesn't blink for a long time and when he finally does he looks down at my floor, wringing his hands together. "Be-because… well- because you're, you're so calm and that's something I could never be. And you do things at your own pace, and, and you have two really good friends. I wish I had friends like Kyle and Stan. And even if you did tease me it isn't how like Cartman ever did. And you were the only one to ask me about my cuts without assuming that I cut."

I notice his voice gets stronger and firmer as he talks on, a trait I haven't seen in him before.

"And you, you were my partner with the project and you didn't say anything mean about it. You never gave me dirty looks like a lot of others did, you bought me that lunch the one time and saved me from Cartman and you invited me to lunch too. And you helped me clean up when I had all that food all over me, even getting my PE clothes when my lockers a bad combination and I know how you hate the number 13 and it was a Friday that day too. I really didn't think you'd even come back. I know you're not the most patient person with me when I stutter and mess up, but you don't walk away from me either… not really anyway and I just, I just-" He stops for a moment. "I just want to be like you." He finishes.

I reflect for a moment. It's a lot of pointless little reasons and I'm dumbfounded that he said it all, and so quickly. I never realized that me doing all those small things added up to a liking toward me. Even being rendered speechless for a moment, I did catch the last thing he said.

"You're the kid who wrote that in the bathroom stall aren't you?" I realize and he nods.

"A-and K-Kenny?"

I wait for him to continue.

"I don't- I didn't mean to say that I didn't… I still…" he stops and sighs dejectedly.

"_Like _me, like me?" I ask him, _for_ him, and he nods, looking ashamed for some reason.

_Do you feel better knowing he still feels that way about you?_

Yeah… I do.

"You know," I start and he looks up. "Even if I'm not sick tomorrow, you can still come over… if you want."

"I can?"

"Yeah."

He smiles at me, "okay."

"You really should go," I point out when he continues to just smile and stare at me after a time.

His eyes widen, "oh yeah. I think I've been here too long too. My mom and dad are probably wondering where I am. Okay, well… ummm," he starts to stutter again.

"Bye?" I ask amused.

"Ye-yeah. Bye Kenny," he says and starts to climb out of my window only he stops when he remembers to grab the thermos, and then he leaves after several more goodbyes.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Kenny now knows how I feel about him again. He said it really, but I didn't deny it. I was a little nervous about what he would say about it but he didn't really. He did ask me why I wanted to be his friend which caught me off guard, and I rambled some answer that I don't really remember. **_

_**He looked better when I saw him and he said that he'd probably be back in school tomorrow and that even if he wasn't he said I could visit him. Sick or not too! So I think its okay to love him and just be his friend. At least I can still hang around him, and he didn't seem disgusted or anything that I felt this way about him. I'm really thankful for that, if he did, and if he really didn't like me at all I wouldn't feel that great. I don't think I'd even want to go to school much.**_

_**I should go shower. When I went over to visit him he had gloves and a mask for me! I really didn't expect that, it was really considerate of him. Even so, germs were floating everywhere and I did get really close to him. I don't mind the germs as much because they're Kenny's germs, but he's sick right now so I should still shower. Part of me hopes he isn't in school tomorrow just so I can go visit him again while he's sick and bring him more lemonade, which he loved! But I think I'd rather see him healthy at school. Also that way I won't have to wear the mask and gloves. I'm glad they were there but I don't like having to wear them. They're really tight and could cut off my circulation, which could kill me if I wasn't careful.**_

_**Anyway, shower time!**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

The next day when I wake up my symptoms have returned though not as severe, so I don't go to school. When I hear the sound of someone opening my window I expect to see Stan and Kyle or even Tweek. I'm not expecting or wanting to see Craig. I cough and frown as he makes his way into my bedroom.

"So you really are sick," he says looking around, his eyes landing back on me. "Shame. I really wanted a fuck from you."

"Sweet of you," I croak out. "About that-" I pause to cough hard a few times. The coughing sends my head spinning and I grab the water glass that's on my side table, inhaling a bit before talking more. "I think we should call it quits. It was fun and all but you're sort of a bastard Craig."

I watch his grin fall. "What?"

I nod, not really understanding what he doesn't understand about it. I've thought about it a little during this sick episode and Craig has to go. He's been the worst one. Sure Butters was crazy and wild, Clyde a little dominant at times when he got the courage and even Token demanded taking charge, but none of them have been as vicious as Craig. I remember our first time, I could barely walk for that entire week, it hurt like hell. And there's the fact that I don't even like him.

"Are you joking?" He asks me slowly.

"No."

I imagine a few different reactions from Craig. I imagine him to maybe flip me off, tell me I wasn't that great anyway. Maybe for him to even agree, I don't imagine a disappointed even hurt look.

"But I-" He stops to take a minute to think. "What about how I feel?"

"What do you mean?" I ask after a few coughs.

"The only reason I ever come to you is you're the only one I feel that thing for."

"What thing?"

"That thing. You know, the tingly thing people sometimes feel for each other. I figured that was the only reason you kept coming back for me too."

I'm confused. I think I know what he means but it couldn't possibly be what I'm thinking. "I thought we were just fuck buddies." I tell him, and even that's technically wrong since we're most definitely not buddies.

"Fuck buddies?" He scrunches his eyebrows together. "Well, yeah that's what we mostly do but we talk and stuff."

_We do? _

I guess there were those few times… but I was thinking about other things when he was talking.

A look of realization comes over Craig's face as mine stays confused and lost. "Oh. It's only one sided isn't it?" I nod slowly. "I'm not the only one you fuck, am I?" He asks.

I shake my head, "am I the only one you-" I'm cut off when he nods. "Oh." I state and cough. "I figured there were others, given the way you talk sometimes."

"That was supposed to make you jealous."

"Oh. Why not just say something?" I ask him

"I was going to, ugh, what a fucking mess. I think I'm going to leave," he turns back to start heading out of my window.

"Are you, er, going to be okay?" I call and cough after him. He pokes his head back through my window and looks at me for a second.

"Yeah, we wouldn't have worked anyway. I always felt like I was breaking you every time we did it."

"You were."

Craig laughs but for once it doesn't make me cringe in disgust. "Later Kenny, get better too, you sound like shit." He isn't gone for even five minutes when another person climbs their way through my window. Tweek.

"Hi," he says and I say it back, watching him get settled sitting at the end of my bed. "Was um, was that Craig? I di-didn't know you guys talked… much."

My ears perk, "that's just the thing Tweek, we don't." Before I know it I've told Tweek everything Craig and I just talked about, without bothering to sugar coat it for his ears. By the time I'm done I'm stuck in a laughing, coughing, wheezing fit. To relay it all to a third person makes it sound surreal. I don't mean to sound aloof about it, but who knew Craig could feel, and for me of all people. I always thought he'd fair better with… anyone else.

As I glance at Tweek's reaction I notice him sigh in relief. "What was that for?" I ask him, reaching over to grab my water.

"N-nothing," he says as he looks off and twitches a few times. I eye him as he avoids my look.

"He wasn't ever competition for you. It's odd seeing you jealous." I tell him and he turns back to face me, his face flushed. I cant help it, I laugh at his embarrassed face. When he smiles back at me in return my laughter starts to fade. I've only just recognized that Tweek has a nice smile, a really nice one. I don't know why I never noticed before.

"That night at the school dance," I start, changing the subject slightly. "You saw us didn't you? Outside by the dumpsters, you saw Craig and me?"

When Tweek nods I decide to leave it at that. We chat for a little bit more, well I talk and heave while he stutters and squirms, it seems to work for us. Throughout that week Tweek comes everyday. I'm surprised at how easily conversation comes for the two of us. Kyle and Stan come by a few times; giving me Kyle approved food and updates on the stalker situation at school. Barbrady along with our incompetent detectives have finally been brought in on the list. They don't have any suspects and Cartman's under close surveillance, as well as all the others on the revenge list.

"Maybe," Kyle starts one afternoon that they're visiting me. "You should let the police know you put Cartman on the list Kenny."

I haven't looked at Stan but I know we're both looking at him with disbelief. "Kyle if he does that he'll be blamed for the whole thing." Stan says.

"No he won't, he's been sick for two weeks and the incidents keep happening. It clearly isn't Kenny."

"I'm not saying anything Kyle," I say sitting up, for the first time in days my health feels back to normal. "Even if I don't get into any sort of trouble Cartman'll massacre me."

"You did send some crazed dude after him."

"Are you defending Cartman?" I ask in pure awe.

Kyle folds his arms in annoyance, "I'm just saying he'd have a right to be pissed off at you."

I look at Stan who was also staring at Kyle as if he hadn't ever seen him before. "He's been like this ever since getting the hots for his mystery guy. He's like a changed person." Stan says to me and Kyle stands angry.

"It's got nothing to do with him okay! Fuck, you guys!" Kyle, I'm sure if he could have, would have stormed out of my bedroom, but since he couldn't leave through the doorway he hopped out through the window; pushing his hands firmly in his jacket swearing to himself as he walked off in the distance.

"It has everything to do with him." Stan and I both say.

"You know I don't even know who it is either. He won't tell me, as if I'll judge him. I mean I think I've been acting pretty well for a guy who just discovered his other best friend is gay. I haven't said anything condescending and I've been completely supportive but he just refuses to let me in on who he has this thing for." Stan tells me, sounding frustrated. "I tell him everything, we tell each other everything, we always have."

"Yeah but this is probably a little different." It's definitely not the time to tell Stan, Kyle confided in me.

"I know it is…" Stan sighs and lays down next to me, taking up more space than I would have liked. "Where's your mom?"

"Out, doing something. I don't know, she said she wouldn't be back for hours."

"And… your dad?"

"Don't know that either. I haven't seen him since the day I woke up sick."

"You should get sick more often it sounds."

"That's what I was thinking too."

"Ugh," Stan rolls over on his side. "Do you mind if I crash here for awhile then? Shelly's home for a few days. The less time I'm in the house, the better."

Sometimes I forget Stan has a sister. "Sure." I tell him and he mutters a thanks.

"Tweeks getting more comfortable around Kyle and I," Stan continues.

"That so?" I ask nonchalantly as I pull out a textbook and a few blank sheets of lined paper. Naturally when Stan and Kyle bring me food, Kyle's kind enough to bring me my homework assignments and explain a few things for me. Bastard. Being sick is supposed to come with a few rare perks, no homework is included in those perks. He didn't seem to understand that as Stan and I tried to explain it to him last week.

"Yeah, he still shakes as fuck, but I'm getting used to it. It was weird the other day too, because when Kyle and I were going to see that new movie Lockdown, I had the urge to ask Tweek if he wanted to go along without realizing it, like it was natural."

I pause in turning a page in my textbook, "did you invite him?"

"I caught myself before I did."

I frown at the wording in my pages. "Would it have been so bad if you had?"

"I already sit with him at lunch, I shouldn't feel obligated to invite him to outside social events."

My frown deepens, "he's not a bad guy Stan, once you get past the twitching."

Stan rears his head around to look at me, "I don't believe it." He mutters.

"What?"

"You like him."

"Yeah, so what? I can't be friends with people beside you and Kyle all of a sudden?"

"Kenny you know goddamn well that, that is not what I meant." Stan turns his entire body to face me and I keep my head down at my book, jotting down a few notes just to distract myself from his eyes.

_You know exactly what he meant, and you're not denying it._

"I don't like him like that." I say. There, I denied it.

Stan sits himself up on his elbows, keeping his eyes on me the whole time as he readjusts himself. "No, you do. I thought you were just trying to get points for being a nice guy so you don't end up on that list. But… this is explains why you wanted him to sit with us at lunch and why you distracted Cartman from teasing him by putting Butters back in his line of fire." A look of realization is coming over Stan's face.

"Craig even told me you two stopped doing… well, you know. And I know Tweek comes here everyday, he's mentioned it, he seemed so ecstatic that all I could think was poor you having to deal with Tweek every single day, but you like it when he comes over. You actually have a thing for Tweek Tweak."

Stan jumps when I slam my textbook shut and glare at him.

"Stan you're pissing me off. I do not have a thing or anything for Tweek. I would never lower myself even further than I already am. How could anyone ever have a thing for someone who twitches so much and stutters in such an annoying manner? It'd drive a guy insane. Tweek is the last person I'd ever consider being with. He's slow witted, he's scared of germs for fucks sake, he cries over the stupidest shit, he has no friends, no social skills. I hate his stutter, his voice, the way he fucking squirms over everything, the way he twists his hair, the way he dresses considering his parents have plenty of money and I hate that he always hangs around me now, and most of all I hate that fucking lemonade he always brings me."

Stan looks at me slightly appalled as I catch my breath and when I do I swear. Stan turns and swears softly under his breath. Of course, like these things are Tweeks standing outside my window that's partly cracked open. He looks lost and he glances around slightly before I watch a few tears stream down his cheeks.

"Tweek," I start softly but he interrupts.

"Sorry, I won't bother you anymore." He says and drops something that was in his hand on the ground before running away.

I can hear the sound of silence and my eyes stay down as I hear Stan stand and walk over to my window. When I feel him sit back down on my bed he's holding a thermos.

"What's in it?" I ask quietly, still looking down.

I hear Stan screw open the top, "lemonade."

I nod to myself.

"There's a note too." He tells me, and I look up and brush my hair out of my face.

"What's it say?"

"You don't want to open it yourself?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Alright," he says and I watch as he opens the small note. Looking through the slight transparent paper I can see Tweeks handwriting. When Stan makes a small noise I don't understand, I stare hard at him.

"What's it say?" I ask him.

He starts to hand it to me, "I really think you should read it yourself Kenny."

"What does it say?" I ask him again firmly and loudly, pushing the note back toward him. I don't know why I want him to read it out loud rather than read it myself, but that's what I want and after a long sigh and a pause from him, he reads it to me.

"**I love you Kenny, and I hope one day you can love me too."**

My head drops in one of my hands, and I try not to wish myself dead.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Sorry if I get any tears on you, but, today was going to be a really good day. It started out good too. I did good in all my classes, I was getting along with Stan and Kyle again at lunch and I had planned out a way how to tell Kenny again, how I really felt without actually telling him. I wrote a note instead and I was going to give it to him.**_

_**But when I walked to his house I saw that Stan was inside and I didn't want to give him the note when Stan was there, that would have been too embarrassing, so I waited awhile hoping he would leave. Well, it was cold outside and it looked like Stan wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon, so I gathered up all my courage, which you know isn't a lot, and I was going to knock on the window and just give him the note. I had also made him more lemonade since he liked it so much…**_

_**But it turns out he doesn't really like it. In fact, he doesn't even really like me either. I heard him say that when he was talking to Stan. He said a lot more too. He doesn't like anything about me and he hates that I always hang around him. But I don't get it Journal. He said we were friends, if he didn't want to be friends then why would he say we were? Why did he have to lie? You know, people had started to notice that I would go over to Kenny's house a lot and some people told me not to do that because he wasn't any good but I just figured they didn't know Kenny like I did.**_

_**But I guess I don't know him either, do I? **_

_**I don't feel very good; I think I'm going to take a nap.**_

_**Tweek**_

I open the front door of my house the next morning and see Stan and Kyle there.

"Let me grab my bag," I tell them and they both nod. I turn to head back to my room and when I get in I stop when I see the thermos and note still on my desk. I haven't drank the lemonade.

I grab my stuff and close the door, heading back out to the living room, yelling a bye to my mom before leaving to school.

The three of us head into Stan's car, I sit in the back and lean against the door looking out the window. Stan told Kyle what happened, and instead of a lecture from him, he just looked at me for a moment before patting my chest and giving me a half hug. I have no idea what that meant, but I'll take that over being yelled at by him.

I start to feel knots form in my stomach when we get closer to the school.

"Did you call him?" Kyle asks from the front seat.

"Yeah. The first few times no one answered, then his mom did and tried to get him on the phone but she said he didn't want to. She's worried about him. I guess he didn't tell her what happened." I say in a deadpanned voice.

Stan pulls into the parking lot of the school and we all get out. I look at the school; it looks bigger than it did before. Right away a few people yell hellos in my direction and a few people stop to ask how I am.

I didn't know I'd be missed so much.

My first class of the day I share with Tweek. The majority of my classes are with Tweek. I look to Kyle who I also have first period with, he gives me a tight smile. He has a student council meeting first thing and wont be in class.

When the warning bell sounds we make our way into the school, like we normally do. Chatting with a few people, myself more than usual since I had been gone for so long, and plenty of people tell me about the stalker thing even though I already know all about it. Some are laughing about it, others look genuinely worried. Mostly those are people who could be potentially added to the list. I make my way through the hoards of people, eventually parting ways from both Kyle and Stan heading to first period. I step into the door just as the bell rings. The teacher looks up at me with a smile.

"Good to see you back in class Kenny."

I nod and glance around at the classroom, at once spotting the two empty seats that are beside each other. Mine and Kyle's, I dare to look over at Tweek's seat. He's looking down and he's completely still. It's eerie. I head to my seat, placing my bag on the ground.

"Creepy huh?" I look over at Token who was the one to talk. I had to do a double take. Token hasn't talked to me in two years since I got him drunk, so I don't say anything, assuming he must be talking out loud and yet he keeps talking. "He's been like this for two and a half weeks now. No one knows what's wrong with him, but who knew a day would come when people would start to miss the old Tweek. He's just not himself."

Token goes back to facing the front of the classroom when our teacher starts to go over the day's assignment. I watch Tweek for a little while longer, as long as I can before I have to face the front with the rest of my peers. Once I do I immediately feel his eyes on my back.

The time goes by slowly and I don't hear a thing the teacher is saying, fuck I wish Kyle was here, so someone could be paying attention. All I can think of is Tweek. I don't feel like his eyes have ever wandered from my back. Who would stare that long! He's making me nervous as fuck, obviously I have to talk to him. But how should I approach this, I really hurt him.

_Ever thought of not approaching it?_

Not approach it?

_Yeah okay, you're friends with Tweek. That's been established, but he should have known what he was getting himself into by befriending you._

If anything I've always been loyal to my friends, they're all I have.

_I told you not to get involved with him, now look at the mess you created._

Me! You're in this too! We're one in the same!

_And now you've screwed us. Want my opinion? You go on like nothing ever happened. You pissed him off, oh well. This is what you get for not evening out your days like you used to._

I cant go on like I didn't do anything.

_Then suffer._

I cross my arms and look up when I hear my voice being called by the teacher. "What was that?" I ask.

"I said do you have the answer to the question on the board?"

I glance at the question. I have no idea.

"It's the 18th century," Tweek says in a quiet un-Tweek like voice.

"Very good Tweek," our teacher says and continues with the lecture.

I look behind me at Tweek, he meets my eye finally. I feel like I should try to relay something, some sort of apology, anything. Instead I can feel my eyebrows raise and I feel my head turn back to the front of the class. I'm the one in the wrong, and yet I'm the one that dismissed him.

As I begin to chastise and curse myself for being such an asshole I feel someone sit down in Kyle's seat. I nearly jump a mile when I find the new calm blonde sitting beside me.

"What are you doing?" I ask icily. Shit, that wasn't supposed to come out sounding so mean.

"We're supposed to get with our partners," Tweek says.

"Partners?" I ask confused looking around as everyone else has divided into groups of two. "For what?"

"To finish answering the questions on the board." He replies as he pulls out a few pieces of notebook paper from his backpack. Placing the paper on the desk he looks up at the questions and studies them, while I study him in astonishment.

How can he just sit here like this? I'm being driven insane and he should be pissed at me, or sad, whatever strikes him. He's not supposed to be calm; he's supposed to be tweeking. Not acting like nothing has ever happened, like I never said anything.

"Tweek," I start but he cuts me off with the tightest smile I have ever seen.

"Oh, do you know the answer for question two?"

I can't speak, what the fuck is he doing? I do manage to shake my head and not just stare like an open mouthed twit. We go through the questions, and turn them in when the bell rings. Tweek gets slightly ahead of me out of the door and just as I'm about to reach out and grab his shoulder I stop, and instead let him go.

"Well?" Both Stan and Kyle ask me come lunch time.

"Well, what?" I ask, deciding what I want to eat from the selection in the lunch line.

"What happened with Tweek, have you talked to him?" Kyle asks me, grabbing his tray and making his way to our table, with both me and Stan beside him.

I pause, "no, and I don't think he wants to right now."

"What makes you think that?" Stan asks, setting down his tray on our table. He looks up as we all see Tweek enter the room. Tweek eyes the three of us and we eye him back. Rather than sit with us, he chooses a seat on the other side of the cafeteria. It's where he used to sit alone, but instead of sitting alone I watch puzzled as Butters, Clyde, Token and even Craig join him. His old friends.

"That's weird," Stan points out, chewing with his mouth open.

"Damn it Stan would you chew with your mouth closed?" Kyle asks exasperatedly.

"Since when are they all friends again?" I ask, ignoring Kyle's comment toward Stan.

"Guess you haven't noticed then," Kyle responds as he starts to peel an orange. "Most everyone's been nice to Tweek since he's stopped tweeking. People like him more now that he's acting normal."

But normal is weird for him. I don't say it out loud, but its what I think. While half paying attention to Stan and Kyle as the conversation drifts to something else, I'm half paying attention to watching Tweek in his new environment. I notice that in the entire duration of the lunch period its Clyde, Token, Craig and Butters talking. He never opens his mouth. He just sits there, silently, still, keeping his head on his tray.

It goes on like this for days. He never changes and he never talks to me more than he has to. When he does he's so civil and nice that I want to choke him. I try more times than I would have for any other person to get him to talk. To make him talk to me, but he always manages to get around it. It's all I can think about, he's in my mind 24/7. All I can see is that look on his face, and his back as he ran off that day.

By the end of the week I'm pacing in Stan's living room. Him and Kyle are sitting on the couch watching me, both with forlorn looks

"I understand what you said is chewing you up inside, but you're going to fuck up the carpet if you keep pacing." Stan says with a sigh.

I plop down in-between them. "Why the fuck, do I care so much about this?" I suddenly ask them. "I wouldn't care if say… Cartman had overheard me saying that."

"But you don't like Cartman," Kyle points out.

"I wouldn't care if it were…" I try to think of someone I don't hate. "Butters."

Kyle frowns, but catches himself before Stan notices, "well… you said it yourself, that you were friends with Tweek. Since when are you friends with Butters?" Stan points out.

"Just give Tweek some more time Kenny and then you can apologize." Kyle tells me.

"And in the meantime I what?" I ask Kyle, looking at him for guidance I suddenly want. "Because, for some reason, I cant get over this."

"This is so unlike you," Stan mutters quietly. "I never thought I'd say this, but why don't you go out and… enjoy yourself. It might take your mind off all this."

I stare at Stan and I know Kyle is too.

_Was he suggesting you go off and fuck someone?_

That's… what is sounded like. But Stan disapproves of things like that. Shit, he must be worried. But… maybe that's what I need. Maybe that's what I should do.

_I've mentioned that before ass. You didn't listen when I suggested it._

Piss off. I stand, knocking both Stan and Kyle slightly. My face is determined and I give him a smile. "Good idea Stan." I say and leave at once, not bothering to look back at their faces.

Instinctively I head to Craig's, but halfway there I remember that situation. No, I have to go to someone else. I try to think of all the possibilities. There's quite a few, but not many won't ask questions I don't feel like answering. I choose an old friend from middle school. As we're going at it, my mind finally lets all thoughts of Tweek slip away. Finally. Just as I climax into the guy, the thoughts return ten fold, and I groan inwardly.

It seems a fuck is only a quick fix. But quick enough. Everyday after school I meet with someone, and for a few moments I can forget. It works for me and after a time I start to feel like things are returning back to normal with me.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I have friends again. Isn't that great. People talk to me more at school too, and no one calls me names. I'm finally being given a break, it's nice, it's all very… nice. Oh, have I mentioned I stopped shaking too? Yeah, I have. This is what I've always wanted.**_

**_Journal, is it bad, that even after Kenny said he hated me that I still really _really_ like him? Is it bad that I still love him? He had lied to me and what I overheard him saying was so mean, that I still hurt, I should be so mad at him. But I cant be, because I knew this would happen. I miss him, but he hasn't even gone anywhere._**

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

My life has been methodical for 18 years. And I've been fine with it. I don't mind change, but I don't think it's necessary. Everything is pretty much the same. I've been doing everything in moderation. Evening out my days; Sleeping, eating, drinking, smoking and fucking. Perfect.

Fuck. Things are not fucking perfect anymore. He ruined it, he messed it all up. That stupid, fucking, twitching, blonde freak.

I lay silently next to girl beside me. It's a different girl than yesterday and its her bed, her house and she's sleeping soundly, glad someone is. Her breath is coming in slowly. She satisfied me in that short moment. The way everyone has been, but the moment has past, and I still know what I knew after all these fuck fests. These aren't me anymore, I cant keep doing this. The thought somewhat startles me because I am Kenny McCormick. I hate commitment, love no one, but my two friends and I definitely am not supposed to crave someone else's attention, touches, looks, scent...

And of all people it definitely isn't supposed to be Tweek. I just want to apologize to the fucker and he won't let me!

I cant believe my thoughts are fixated on a kid that cant be still for a second. I used to be amused at the idea of taunting him, now I practically want to throw myself down in front of his feet and beg for forgiveness. Well… I don't quite want to do that. I face the ceiling, remembering for the nth time when this...this, thing with Tweek had appeared. When did I start caring what he thought of me? It hasn't been sudden, so I don't know why I didn't see it coming. First he was an annoying thorn, then he was tolerable and now… I don't even know.

I think back to my behavior when he used to act the way he did before he got all reserved and calm. I remember when I started to smile at the way he twitched instead of smirking. Sure I was still annoyed, but I smiled inside. I made sure Cartman stopped teasing him and of course Cartman doesn't care who he teases as long as he gets someone.

I turn to my side away from the girl. What I said to Stan the day Tweek overheard replays in my head over and over again. I exhale a shaky breath when I admit it to myself. Everything I said I hated about Tweek, is everything I like about him.

_Not love about him?_

I don't love Tweek Tweak. I don't.

I try to sleep but after hours of rolling around and tossing I give in and climb out of bed. I pull my pants back on and toss my shirt back around myself. Tweek and I are talking, right now. Never mind that it's three in the morning. He can sleep when I have a clear conscious.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I can't sleep. I had a really bad dream about clowns trying to eat me. I hate that dream, especially since it was different this time. This time the clown took off his mask, and behind it was Kenny. I have to stop thinking about him, he hates me. I need to accept that.**_

_**Oh Jesus! Journal! I heard a noise! **_

_**I heard it again! It's coming from my window! Maybe it's the clown! I'll be right back!**_

_**.o.**_

_**I went to go peek around my curtain. It's not the clown, but the person who was behind the mask. Kenny's outside, throwing rocks at my window. I was going to ignore him, but he saw me! Now what should I do? It's three in the morning and if he keeps up that noise he'll wake up my parents!**_

_**Okay, I'll go down just to tell him to go away and that's all.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

**End **of chapter **11leven

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AN: **And so ends the Lemonade vignettes. This chapter has far too much to comment on so, you do that for me. Hope everyone had a good holiday season! I did! Think of this 26 pg chapter as a late Christmas day present from me! (:

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	12. Insipid Sky Parting Clouds

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
XII. Insipid Sky Parting Clouds

I stand outside the Tweak household and look up at the window that is Tweeks bedroom. There's a faint light coming from inside so I know he's up. Good. I start to pick up a few pebbles that are at the base of the house. Luckily I still have a baseball players arm. Aiming carefully, knowing that Tweeks parents bedroom is right near his, I toss a few of the stones at Tweeks window. I pause after a few tosses before beginning again. I stop when I see some movement from the light inside his room. Eventually I see a shift in the curtains and I at once see Tweeks face which he immediately pulls back from the curtains when I know he sees me. Smirking, I walk back to the front door and stand outside of it, waiting for him to open it.

I can hear his footsteps coming down the stairs, when he approaches the door I feel nervousness set in. I start to study my shoes as the faint sound of the door opening occurs. Before I can even look up, before I can say anything he speaks first.

"It's late. Go away please," he starts to close the door and in a sudden movement I step partway into the doorway, he doesn't notice and bangs my foot. A loose set of swears erupts from my mouth and he re-opens the door, panicking. I clamp my mouth shut even with the sting, I don't want to risk waking up his parents.

"Oh Jesus, I'm sorry! Are you okay Kenny, why would you put your foot in the doorway like that?"

I grit my teeth together and try to swallow the immense pain of my foot. It's throbbing but I try to pay it no mind. "I'm fine, but I didn't come here at three in the morning to get a door slammed in my face." I tell him.

He doesn't say anything for a moment as he looks at me impassively, his earlier concern for me already having vanished. Averting his eyes, he rubs the side of his arm with the other. "Why are you here? I don't really understand." He says, though I barely hear him. "If you… if you didn't like me, at all why did you pretend to?" He shakes his head to himself, "Cartman doesn't like me either but he's pretty clear about it. He wouldn't let it drag on. It hurts my feelings when he does stuff to me, but…" He pauses for a moment. "But what you did… hurts ten times more." His statement is below a whisper and his head is hanging down as he shifts from one foot to the other, one of his arms behind the door as he leans against the frame, letting his blonde hair fall into his face.

I can't see his face, but I don't have to, to know a few tears are falling from his eyes. I felt bad for what he overhead before, but to stand here and watch him cry over something I did…

"Tweek, let's go to the swings." I say.

I rightfully expect him to refuse, to slam the door in my face, and he should, I deserve that at the very least. Instead he says nothing, shuts his front door, passes me, and starts walking toward the direction of the woods.

I'm unsure of what to do, so I follow behind saying nothing. I don't want to stay and talk right in front of his door, and the swings have always made me feel better, they've always given me hope. It's been my retreat for so long because of so many things, that I can't believe that I'm finally sharing it with someone else. Or that, that someone else is Tweek.

As we get farther from the main part of town, Tweek slows down and I take the lead. I don't imagine he knows exactly where the swing set in the little park is located. It's pretty hard to find I realize. When I had came across it I was running, zigzagging in the woods trying to flee from my own demons. It was a miracle that I was able to find it after that first time.

Once we reach the clearing, I momentarily forget I'm with Tweek as I claim my favorite of the two. I sit, and take a moment to test the bounce. The set doesn't look that old, but I still expect it to break one day. It's taken a lot of abuse from me over the years. Feeling that it's safe I start a slow glide through the air, hanging on lightly, barely pumping my legs. I don't feel like going high tonight. When I get to the highest point in the glide I raise my head up to the sky. It's a partly clouded evening; the moon is only able to give a small amount of light. I take in a few deep breathes as I swing back down, closing my eyes.

When I open them back up, I see Tweek and am instantly pushed out of my reverie.

_You came here for a reason._

I know, and I had momentarily pushed that reason in the back of my mind. Tweek is standing on the edge of the second swing, not sitting on it. I slow my glide to a stop.

"You don't want to swing?" I ask.

"_You don't want to swing?" Are you serious! You're supposed to be apologizing! Not making idle conversation!_

It's the first thing that came out. I didn't really intend on saying that. Apparently neither did Tweek as his face looks confused, but he does sit on the swing, though not actually moving as his hands grip the chains.

"I don't know how to." He responds.

I look at him in awe, "you don't know how to? Everyone knows how to." I state, not really believing him.

"I wasn't allowed, because I shake so much."

Oh. That makes sense.

"But you're not shaking now; do you want me to teach you?"

Tweek turns his head to stare at me, giving me a look I can't read. "Okay," he finally says.

I try to teach Tweek how to swing. I tell him about pumping your legs, showing him how to do it, but he's a hopeless case. He can't seem to get the pumping down and he starts to realize that.

"It's aright," I tell him. "It'll take practice."

"When would I practice? I couldn't do it in public, that's way too embarrassing, I'd never hear the end of it."

"You can practice here," I say.

He doesn't say anything for a moment before nodding. I watch as he attempts to swing again. I've never seen anyone concentrate so hard on something that has always been so natural for me. After a few more pointless attempts he stops completely and sighs in frustration.

"I just want to be able to swing like you do," he says quietly.

I rise and abandon the swing I'm on, and much to his surprise as well as my own, I start to gently push him. I don't let him get too high, I can tell he isn't comfortable with that idea but I let him get the air he wants.

He's becoming more relaxed, he's letting the same feeling I always get when I swing overtake him.

_But its time to stop avoiding the obvious._

Tweeks relaxed, but I'm still tense. When it looks like I might give him another push I instead grab a hold of his chains, stopping him, but getting jostled all the same. He shrieks a little, surprised at my action. As he starts to turn twist himself around to look at me I drop my head, still holding onto his chains.

"K-Kenney?" I hear him.

I glance up. He's still calm, still unlike himself, so unlike himself... And his eyes are studying my own. I'll never adjust to a Tweek like this.

"Tweek…I'm sorry." I finally say.

"You don't really have to apologize." He responds to me and I look at him blankly.

"I told Stan I couldn't stand a thing about you, you think I lied about wanting to be friends, you think I dragged you along for my own sick enjoyment and now you're saying I don't have to apologize?" I ask wondrously.

"If you really didn't like me, you wouldn't have been trying so hard to say you were sorry to me. Especially given the way I was acting around you for days. Besides, you're teaching me how to swing in a place that's always just been for you. People don't do that for people they hate right?"

"Then… we're okay?" I ask and Tweek nods.

"But I do have one question."

"Go ahead." I nod at him.

"Why did you have to say that anyway? What had Stan said before?" He cocks his head to the side in curiosity and I look off, as if I'm trying to remember. Of course I fucking remember. Stan had been asking if I had a thing for Tweek and I snapped, denying it all, as harshly as I could. But I can't tell him that. Yet, I don't want to lie about it.

"I'd rather not get into that." I say to him and pray he accepts that answer and wont pry for anything more. I let out an internal sigh of relief when he nods and looks ahead at the still open snowy area.

"We should get home," Tweek says. "It's starting to get lighter out."

When I glance at the sky I see that he's right. Tweek hops off his swing and we start to make our way back to town. The cold walk back is in as much silence as the one coming up here. Even though everything is supposed to be right between us again, I feel like something is off, but I don't know how to explain it to Tweek.

I walk him back to his house, and watch as he unlocks the door, making sure that he's able to get into his house. I say my goodnight, and that I'll see him tomorrow in school. Walking back down his walkway, I still get the feeling of something not being quite right. When I feel his hand rest on my shoulder I turn around and look sat him.

"Um," he starts his sentence. "I, well, I…" the stutter has definitely returned and I can't help but smile and wait and watch for him to spit out whatever's on his mind. He gasps in my face, but I don't get to learn why he gasped as he looks away and tries his luck with his sentence again.

"I know I shouldn't but I, ergh, Jesus, I can't believe that I'm," he stops in the middle of his sentence to sigh. "I shouldn't," he begins again. "But I do."

"You do what?" I ask, the smile on my face being replaced by my confusion.

"I still love you," he mumbles, but it's something I can't help but hear perfectly.

"Oh," is the only word I can manage. As I try to think of something more than just one word to say I feel the abrupt pressure and slight wetness of a kiss on my cheek just as I see Tweek sprint into his house, almost slamming the door shut.

I don't know how long I stay staring at his front door, but at some point I reach my hand to touch my cheek. The one he kissed. I realize what seems so off about this whole situation. Even though Tweek is stuttering again, his twitching has yet to return.

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_You can see that I didn't just go downstairs to tell Kenny to go away. I was going to, I really was, I was just going to close the door on him but I ended up hurting him on accident. Somehow that led to us walking, in the middle of the night no less! And I wasn't in the least bit frightened. Mostly because I was too sad at the time to care. Kenny lead us to his park, the one where I saw him swing that one time in the middle of the night. He tried to teach me how to swing and for awhile I completely forgot why I wasn't even talking to him. I still can't swing, but he says it takes practice. Anyway… Kenny apologized Journal. He actually apologized, but I wouldn't accept it._**

**_After everything he did tonight, I know he doesn't really hate me, though I still want to know why he said those things in the first place, but I didn't want to pry. I could tell he didn't want me to either. After we were done talking we walked back together and you won't believe what I did! I still can't believe I did it, I don't know what came over me._**

**_Jesus! It was so embarrassing that I wasn't able to face him afterward, but I'm still smiling about it even now! I KISSED Kenny! He didn't kiss me, I kissed him. Not on the lips of course, no way, just on the cheek but I did it and that's the point! I wonder how he feels about it… I know we always say that we're friends but I wanted to stop being his friend a long time ago._**

**_I even told him I loved him again too! I really don't know what came over me tonight, or this morning I guess is more correct. It must have been all that time moping and not being around him when I still wanted to be even though he hurt me. Tomorrow I have to face him, oh Jesus why did I kiss him?_**

…_**maybe it's because he smiled at me again, but this time it was the best one yet. It was soft and real, and it was for me.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

**End **of chapter **12welve

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AN: **This chapter was going to be longer but I got tired of having you all wait for one. Thanks for all the reviews from the last chapter! It made me oh so happy! I realize Tweek forgives Kenny rather quickly, maybe too quickly? But I didn't see Tweek holding a grudge as long as Kenny was sincere with his apology, and he is. Please read and review!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	13. Admiration

**AN: **I apologize in advance for the typos and bad grammar. This was written over a week period, and when I do that there are four times as many mistakes.

* * *

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
XIII. Admiration

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_I haven't been able to fall asleep. What was I thinking the other night! Kissing Kenny on the cheek! How am I going to face him! Why did I do that! Oh Jesus, I can't do this, I cant go to school. What will I say to him? What will he say to me! What if I made him angry? What if he didn't like it and he hates me again? I mean, I know he never really hated me to begin with but what I did… Oh Jesus…_**

_**Okay, I'm back, I had to breathe into my paper bag. This could be the worst day ever if Kenny is mad at me. And since he apologized what does this mean? Should I sit with him at lunch even if he doesn't invite me over? Will he invite me over, or will he pretend not to see me?**_

**_Mom says I have to go to school now. Dang._**

_**Your friend,**_

_**Tweek**_

"God damn, I hate these early morning student council meet-, What's wrong with him?" I faintly hear Kyle ask Stan as we meet Kyle outside the Councils office.

"I don't know. He was like this when I picked him up this morning. I picked him up like usual, only for once he was waiting outside for me, which is weird. Then he barely muttered a hello to me before sitting down and not saying anything else the entire ride to school."

"..Is it his dad?"

"I don't think so. He doesn't look traumatized or anything, he looks… confused or something."

I feel Kyle turn to look at me, "Kenny what's going on?" I hear him ask me. I take that moment to look at Kyle, to really look at him.

"I apologized to Tweek."

Stan and Kyle exchange looks. "Did he not accept it?" Stan wonders, but I shake my head.

"No, he did." I say. "He shouldn't have but he did."

Kyle starts to rub my back slightly, a gesture I wouldn't have expected from him. Stan steps a little closer to me so I'm forced to look at him, the same way I did for Kyle. "Then what is it Kenny? You're starting to scare us." He asks and Kyle nods in agreement.

"When," I start. "When I walked him back home, when I was about to leave he kissed me."

I can tell neither of them was expecting that. "He kissed you, Tweek kissed you?" Stan demands.

"On the cheek," I think to add.

"Oh." He says and I hear both of them sigh in relief.

Something goes off in my head, and I step away from Kyle's soothing touch. "You guys sound relieved." I point out, snapping myself out of my own daze.

I start to get annoyed when I see them exchange yet another look. "It's nothing against you Kenny," Kyle starts.

"But you don't really want Tweek to get attached to you right?" Stan finishes.

"You said it yourself, that you can't see yourself being with someone like him." Kyle begins again and as I open my mouth to retort he raises a hand to stop me. "Let me finish." He says. "I know you didn't mean it as harsh as what Tweek overheard, but some of it is valid isn't it? And besides Kenny… Tweek isn't like your other…" Kyle stops for a minute; I take this chance to intervene.

"Isn't like my other what? My other fuck toys? Is that what you were going to say Kyle?"

He sighs, "That isn't what I was going to say at all."

"But that's what you were thinking isn't it?" I can't believe him; I can tell he was thinking that exact thing. I look over at Stan; the same look is in his eyes. "You think the same thing he does, doesn't you?" I accuse Stan. Instead of backing down like Kyle has Stan stares me back in the eye.

"It has crossed our minds; I'm not going to lie. Tweek is getting really attached to you; he thinks he loves you for god's sake Kenny! You know you're not going to be able to love him back!"

I step back to glare at the both of them. This is not the behavior I expected from my best friends. "Since when do either of you even care what happens to Tweek?"

"Since we had to eat lunch with him for the weeks you were sick. We got to know him Kenny, and ignoring the twitching and stuttering he's a not a half bad guy and we like him. We don't want to see him get hurt." Stan continues.

I turn my eyes back to Kyle, "you're the one that said that if Tweek could get the guy he cared about then he ought to go for it."

Kyle completely avoids my eyes and looks to Stan for guidance, he merely shrugs.

I start to take a few steps away from them, "I can't believe you two." I mutter. "Who even said what I felt about that kiss? Did I say I liked it, or anything of it? Maybe I fucking felt repulsed by it."

Kyle cocks his head to the side and shakes his head, "but you weren't were you? Surprised maybe, but the look on your face, the one Stan thought was confusion, it was assurance wasn't it? You know how you feel about Tweek don't you?"

_Do you?_

I say nothing.

Stan widens his eyes slightly; "do you really lo-" Kyle cuts him off by raising his hand across his chest, as he continues to look at me, and I stare back at him. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Stan looking back and forth at us. When Kyle drops his arm he averts his eyes.

"I only wanted to be sure Kenny, he doesn't need to be treated like another day of the week."

I understand. I do, and Kyle doesn't know it, but he's made me realize something. Even if I do… feel something for Tweek, it could just be in passing, which he doesn't deserve. I give him a small weak smile, "us and blondes." I say to him.

"Yeah, but you have a chance with yours." He says smiling back with a glint of sadness in his eyes. A faint rose color tint rises in his cheeks when Stan steps in front of him.

"Blondes? As in plural? You like a blonde too and you didn't tell me, but you told Kenny?" He asks appalled.

I take this as my cue to leave. I hear Kyle's protests, and just when I turn the corner to the hallway where my first class is I hear Stan's loud voice of disbelief exclaim, "Butters!"

"Stan not so loud!" Kyle retorts back, just as loud as I open the door to the classroom. I'm smiling to myself, but it falters when I see a group of uniformed police in the front of our classroom.

The entire classroom is whispering amongst themselves, and I immediately make my way to my seat and lean over to Token and Wendy, "what's going on?" I ask.

Both seem to have forgotten our past histories and include me in their whispering. "It's got to do with that list in the smoker's bathroom." Token says.

"The police are trying to figure out who is responsible, so they're questioning people who use it often." Wendy adds and I lean back in my chair.

_That means you are going to be questioned._

Yeah, thanks I know.

_They might find out you added Cartman's name._

Even if they do, I had nothing to do with the other names. I've got solid alibis just like Kyle said ages ago.

_That doesn't make you less suspicious._

It does. Doesn't it…? I have no clue. Eventually Kyle, along with the rest of the class file in. Kyle takes his seat besides me, and I fill him in. The earlier events of the morning forgotten for the time being. I even ignore Tweek as I; along with everyone else stare ahead at our teacher for explanations.

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_I haven't had the chance to talk to Kenny today. But it's because the police are here questioning people about that stalkers list. I'm so relieved I'm not on it; I don't know how the people who are on it are dealing with it. I'd be a wreck. Though… the people on the list aren't very nice, but they don't deserve to be hit by cars and stuff!_**

**_That's why Cartman hasn't been at school lately; it's because he's on it and has to stay home where it's safe and where he can be watched. _**

**_Journal! The police just called Kenny in to question him! It must be because he always uses the bathroom the list is in. I know he wouldn't actually do anything to those guys; he doesn't even have a car. But, Kyle looks a little concerned, why would he look that way?_**

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

.o.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**They've been with Kenny for over a half an hour. What could they be asking him about? The periods about to end and I'll have to leave without knowing what happened! Wait, the doors opening, I'll get back to you!**_

_**Your friend, **_

_**Tweek**_

When I walk back into the classroom with the officers that question me, they mention to the teacher that they want to talk with Kyle again. They had already talked with him before me. He practically leaps from his chair and rushes toward us when he's called out. The officers huddle us outside and glance at Kyle.

"We just want to make sure that Kenny was at your house these days Kyle." Officer Barbrady asks, holding out a pad of paper to Kyle with a bunch of scribbled dates on them.

Kyle quickly glances over the dates and takes a second to think before nodding. "Yeah, he was. My parents can even vouch for him. He stayed over for dinner a few times, and the other days my little brother and Stan can tell you he was with us. A few of those days he was sick though."

"So we were told by his mother. Okay, thanks Kyle that was all." Barbrady turns to look at me. "Now Kenny you know you shouldn't have added Eric's name right?"

I nod obediently, "are you going to tell him?" I ask. Barbrady and a few of the other officers glance at each other.

"We think it's better to avoid the drama _that_ would cause."

Kyle and I can't help but smirk a little, "thanks." I tell them. They nod and start to make their way to the next classroom, but Barbrady stops and leans over to whisper to Kyle and I. "That and most all of us think Eric had this one coming," when he stands back up he clears his throat. "Have a good afternoon boys."

"Bye Officer Barbrady," Kyle and I respond in unison.

Kyle is about to question me when the bell rings throughout the school, signaling the end of first period. Once our class is out of the room they surround the two of us, firing questions about what was asked, and what we said. From the corner of my eye as I tell people what happened with Kyle's assistance I spot Tweek on the outside of the mob. When I try to excuse myself from the circle, I get pushed back into the middle, questions still being aimed at me.

"Do they have any suspects?" Someone asks.

I sigh in defeat; I won't be leaving this crowd till they get their answers. I shake my head, "at least not that they're telling us." As I scan my eyes over the crowd as they take in that piece of information, muttering to each other, my eyes lock with Tweeks. He looks nervous, but I give him a nod of acknowledgement. I want to smile, but knowing what I have to do, I don't think its best.

My eyes are ripped from him when Kyle jabs me in the side. Looking at him questionably he rolls his eyes towards Tweek discreetly. I raise an eyebrow and he nods in response.

"I wonder who's doing this?" He questions loudly, demanding all the attention from the crowd. "I mean, it's got to be someone from school, how else would they get into the bathroom to write that list in the first place?"

As a discussion starts on the possibilities I sink into the crowd and leave, grabbing Tweek by the elbow, dragging him along as I do so. He stumbles behind me, but has the sense not to say anything until we're far enough away from the crowd.

"W-wait, Kenny! Slow down!" He tells me as I continue to drag him. I finally release him when we're by the back gym doors that hardly anyone uses. "What about class?" he exclaims when we hear the bell ending passing time rings.

"I need a cigarette," I tell him. "You can go back in if you want." I know he won't and I don't want him to either, not yet.

He shakes his head, and looks down at his feet, shuffling them, as he twirls his hair with one of his hands. We step outside the doors heading into the fresh air.

I start to pat the sides of my jeans, looking for my pack of cigarettes. I pull them out and extract one of them, before replacing it in my pocket. I start the search for my lighter and curse to myself when I remember I left it on my side table. About ready to toss my cigarette on the ground in annoyance Tweek holds out a plain black lighter.

I stare at him as I light up. "Since when you do smoke?" I ask him exhaling my first puff to the side, so as not to cover him in smoke.

"I don't." He says.

_Good, it's a nasty fucking habit._

"Then why do you have a lighter?" I ask Tweek, ignoring my own inner thoughts.

"Erm," he starts twisting his hair more. When he looks like he might yank it out, I place my free hand over his hand that's doing the pulling. He stops to look at me for a second before shifting his eyes away and pulling his hand down, mine dropping as well. "I- I got one in case, well, in case you ever needed a light. Like now."

_That isn't going to make this easier._

I sigh, and swallow a lump that's starting to form in my throat. I have to be firm in what I'm about to do. I can't back out. "What's your mom think of you having a lighter?" I ask him and he laughs slightly.

_God, what a laugh…you wouldn't think it was the same Tweek from months ago. Its not that nervous laugh, he usually gives. It's kinda cute actually. He finally seems comfortable around me._

Stop. Don't. I can't think like that.

"My mom doesn't know I have one. It was kinda scary buying one. I didn't want to buy one where someone might recognize me and tell my mom, so I went to the town over to this creepy gas station."

_He went through all that hassle, just to get a lighter, just in case he was around you at a time when you didn't have one?_

He shouldn't have done that…

"About that… kiss, Tweek-" I start, wanting to get to the point, before he interrupts me.

"I meant it." He says, not really surprising me. "I did and I liked it, and- and I would do it again, and- and…" He quiets, "and I want to do it again, but I- I'd like to have your permission to do it." Tweek looks closely at me and I take in his entire self.

His hair is a complete mess; his clothes look like he picked them out and put them on in the dark. He stutters, he twitches, even if he isn't now, and for the most part he's a nervous wreck. But god_, God,_ if I don't love him anyway. There's nothing I want to do more than shove him against the door and just… fuck, just smother him with kisses and touch him and… and…

It doesn't matter, because I won't. And I have to tell him.

"I," I sigh, wanting to look away, but he deserves to have my full attention. "I liked it too, okay."

Tweek looks overjoyed and he looks ready to pounce on me and no doubt he will, but I'm going to stop him.

"Even so," those words, those two words stop him. His wide smile falters and his eyes crease together. "We're just friends Tweek, we can only ever be friends."

"But I don't understand…why?" He asks. "If you liked the kiss… then doesn't that mean that you like me more than a friend?" I give him a hard look.

How can he ask me why? This is hard enough, without having to give reasons.

"Why?" I hold up my fingers and point to each one as I talk. "We're from different social classes, despite the spastic behavior you're a good kid and you're good in school." I know I'm not convincing him. "You don't really know me," I go on. "And you don't know the first thing about sex."

That doesn't really matter to me, but I need more reasons for him to find someone better than me. I've been with a lot of people, and a fair share of them I thought I loved for awhile. It became a pattern with me, and I soon discovered that I just loved the way they fucked, I could have cared less about their personality or who they were. I thought I loved even Craig at some point. I just wanted someone to be with so I wouldn't have to deal with life when it got too hard. Throwing them away when I got bored of them wasn't a big deal, I didn't care. But if I did that to Tweek… I'd want to kick my own ass, so I'm going to save myself the trouble and swallow this… this infatuation I have for him, and make him move on.

"I don't care that we're from different classes and if you don't want me to be a good kid or good in school I can fix that Kenny! I want to get to know you, but you won't let me and I can learn all sorts of things about sex." He tells me, without a single stutter.

"Tweek, you wouldn't even know where to go or who to ask!" I state exhaustedly.

"But I can find out!" If I didn't know any better I say he sounded desperate.

"Don't you fucking dare!" I yell at him, surprised by the force in my own voice. This is upsetting me more than I thought it would.

Tweek stares at me in quiet questioning as I walk closer to him, discarding my cigarette, and grab him by the shoulders. "Don't you fucking dare," I repeat. "Stay exactly the way you are. Continue to be at good school, keep being a geek that studies hard. Don't get to know me; I don't want you to get to know me. If you do, it'll change who you are, and what you believe and I don't want that. Stay innocent Tweek, don't learn more about sex than the basics, stay the way you are." I'm practically taking the circulation from his arms, I can tell.

His face scrunches in internal pain, "but…I want to be with you."

I release him, if I don't I might break. "No you don't. You want to explore the idea of being with me. Besides, I'm not even remotely good enough to have you." I turn to walk back inside the school.

"Stop!" He yells at me, which I do. I've never heard Tweek yell, I never thought the stuttering allowed it. "You don't get to do this. Why do you get to decide what's best for me? I know what I want, I'm not dumb Kenny. You don't think I haven't thought this through? You don't think I haven't thought of what my parents would say, of what other people would say?"

"Tweek," I begin, but he cuts me off.

"I'm not done!"

I've never seen him like this, I don't think anyone has. His eyes are on fire and he's shaking again, but I think this is more from anger and frustration than his normal everyday shaking. I wait expectantly for him to go on.

"I just want… I just," He's stopped talking and I see his head moving in closer to mine, his chin arching up slightly toward me.

"Tweek don't," I say softly and only half heartedly.

I'm not even sure that our lips are touching, we're moving so slowly. Tweek suddenly presses further into me and that's when I feel the full intensity of it. My resolve won't stay long, and I want to pull away, but I can't. Rather, I warp an arm around his waist and pull him tighter against me. I can feel a shiver run through him, but I immediately realize it's not a shiver, it's him shaking again. I smile against the kiss, "there's my Tweeker," I murmur into his mouth.

**End **of chapter **13hirteen

* * *

AN: **This was going to come out earlier, but school and work are both being bitches. I hope its okay. A late V-day present! Kisses everyone!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	14. How to Vie

**AN:** I'm trying a different technique with this chapter since it's a big deal for Kenny…

* * *

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
XIV. How to Vie…

**i. strive…**

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. People occasionally are talking to me, asking about the stalker list, but I hear none of them. My mind is completely on Tweek. I see him so much more in the hallways today than I have any other day. I think it's because I'm making more of a conscious effort to seek him out, and no doubt he's doing the same for me.

When I see him in the halls my hormones pick up ten fold, and I usually have to press along and keep walking as I am normally with Stan and Kyle. The one time I'm not I drag him into an unlocked, dark and empty classroom to shove him against a wall and attack his lips. I'm not usually this rough, but everything feels pent up, and Tweek doesn't seem to mind.

As I'm sucking and pulling on his bottom lip slightly, he lets out a little whine that makes me want to do unspeakable things to him. But he's still Tweek, and Tweek has a sense of time, so before I can, he pushes me away gently, but all the same, against my will.

"W-we have to get to, ergh, we have to get to class." He stutters.

"Who fucking cares," I half growl and move back towards his mouth but he stops me.

"Umm, ergh, ah, well… I do?"

I groan and rest my forehead on his shoulder, "goddamn Tweek, ugh, okay fine, we'll go to class."

He smiles at me and as much as a fool as I feel I smile back. I probably resemble a lovesick idiot. Tweek takes my hand and starts to pull me out of the classroom, actually drag me out sounds more appropriate. I really don't want to leave this room.

"K-Kenny come on!" He whines, "We're going to be late!"

I let him continue to pull at me, and I know we have to get going, but I just like the feel of his hands in mine. He has such girl hands. When Tweek manages to pull me outside the classroom, the halls are empty, there aren't even lingering students. We walk side by side, talking idly and I'm well aware that Tweeks left hand is playing with my right hand. It's as if he he's too anxious to just grab it, so instead I grab his.

**ii. struggle…**

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I'm not super sure, but I have to tell someone. I think Kenny and I are a couple! I mean, I think… I don't really know. I kissed him, and I know I made a big deal about kissing him on the cheek before, but guess where I did it this time? The lips! And he didn't push or pull away!**_

_**I got so tingly, and then he held my waist and pushed me closer to him rather than away! Then after that we had to go to our separate classes, but the whole day in school I kept looking for him, and I think he did the same for me too. We never really did anything or said anything to each other in the halls since for the most part he was always with Kyle and Stan, and I don't know if he's told them anything… he probably will soon, and I guess I'll have to tell mom and dad too…**_

_**I don't want to think about that yet.**_

_**Anyway, at one point when we saw each other alone in the hallways he grabbed me, and I wasn't scared, I got really excited, and he pulled me into a classroom and we just kissed. For a really long time, and I got that tingly feeling again and I'm so happy and I felt so happy when we were close.**_

**_There's just one little thing, and its not even little, its smaller than that, its tiny… when we left the room we were holding hands, and I was so giddy and I couldn't wait till someone ran into us to see that I was with Kenny. But then, when we did… when we saw people in the halls I noticed him drop my hand. It's probably not a big deal right? My hand was getting kinda clammy and sweaty so he probably just wanted his hand to breathe…_**

**_You know Journal that was probably it. I wouldn't want to hold a clammy hand._**

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

"Craig said he saw you and Tweek acting funny," Stan tells me, nudging my shoulder annoyingly.

"Stan leave him alone," Kyle says walking back into his living room where the three of us have gathered to catch an after school movie. He tosses two cans of pop to both Stan and I before settling himself down on the overstuffed chair.

"You're not in the least bit curious as to what he meant by that?" Stan asks, raising an eyebrow as he pops open his soda can.

"Of course I am, but Kenny will tell us when he wants too." Kyle retorts.

"Thank you Kyle." I say to him.

"Sure, so what did happen?" He asks and Stan smirks at me, "Because last I saw you, you took off with Tweek when that mob surrounded us about the stalkers list. Then the rest of that day when I saw Tweek nearby neither of you so much as glanced at each other. What'd you do?"

"What did _I_ do! _I_ didn't do anything!" I exclaim.

"Then why does it seem like you and Tweek are ignoring each other?" Stan asks, taking a sip of his drink.

"Are we going to watch this movie or talk about my personal life?"

"Kenny your personal life is ours too, and you're going to tell us anyway, so just spill it now. The movie can wait; we've all see 'Asses of Fire' a million times since we were nine."

I sigh in irritation. Of course I'm going to tell them what's happened up until now but do they have to know me so well? I start filling them in from when Tweek and I left up till the point after school, where I told Tweek I'd stop by his house later on today. I study my friends' reaction when I'm done. Kyle looks a little pleased, but Stan looks unsure.

"What?" I ask him, after he doesn't say anything for a time.

"You like him then, you really like him?"

"Yeah, I do." I tell him quietly.

Stan stares at me for so long that I start to get uncomfortable, I want to avert my eyes, but something tells me it'd be best if I let him do whatever it is that he's doing.

_He's probably seeing if you're full of it._

"What about all the others?" He asks me after awhile.

I know what he means by others, Kyle looks slightly lost but after a few seconds his eyes widen and he nods remembering. The others, all the people I'd fuck for the fun of it. I was on a spree when Tweek ignored me for those past few days. There was a new person everyday, and I loved it when it was happening. But I really only did it so I wouldn't have to think of Tweek.

To image that his ignoring me had affected me that much…

I shake my head at the both of them. "I'm not doing that anymore." I tell them, but they look as if they don't believe me. I guess I understand, as it has been my behavior for almost the majority of my life. "I'm not." I say again.

"So what are you guys now?" Kyle is asking, "is he your boyfriend?"

Stan looks at me curiously as Kyle asks this, and while I want to give a forward answer. I can't, not about something like this. "I don't know," I say with a shrug.

"Does he think you're boyfriends?" Stan asks.

"Probably," I respond. "I mean, its Tweek."

"Yeah," Stan says, sliding further down into the couch. "And you like him, and he loves you. And Kyle likes Butters."

"We're talking about Kenny," Kyle interjects, his slight anger obvious.

"Point being," Stan continues. "Is things aren't what I thought they'd be like. I didn't think Kyle would be gay. And I didn't expect, of all people Kenny would want to be faithful to, for it be Tweek. The one person you're actually going to stop fucking around for is the same person just a few months ago we despised. Its interesting…how things work out." He muses, softly.

Kyle nods, "Kenny it's so hard for anyone to get past your iron outer shell, and here it took Tweek like two months."

I fold my arms, "I haven't told him anything. He overheard my dad yelling at me once, but he doesn't know anything else."

"You'll have to tell him eventually," Kyle says solemnly. "He'll find out on his own if he hangs around you enough."

I cast my eyes at the Broflowski's carpet. "What goes on in my house, stays there. Don't you think he might try to interfere if he finds out? What if calls the cops or something? I don't want to deal with that. I'll be gone soon, I won't have to deal with it anymore."

"But then what about your brother?" Stan asks. "Isn't he the whole reason you're taking all your dads bullshit? Kevin's not getting into any college you want to go to Kenny. He hasn't got the brains or the athletic ability. You're just barely going to slide by getting in, what about him?"

I bite my lip; I had realized this of course. That I'll be leaving my brother with our monster of a father, but I hadn't thought of an alternative on what to do. I refuse to stay at that house longer than I need to, but I can't just abandon him either.

"I'll think of something," I mutter.

"You've been saying that for years, but nothings happened." Stan tells me.

"Well what do you propose?" I ask, my anger starting to erupt as I glare at Stan. "Have you got any fucking ideas Stan? Because I haven't been able to think of any without getting the police involved," I say just as he opens his mouth to interrupt and suggest just that.

"I'll never understand why you won't tell them." Kyle says quietly. "No one's going to blame you, some are going to think what you're doing is brave and admirable."

"No." I say firmly, "they won't, not after it's been so long, people will just think I'm sort of sick fuck that enjoys it."

"I'll tell someone." Stan says slightly.

My head immediately whips over to look at him. "You guys said you never would. You said you'd let me deal with it."

"And its getting out of control, you know, I can't even believe I agreed to keep this a secret. What sort of friends does this make us Kenny?"

I'm so angry, I want to lean over and hit Stan. I won't, but I want too. Instead I stand up and make my way to leave. "Go ahead Stan, tell them, but I'll deny it, and so will my dad. Not to mention I'll never talk to your ass again."

"You're being irrational Kenny!" Stan yells at me, standing up and following behind me. "You've been so wrapped up in this cover up for so long that you're starting to think it's a good idea, well it's not and it never has been. And then all this sex with these random people you don't know, every day, all the time, to pass time, to take your mind off of going home, its not working is it Kenny?" Stan's raising his voice and from my side vision I can see Kyle standing wearily from his chair.

"When's the last time you've been to a hospital to get checked out? How many diseases do you think you have!"

I spin around, expecting my fist to come in contact with Stan's face; instead it makes contact with Kyle's. I gasp, and I can hear Stan's as well.

"Kyle, why did you-" Stan and I start but stops us from finishing.

"Are you two done?" He asks. "Feel better hitting me Kenny?"

I look off and I see that Stan has done the same.

"Stan, stop badgering him about it. You know Kenny is still clean," he says to him looking in his direction. His head turns to look at me next, "for now." He finishes, "but you're done right? With the play time sex?" I nod silently, still not looking at him. "And Kenny you know Stan's bugging the shit out of you because he cares. We both do, and soon, very soon you are going to have to tell someone what's going on at your house. You can't protect your brother from something like this, it isn't your job. Your dad should be locked up with the other sick perv's. I'm happy that you were able to confide in us but I'm disappointed in myself and I know Stan is too, for agreeing to keep it between the three of us. Good friends don't let their friends get hurt like this. It's fucked you up in so many ways Kenny and you know it. Now, we're all going to sit down, I'm going to grab a pack of ice for my jaw and we're going to sit here, and watch 'Asses of Fire' before you have to go meet Tweek."

Stan and I nod, and make our way back to the couch as Kyle nods, and turns heading back into the kitchen. As we sit awkwardly beside each other, I sigh.

"Sorry." I say to him.

"Yeah, me too, I know it's been hard." He replies.

Kyle walks back in with the ice pressed slightly against his cheek, as he sits down on the couch beside me, instead of the chair. He leans over to the side table to grab the remote and turns on the television. Going to the right channel, we watch the TV switch to DVD mode, and the loud obnoxious opening tunes of 'Asses of Fire' fill the air.

**iii. contend…**

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I'm so excited! Today Kenny is going to come over to my house and we're going to… well, actually I don't know what we're going to do, but since I'll be with Kenny it shouldn't matter. **_

**_I'm starting to wonder when I should tell mom and dad that we're together, I mean, they don't have to know right away that I'm gay. And I don't even know that I'm gay, I just love Kenny. Does that make me gay? Because I don't look at other guys like I look at him and I don't think of other guys like how I think of Kenny. It's only Kenny, so maybe I'm not really gay. Then again, I haven't really been interested in girls, but I'm still assuming that's because they're not interested in me. I wonder how they would take it… They've never said anything was wrong with gay people, but parents tend to change when they realize their kid in particular is gay. _**

_**Like I heard Craig's dad had a huge fit and almost beat him up, and he was supposedly okay with gay people… but that could just be one of those rumors that floats around town.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

KTKTKTKT

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_I'm starting to feel like Kenny doesn't really want to be with me the way I want to be with him. Every time I started to try and start a conversation he'd only want to kiss me and touch me and stuff. And I liked it at first, but I'm starting to see that always happens. And when I pulled away he looked really annoyed at me. It doesn't seem like he wants to talk to me at all. But I don't want to be like another Craig for him, I've heard about what they always did together, what they only did._**

**_I don't know what I should do… maybe I'll ask around, and see if other people have had this problem with him. I think he and Craig are still on good terms, and I'm pretty sure that Kenny and Butters may have had a thing at one point. I'm not quite sure… And he still doesn't hold my hand or anything when we're at school or in public._**

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

KTKTKTKT

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_Talked with Craig today. He told me lots of stuff about him and Kenny. None of it was really good. All Craig knew about him was how good in, um, how good in bed he was. Can't believe I just wrote that… but it's what Craig said. I never knew that he had fallen for Kenny the way I have. Craig said that he always tried to talk with Kenny, but that he never seemed very interested in the conversation. _**

_**Butters said something just like that. He said that every time he tried to get Kenny to talk about himself Kenny would close up and sometimes snap at him, telling him it wasn't any of his business, and Butters said that after that Kenny sort of made himself busy all the time so Butters couldn't talk to him.**_

**_When I asked other people, it's always the same thing. Kenny never talks about himself, he doesn't like conversation, and all he wants is sex. Is that how it's going to be for me? I don't want to be just another Craig or Butters to him! I thought he said he liked me! But, but… the others said Kenny said the same thing to them._**

**_So, I don't, I don't know where I stand. Am I just another guy for him to play with and then get rid of when I start to ask too many questions? It hurts to think of that. I want to be with him all the time and I do like kissing and touching and just being held by him but if it's only so he can get in my pants… then I'm better off alone right Journal? The thing is he always seems to be genuine when he's around me, and I think that for the most part I make him happy they way he does for me._**

**_I don't really know and I don't know what to do about it. But I do know that no matter, no matter what he says to me I won't let him get as far as he wants. I only want to do it with someone who loves me. I've always thought that, and Kenny has never said he's loved me, even though I say it all the time now. Maybe that's what's making him uncomfortable, and why he won't talk to me? I think I saw on Oprah or something about not saying the 'l' word too much… Okay. That's what I'll do, I won't say it so much._**

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

Something's wrong. I notice that right away when Tweek lets me into his house. I came over to have dinner with his family tonight, practically the millionth time since we've been together, or whatever it is that we are.

Usually when he lets me in, he gives me this tight, bone crushing hug, this wide twitchy smile and kisses me quickly and sloppily before his parents walk in on us. I'm pretty sure he has yet to mention to his parents that he's in love with a guy, but that doesn't bother me. I could care less if he decides he ever wants to tell anyone. As far as I know, Kyle and Stan know we have a thing going on. We act pretty normal around each other in school, even though it kills me not to touch him every five seconds.

But its no ones business but ours what we are and what we do together anyway.

Instead of his usual greeting, he gives me a normal smile, but minus the death hug and fish kiss. When he starts to walk off, letting me close the front door, I reach ahead and grab his hand. He turns to face me curiously as I look at him funny.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Y-Yeah, why?" He questions.

I turn my head slightly, and narrow my eyes a little, looking at him closely. "No reason I guess," I resolve.

Tweek turns away, "do, do you have yo-your bags?"

"Just the one on my back." I say. Tonight we're having a sleepover. Which was entirely his parent's idea. Since they assume Tweek and I are such great buddies they've been harking me to stay over the night, and for the most part I've refused for obvious reasons of not being able to control myself if left alone with Tweek in a bedroom. Finally though, they started to look concerned about my refusals, so I caved.

"Kenny!" Mrs. Tweak walks into the room and gives me a hug. Something I'm almost used to from her, not quite though and I give her an awkward one back. "Is that your stuff?"

I nod, and she smiles wide, taking it from me, "well I'll put that in Tweeks bedroom for you then. Why don't you two head downstairs to the den, and I'll get on ordering a pizza!"

"Thanks, sounds good." I say and watch her walk upstairs.

_Damn, she looks overly happy_.

She does and as I question her sanity Tweek speaks up.

"I've ne-never had anyone, ergh, anyone spend the n-night before. So, um, my mom's a little excited."

"I can tell," I muse and look at him with a smile. "Are we going downstairs?" I question.

He nods, jumping around slightly, and I follow down the stairs in the kitchen. The Tweeks den is like any other in South Park, half den, half basement. To one side it's covered in boxes stacked neatly on top of each other, and on the other side is a TV, couches, chairs, and a small coffee table. All arranged tastefully, just how I imagined it would be. I plop myself on the couch and watch as Tweek does the same.

Something _is_ wrong. Instead of practically laying on top of me, he sits on the other side of the couch, being almost careful to not touch me. I stare at him for a moment in wonder. He's twitching around like a leaf ass usual, his eyes blinking more than the average person, but he's not acting normal.

After sitting in silence, I touch his arm slightly, sending him jumping and shrieking up.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I ask him, ignoring his flinch from my swear.

"N-Nothing," he mutters.

"Bullshit Tweek, you're not telling me something. What is it for christssake?"

"I, um, well…" He rubs his arms slightly completely dodging my looks. "C-can we talk?"

I raise my eyebrow in confusion, "isn't that what we're doing right now?"

"That's, that isn't what I meant. I mean, ev-every time I try to find out more about you, you don't let me and sometimes I don't think you, ergh, um, I don't think you care what I have to say most of the time…" He trails off on the last part but I heard perfectly well what he said.

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?" I ask him quietly.

"I-I, oh Jesus, I talked with C-Craig and B-Butters and some other people about you. And, and they said you're always like this, and that you only wanted them for, for," he pauses to breath, "for s-s-sex and stuff…"

_Oh. Don't blow up._

Of course I fucking am.

**iv. fight…**

"You asked Craig, Butters and who the fuck knows who else, about me?" I watch him flinch and shift further way from me. "If you had any questions, you ask me, you come to me, not them."

"I- I've tried!" He argues, "b-but you never, you always change the subject, or ignore me all together! A-And you only want to do stuff, you never want to talk!" He's starting to gain more confidence as his stutter begins fades away.

"Half the time I- I wonder if you're even listening to me when I talk! I mean, I like what we do most of the time. I like the kisses and touches, but if we're not doing any of that we're watching TV or doing something else where you don't have to talk to me. And I tell you all the time that I love you, and you never say it… I mean you don't have to tell me if you don't feel like that, but I feel like this is all physical for you. I don't want to be another one of your Craig's. I want to mean more to you than that."

I hear all of what he's saying and I knew eventually he'd probably question my verbal distance, but for him to consult others like my past fuck buddies? That, I can't and won't deal with. We are not going to have this conversation until I am good, and fucking ready for it. Rather than answer him I turn away and stare at the blank television set, too angry to say anything to him.

"K-Kenny!" I hear him protest, but I refuse to hear any more of it. I don't need this right now, today wasn't one of my better days, not with my dads usual shit. When I came here I expected to relax and have a bit of fun. If I wanted to be bitched at I would have stayed home and dealt with it there. In fact… I stand. I'm leaving.

I hear his sigh, as I stand and make my way back toward the stairs. I'm stopped when the door at the top of the stairs open. Mr. Tweak is standing there with a box of pizza.

"Ah, Kenny! I was just coming down to give you boys the pizza and I brought some iced coffee to go with it!"

He must see the expression on my face, and his excitement drops, "something wrong?" He peeks over the staircase to look at Tweek. "Is everything alright with you two, Kenny you're not leaving are you?"

_Yeah, you are, slide past and go home._

I shake my head at him.

_Oh, honestly…_

"No, Mr. Tweak I'm not going home. I was just coming up to use the bathroom." I lie to him. I don't look at Tweek and walk around Mr. Tweek to head to the bathroom. I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Why can't I just go home?

After awhile, I leave and talk with Mrs. Tweak briefly in the kitchen before heading back down to the den. When I open the door, I hear the loud voices of a commercial, and I see Tweek watching the television, with the pizza box still closed on the coffee table. As I make my way back down, I expect him to say something to me, but he doesn't. He doesn't even look at me as I sit down where I did before.

As the night wears on, we watch movie after movie, all of them being comedies, none in which either of us laugh. At some point, Tweek turns off the set once one of the movies finishes.

"We should go to bed," he says softly.

I nod, saying nothing and grab the empty pizza box before he can. He looks at me slightly, but doesn't make a sound before I follow behind him upstairs. I dump the box in the trash and we silently make our way up the next flight of stairs to his bedroom. The only sounds are the creaking of the floor boards beneath our feet and the muffled snoring of Tweeks dad.

Going into his room, we see that his parents have set up a place for me to sleep on the floor beside Tweeks bed on an air mattress. Tweek says nothing as he grabs a change of clothes and leaves his room, heading toward the bathroom. I sit on the mattress and listen for the sounds of him getting ready for bed; the toilet flushing, the running of water… when he comes back in, he's changed and I leave for the bathroom to do the same things. As I come back in, the rooms dark. Tossing my clothes in a corner I settle myself on the mattress, huddling under the comforter, looking at Tweeks backside.

His chest is rising and falling, but he's not breathing deep, so I know he's still wide awake like I am. Sighing to myself, I turn so my back is facing his back. Looking at his closed door I think of what he said to me earlier and what Kyle and Stan had said to me days ago.

_You don't have to tell him._

I know.

**v. let go, and decide…**

An hour must have passed by now, and I still can't sleep. "Can I tell you something Tweek?" I ask him suddenly, as my eyes stay open. My voice is pretty quiet, but given the absolute silence it carries well.

There's no response and I should maybe assume that he's asleep by now but I have a feeling he's not, and that he's heard me.

"Remember when I told you that I was my dad's favorite?"

"Yeah," he finally responds. I knew he wasn't asleep.

"I didn't always used to be; in fact I wasn't supposed to be. Dad favored Kevin at first." I stop for a second, when I hear Tweek shift in his bed. I know he's turned to face me.

_He doesn't need to know all this._

I go on when Tweek settles. "I found out he favored him, and I knew what that meant…to be his favorite," I whisper. "Kevin may be the oldest but, he isn't all the way there you know? So I had to look after him like he was the youngest the majority of my life." I stopped to take a deep shaky breath; I never thought I'd be telling this story again to someone new.

"One night, he came home really drunk and pissed too. I don't even know why, I never know why half the time and I bet he doesn't either. Anyway, it was the middle of the night… and his stumbling woke me up so I crawled out of bed to see what the hell was going on. I opened my door to see him just about to go into Kevin's room. He heard my door open and he turned to look at me… I asked him what he was doing, since Kevin had just gotten to sleep. Sometimes it's hard for him to fall asleep because of… his problems…. So I didn't want him woken up because then he'd be a huge pain in the ass.

When he looked at me, I kind of saw this, this glint in his eye. I'd seen it so many times when he hit my mom. An anger, but there was something else in there and I couldn't even believe that I saw it in his eyes. They were lusting, and after my fucking _brother_. I could tell and I knew what he was going to do, I knew what that fucking bastard was going to do to Kevin, as if he isn't messed up enough."

I stop and squeeze my eyes shut, remembering those eyes I saw that night. I wonder if Tweek is still listening, maybe he's even fallen asleep. I wouldn't know because I refuse to look, just in case I meet his eyes.

"After seeing that look in his face and the determination behind them I knew he wasn't going to just stop his intentions just because of a little set back of me coming across him…

Like I said before, he was drunk and somehow I convinced him I was Kevin, as if we look a thing alike." I snort to myself before going on. "The funny thing is Kevin's pissed off as fuck at me because I get all of dad's attention. Fucking messed up isn't it? Like I want that assholes attention, I'm just doing it to save his ass."

"If he knows that why would he be so angry with you?" It's the first time Tweek has talked and I'm a little startled at the sound of his voice. I thought for sure by now that I was talking to his ticking alarm clock and nothing else.

"He doesn't really… know what I'm doing." I admit to Tweek.

"Is that what you meant before when you said that name calling wasn't the worst of what he did to you?" Tweek asks me, and I nod, realizing he can't see me nodding in the dark. There's silence for awhile as he processes everything.

"It isn't that I don't want to talk to you Tweek, it's that I don't usually know how. Telling stuff like this… well, its hard and only Stan and Kyle know. Most of my life I've had this… wall, and I don't like telling people stuff they don't want to hear. No one wants to hear about how someone's dad… how someone's dad…" I trail off with a sigh toward the door.

I want to turn and look at Tweek, to be able to see his face. But I don't think I could handle it if it was filled with a disgusted loathing. That's something I don't need or want to see from someone like him, who I care so much about.

"Not talking to people has been my way of protecting them from knowing about my situation. I don't want to drag others into this crap. I don't."

"…why don't you go to the police? Or tell your mom?" He asks in the darkness.

Who knows. I don't. I should have long ago and years just keep going by.

"At first I thought he'd lay off and stop, but he hasn't. It's just easier to keep it all a secret I guess. At this point, who knows what people will think of me, and what they'll say. I'd rather people blatantly get in my face about it then whisper among themselves like I can't hear."

I tense sharply when I feel someone crawl beside me. I relax when I remember Tweek and turn to look at him. He doesn't look disgusted, or even sympathetic, which can sometimes be worse. Tweek looks a little sad.

"I'm sorry I made you say all that." He says to me.

I shake my head brushing some of his hair out of his face. "I don't want to give you a reason to stop loving me," I say suddenly. "It makes me feel better to know that you do…"

Tweek gives me the saddest smile, and I have to tear my eyes from him before I do something I'll regret later, like cry. I melt into him when I feel him wrap his arms around me, despite how awkward it must be for him. I'm usually the one to hold him, its nice to be the one held.

His radiating warmth starts to make me sleepy and when I close my eyes against his chest I hear him whisper something. I don't acknowledge it, but I heard him and he knows I heard him.

"You're going to tell someone tomorrow okay."

It isn't a question; it isn't a statement or a demand. It sounds more like a decision he's made up for me, and I don't have the stamina to fight him on this one. Tomorrow's a long way off.

At some point during the night when I'm half awake, I faintly hear his door open and a small gasp from someone. I wonder if it's his mom or dad who saw us.

**vi. refuse to fade out…**

**End **of chapter **14ourteen

* * *

AN: **How long will this story be? Not much longer, one, two, three more chapters. I don't decide that, the story sort of does. Then next on my agenda, I'm thinking of a Damien/ Pip story, what do you all think of that? Please R&R, I'm getting more each time, and I really love that everyone loves the story so much.

_Faery Goddyss _


	15. Under the Bridge

**AN: **Sorry that took another century.

* * *

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
XV. Under the Bridge 

I'm woken the next morning by a ray of light piercing through my eyelids. I open my eyes and look over and down at Tweek. Sometime during that night we switched positions, and I'm holding him. One of my arms is over his torso while the other one is laced with one of his. His head's resting against my chest and I can't repress the smile that's forming on my lips as I look at him breathing deeply and soundly. The conversation from last night floods my brain and a slight feeling of dread comes over me. Today is tomorrow, and Tweek wants me to tell someone what I told him. I don't want to think about that quite yet; just for a little while longer I want to enjoy where I am and who I'm with.

I start to get comfortable once more, pulling Tweek just a little closer to me, rubbing his back slightly as I rest my head on the pillow. Just as I'm about to close my eyes again I hear someone clear their throat and I nearly jerk up in surprise when I see Mrs. Tweak. She's sitting on Tweek's desk chair, which is completely out of sight from where I'm laying. I'm about to sit up, but she stands and holds out a hand to stop me.

"We don't want to wake him," she whispers to me.

I'm not sure what to do. Tweek hasn't told his parents about me, but here we are, our limbs twisted together. I wonder what it looks like to an onlooker… I don't want to move from him in case he does stir, but I can't stay the way I am. It's sorta embarrassing with his mom just standing there.

She seems to sense my concerns and she gives me a smile, a tight one, but a smile none the less.

"You know Kenny," she starts.

_Fuck, does she really want to have a conversation like this, right here?_

"I've been watching you boys most of the night," she continues on.

I vaguely remember a gasp I heard earlier this morning. It must have been her that walked in on us. "Mostly just out of shock I suppose," she murmurs to herself. "We never thought Tweek would find anyone… with how he is. He didn't seem to ever really have a lot of friends, and we are aware that he gets picked on in school… but then you showed up and… well it had crossed our minds that you were with him, strictly because of that partnered project. But then you stayed around long after that…"

I continue to stare at her silently. There isn't really anything that I can think of saying right now.

"I suppose I knew what was going on at the time. You were around so much, and Tweek was…different. He seemed so much happier, he was glowing and I knew it was because of you. A mother knows her children Kenny, very well, often more than they realize."

She stops talking when we both watch as Tweek shifts in his sleep. Mrs. Tweak was speaking softly but she lowers her voice further once Tweek has stopped moving and buries his face further in my chest.

"He loves you, you know…"

I redden, and I'm not able to nod so I hope she can see that I do know through my eyes.

"Well then," she says as she smoothes the dress she's still in from last night. "I suppose I'll go downstairs and start breakfast."

I hesitate to say anything as Mrs. Tweak starts to make her way across the room. I still really don't know at this point, but I have to say something. "I care about him…" I say suddenly, stopping her in her tracks. She turns to look at me as I find more to say. "A lot, but I…"

"I understand," she smiles again at me, and this time it isn't forced, its natural and relaxes me.

_I wonder if she really understands that I can't drop the 'l' word as easily as Tweek…_

She finally leaves after darting her eyes to her son and then back at me, closing the door firmly behind her. I let out an exhale; I didn't realize I was holding my breath in. Going back to sleep is completely out of the question now that I'm wide awake, rather I stay on the air mattress and wait for Tweek to wake up.

When the smell of breakfast starts to waft through the room, Tweek stirs and he slowly opens his eyes, shifting his body against mine so he can look at me.

"Morning," I say quietly.

"Morning," he mutters back, his voice sleepy.

I'm debating whether or not I ought to tell Tweek that his mom knows about us, but I decide against it. This is probably something he should confront his parents about when he's ready.

Tweek sits up slowly, disentangling himself from me and rubbing his eyes in order to further wake himself. When he's done he scratches his hair slightly and then lets out a long yawn. I watch him, fascinated at how cute he looks doing an obvious morning routine. I prop myself up on my elbow waiting for his yawn to end before lifting myself up and kissing him briefly, throwing him off guard. He stares at me blankly, and I take his blank look as a sign of permission, and lean in to give him a few more innocent pecks.

I can hear the soft sigh of contentment from him as I leave a trail of kisses down his chin, neck and ending at his collarbone.

"Come on," I softly, moving away from him "Your mom's got breakfast ready." Tweek gives me a strange look before standing up with me, adjusting his clothes.

"K-Kenny, ab-about last night," he starts with his twitching beginning for the day. "You, you don't really have to t-tell anyone, um, if you'r-re not ready."

"It's okay, I will. Just… uhmm," I looks away from his piercing eyes. "I was wondering if you'd like… be around when I did it?"

"Y-egh you'd want me to?" I hear him ask, and I nod, still without glancing at him.

I jump slightly when I suddenly feel him wrap his arms around my waist. He rests his chin on my shoulder and I calm down. It's not that I'm not used to him touching me, I'm just not used to him suddenly touching me.

"Okay." He whispers in my ear. I turn my head slightly trying to get a good look at him, which I can't given our awkward position. When Tweek gives me a kiss on the check, I pull away from his grasp so I can look at him. To me, he's amazing. Standing in front of me, jumping like the caffeine addict he is, always looking somewhat unsure of himself around me.

I reach a hand out to touch the side of his face, lifting the other, holding him in my hands before leaning in to give him a harder kiss. A kiss that says thank you, and says what I can't find the words to say just yet. I hope he can feel it.

We pull away from each other when we hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Someone knocks on his door, "Tweek? Kenny?" Comes Mrs. Tweak's quiet voice.

"Yeah, we're up mom." Tweek tells her, and I can feel her hesitate at the door, before turning to leave.

"Breakfast is ready," she says, retreating back downstairs.

"Y-you go on ahead," Tweek says to me. "I want to… do something first."

I'm curious, but don't ask, as I leave the room, closing it behind me, just noticing as I peek through the crack in the door as he sits down at his desk and opens that orange notebook I noticed a long time ago.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I've learned some horrible things about Kenny last night. He told me why he avoids talking about himself. His dad does all sorts of things to him. Much worse than name calling. I wish I hadn't been so mad at him for not telling me, I wouldn't want to tell people that either. At the same time I'm really happy that he confided in me, it means that he trusts me with his secret, something I appreciate more than anything.**_

**_And today we're going to tell the right people all about what Kenny's dad has done to him. I hope he'll be okay. If not, at least he has me._**

_**Your friend, Tweek

* * *

**_**AN:** A measly 3 pages, meh. Sorry everyone, I'll make the next one uber long! I just want to think a little bit more about how I'm going to approach the next last chapters. Please read and review! They keep me going!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	16. Pandora's Box

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
XVI. Pandora's Box

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Sorry I'm back so soon, but I just realized something. If Kenny is going to be big about this and tell everyone his biggest secret, maybe I should do the same. That way he can know that I really am beside him.**_

_**I just hope this wont backfire.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

…**_okay I'm back. You know, maybe I won't tell them. Telling them is a big deal. What if they can't accept that I'm gay? I don't even know if I'm gay… but they already like Kenny, I think, so maybe it won't even be a big deal. Yeah, it won't. I'm going._**

…_**I just thought of something else. What if they react really badly to it? I've heard those stories of parents reacting violently to their own kids when they found out they liked other guys. What if… what if my dad hits me or something? Or even worse, what if they're ashamed? Or disappointed in me? This is too nerve racking! I can't do it! I can't! I'm not going to! I changed my mind!**_

…**_but I have to eventually right? I can't hide from them forever, and I think Kenny would be really happy if I did tell them. Then he would know that I really do love him. And my parents love me too, they probably would only want me to be happy. They've hardly ever even raised their voices at me! I've got really good parents, understanding parents! Okay, I'm ready. I can do it, I know I can!_**

…**_what if they want to send me to one of those camps? You know those camps to un-gay people? I've heard of those! Or what if they want me to see someone? Like a shrink or something, and they make me take a bunch of weird pills! Or Jesus, even worse… Journal… what if they say I can't see Kenny anymore? That would be the worst of it…but do you know what? I wouldn't care. If they said I couldn't see him anymore I'd never talk to them ever again. I'd run away and move in with Kenny… well maybe not Kenny with his dad and all, but someone else. Kyle maybe, I bet he'd let me move in with him. Actually perhaps Stan, Kyle's mom really scares me. Alright, that's what I'll do. If mom and dad don't accept me for who I am and try to break Kenny and me apart I'll leave and never look back._**

_**Here goes nothing...**_

When Tweek finally joins me and his parents at the breakfast table Mrs. Tweak has already set a plate loaded with food on my plate. To keep myself from drooling I watch Tweek take the seat beside me. He gives me a smile and from the corner of my eye I can see his mom watch us. I find his hand and give it a squeeze under the table as I smile back at him.

I start to notice that his eyes are shifting back and forth between me and his parents. I think he's trying to tell me something and I raise my eyebrows in question at him as his dad pours him a mug of coffee.

"So how was the night boys?" Mr. Tweak asks us as he picks up the morning paper. I tear my eyes from Tweek to give his dad a warm smile.

"It was… fun. I liked it." I tell him.

Tweek nods in agreement as he grabs his coffee mug with both shaking hands taking a slow sip.

"Good, good," Mr. Tweak mutters behind the newspaper.

"Did you want a cup of coffee Kenny?" Mrs. Tweak asks me as she sits down at the table, handing Tweek his own plate of food.

For once, I can actually take up her offer on coffee, deciding I'll need it for what's going to happen today. I'd rather have hard liquor, but coffee will have to do. I can't very well ask her for a couple shots of vodka, "yeah, thanks." I tell her, holding out a mug.

As she fills it, I start to realize Tweek is spazzing out beside me. Clearly its something he always does but it seems different than usual. I know I'm right because even his parents pick up on it.

"Tweek honey is something wrong?" His mom asks and Tweek practically falls out of his chair from being startled.

I quickly grab at him before he falls down and look at him quizzically as I right him and the chair back in place. He mutters thanks to me and grabs a bit of his hair and starts to twist it avidly, avoiding my eyes.

Mr. Tweak has even lowered his paper from his eyes as we all stare at the current state he's in. "Tweek?" his dad questions and Tweek looks up at the three of us. I'm starting to get a little worried; he hasn't twisted his hair in a long time.

"I, ergh, uhnn," he starts. "Well, i-its just that…oh Jesus, oh God…-"

"For fucks sake, spit it out, you're scaring me," I mutter to him, hoping his parents didn't hear.

He rubs both his hands in his hair as he looks down and suddenly, he whips his head up and practically yells, "I'm gay! A-And I love Kenny, and we're going out!"

I'm not sure what his parent's immediate response is, and I never do get to find out because once Tweek's made his declaration we all watch him faint. Mr. Tweak catches him before he crashes onto the table and slowly rests him down on it.

"He tends to get himself worked up over the strangest things," Tweeks dad says before going back to his morning paper.

Maybe we should all be a little more shocked that he freaked himself out enough to faint, but from the looks on his parents face it would seem he does this often enough. Mrs. Tweak gives me a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"He'll be roused in a second Kenny, there's no need to look so worried."

But I am. Just a little bit. Not so much because he fainted, but because of what he said and the reaction he got from his parents. I know Mrs. T doesn't care, I've established that this morning when we had that talk. But Tweeks dad hasn't said anything of it, he sounds as if maybe he hadn't heard Tweek at all. He just went back to reading his damn paper.

I take a sip of my coffee, and after I do I try not to gag. It tastes like complete shit. Setting it down I'm relieved when I see Tweek start to shift. I watch as he raises his head up slowly and look around. He looks a little out of it, a little confused.

"Welcome back sweetie," his mom says with a smile.

"W-what happ- oh God!" He says remembering. "I said it didn't I?" He questions looking to me. I nod to him. "But, but then," he looks at his parents.

"Calm down Tweek, I'm fine with it. Kenny and I had talked this morning." His mom says looking at me for verification and I nod again.

He looks at me confused and I clarify for him. "Your mom found us last night sorta… entangled in each other."

He squeaks and looks at his father who's still behind his paper, turning the page. "D-D-Dad?" He mutters out.

"Come now son, you act as if its startling news. Of course you're gay." He says and I hide my smile in my mug, before scorning at it recalling its god awful taste.

"What!" Both Tweek and his mom exclaim together. "You knew?"

"I've known for ages." He lowers his paper again to look at his son and wife. "Evidently before either of you did it would seem. In those years I've had time to adjust to the idea. Honestly though, you straight Tweek? It's laughable almost when I think about it. Really, whatever makes you happy son. Now let me read my paper," he says, after taking a sip of his coffee and going back to the news.

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_Well I told my parents, and then I fainted right after. Kenny laughed about it when we headed back upstairs after breakfast to take showers. I suppose it's sorta funny… I don't find it _that_ amusing though._**

**_But you won't believe it! They don't care that I'm gay! Mom said she and Kenny had even talked about it, I guess when I was still asleep and dad said he had already known! He said he knew for ages! How could he have known when I didn't though? In any case I'm glad they're not mad or anything. I wouldn't really not want to speak to them ever again, I love my parents. _**

**_Kenny is in the shower right now, but afterward we're heading to the police station. He didn't sound too thrilled, but I guess I wouldn't be either. In fac_**

When I emerge from the shower, I see Tweek sitting hunched over on his bed writing vigorously in something.

"What're you writing?" I ask.

He jumps in surprise and I see the orange notebook fall off the side of the bed. I bend over to pick it up and as I hand it back to him I see his face is extremely red as he eyes me up and down. I'm only in a towel and I grin, dropping the notebook back on the floor.

"I forgot my clothes out here," I say to him, lifting my chin toward my bag that's on the other side of the room.

"I- I'll get them for you," he says as he moves to get them, but I grab his wrist before he can edge out of the bed.

"You don't have to, I don't really need them right now anyway," I say, as I pin him down, crawling on top of him.

He's shaking like crazy beneath me, and it isn't doing much to calm my hormones down. "Thanks for telling your parents about us Tweeker, means a lot to me." I suddenly say, realizing it did.

He nods as best he can in his situation and I smile, lowering myself to get a kiss. He kisses back firmly and when I break away I push back a few strands of his blonde hair before kissing his shoulder lightly. I then move to his neck, nibbling a little bit on the corner just below his ear. When I hear his breathing hitch I move my mouth back to his lips.

Fuck I love the way he tastes. The way he teases me when he doesn't always allow my tongue entrance drives me fucking crazy sometimes. As I feel his arms break from my hold on them he raises them and tightens his arms around my neck, pulling me tighter against him.

Having free hands I take one and slowly place it under his shirt, snaking my hand up his bare chest. He gasps and almost tries to sneak away but I hush him, breaking the kiss slightly.

"You'll like the way it feels, I promise," I mutter to him before going back to kiss his red swollen lips.

I laugh lightly into the kiss when I hear Tweek moan faintly after I've rubbed my hand up and down his chest; circling one of his nipple's slightly before coming back down to his stomach area. Just as I start to fit my hand under his jeans he jerks away suddenly, pushing me away a little bit.

"What?" I ask lazily. I'm completely aroused now and I probably look a little inebriated.

"Y-you, you put your hand down my pants!" He squeaks out.

"I _tried _to put my hand down your pants," I correct him. "You pulled away, and that wasn't very nice of you," I say about ready to push him back down onto the bed, but he shrieks slightly and I sigh. "What?" I ask again.

"Y-your, your," he stutters and points at my lower region before blushing and looking away. I look down and see that the front of my towel has come undone, leaving my member complete freedom. "A-and it's so big…" He mutters out.

I grin, and bend down to kiss his neck before he pushes me away slightly. "That's because it's happy to see you."

He shuffles under me slightly and it's like a light goes off in his head. "Oh my God, oh Jesus…" he takes his hands, and to my surprise, he starts to re-tie my towel. "Wh-what if my parents walked in! My my d-door isn't locked!"

"Who cares, then they'll know you're in a healthy sexual relationship, besides didn't you tell me you'd learn everything you could about sex for me? I think it's time you had your first lesson," I growl softly and re-descend upon him. I sigh in defeat when my mouth meets bedding as Tweek flees off his bed.

"Y-yeah, but, but not right now! Now while my parents are home!" He stammers to me as he twitches slightly.

I flop down on the bed as I look up at him, "then that means later?" I ask completely serious.

"Ju-just go get changed!" He squeaks at me, tossing my bag at me.

I shrug indifference and pick it up, crossing his path to give him a kiss on the cheek. When I get to the bathroom door, I stop to turn and look at him with a brazen smile. "I'm only being so patient because I love you, but I won't wait forever. I'll rape you if I have to," I say and walk into the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind me.

With the knowledge of having locked the bathroom, I sink to the ground against the door, breathing heavily.

There. I said it. I said I loved him.

_And you said you'd rape him too._

Doesn't matter. I won't really and he knows it, I'll wait forever for him to come around… okay well, maybe a year at the max… make that six months.

_**Hi Journal**_

**_Sorry the entry got cut off, Kenny came in the room and in a towel no less. Which excited me and made me really, really, really nervous. With reason too, because he pinned me down on the bed and I liked it a lot at first but then he tried to put his hand down my jeans, and I just got really embarrassed and had to stop. My parents could have walked in on that! Granted it did sort of feel kinda good and exciting too, but that's beside the point._**

**_But then you know what he said to me? He said he loved me… he said he loved me, _me_ of all people. I can't believe he really does… but then he said he'd rape me. I don't think he meant that though, and instead of feeling any fear from that I actually got excited again! Ugh. I'm blushing right now, it's so embarrassing!_**

_**Okay, I'll write more later.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

I'm getting dressed at a snails pace. I can't help it, it's because I can't stop shaking. I curse in frustration when I nearly fall over trying to put my legs in my jeans. I didn't think saying those three words to Tweek would make me so… I don't know… fucking giddy almost.

I said it, and for the first time in my life I meant it. Jesus Christ I think I'm going to throw up.

After awhile there's a knock on the door, "K-Kenny are you almost done? We should get going."

Oh yeah. I can feel my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. I forgot why we were getting ready in the first place. We're going to the police station.

"Kenny?" He calls out quietly.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a second," I respond.

This time when I come out of the bathroom I'm fully clothed and I see Tweek sitting on the edge of his bed waiting for me. When he sees me he stands and rubs his shoulder slightly.

"Ready?" He asks and I nod numbly.

He's embracing me in a hug before I even see him walk over and I wrap my arms around him, pulling him in closer, burying my face in his hair.

"I definitely love you," I whisper into his hair. He pulls back and smiles at me. "Right then, that's enough of that," I say breaking away from him completely and grabbing my bag. "Let's go."

He nods and I follow him out of the room, and down the stairs. I give the Tweaks' my thanks for letting me spend the night, and when Mrs. Tweak hugs me goodbye, I hug her back and rather fiercely. When we break apart she studies my eyes, and I can see a glint, like she knows something. But she doesn't say anything and merely kisses my head before releasing me with a smile.

"You boys enjoy your day," Mr. Tweak calls out from the kitchen.

Mrs. Tweak looks back and forth at Tweek and me, before waving us out of the house.

As Tweek and I walk silently down the snowy road I start to get second thoughts. Maybe this isn't how I should go about doing this; maybe I shouldn't get Tweek involved. What good would it do if he was? Continuing to think about it as we walk, I start to become aware that the road Cartman lives on is full of cars and people.

"What the fuck is going on?" I mutter to myself quietly, but I see Tweek nod as he looks around. A huge crowd has gathered in front of Cartman's house, and they're loads of TV cameras, even the midget in a bikini is giving a live report to the far side. I instantly gravitate toward the house, pushing through the crowds, not aware if Tweek is following behind me or not.

I catch Kyle's red hair in the crowd and slide beside him, Stan is to his other side.

"Dude, what's going on?" I ask them, looking ahead. Barbrady and the other detectives that had questioned students are standing in front of a podium, talking quietly with Ms. Cartman and among themselves.

Kyle glances at me, "they're giving a statement on that guy who made the revenge list. Everyone on it, except Cartman is in the hospital and that kid Fosse, who was the first on the list, died a few hours ago, and the others don't look so good," he tells me grimly.

"And just the other day, Cartman got another note." Stan adds.

"What'd this one say?" I ask, finally noticing that Tweek is beside me, listening as intently as I am.

"It said: **Just because I skipped you, doesn't mean I've forgotten about you.** But what's really freaking people out isn't the note; so much as it was taped to the front door. And with all the cops around his place constantly guarding him, no one knows how that guy got it on the door without _someone _seeing him."

"Damn that's fucking creepy…" I say, and Kyle, Tweek and Stan nod together. "Where's Cartman?"

Kyle and Stan shrug, "we haven't seen him in days obviously." Kyle tells me and Tweek, "but I doubt he's still in the house anymore, and they're probably not going to tell us where he is if we asked."

I'm about to ask more questions, but one of the detectives has stepped forward instantly grabbing the attention of everyone on the audience. He glances at the large anxious looking crowd and sighs as he grips the sides of the podium.

"I'd say good afternoon, but clearly it is not," he starts out. "We only have time for a small statement. Eric Cartman is being held where he'll be safe and is being heavily guarded as are those in the hospital. As of now there are still no leads or suspects for the incidents and there doesn't seem to be a serious pattern between the targets-"

"How about the fact that they're all assholes!" Someone shouts out from the crowd. I can see heads turning to see who said it, but it isn't clear who did and heads turn back to the detective as a murmur of agreements flutter through the crowd. The detective looks grim.

"We're not here to judge these kids, and these are serious crimes. A kid is dead and the others are seemingly going to follow. We're doing everything we can to find this guy, but until we do, we advise people to never travel alone and to stay indoors as much as possible, even though it seems who ever is doing this is only interested in people from that list. That's all." The detective stepped down as a stream of cameras and questions were fired off.

Tweek, Stan, Kyle and I work our way out of the crowd and back to the sidewalk.

"Jesus Christ, poor Cartman," Stan says shaking his head.

"Yes poor Cartman," Kyle echoes. I study his face as he says this and decide I can't tell if he's serious or not. "Anyway, where were you two headed?" He asks, changing the subject.

My eyes dart off to the side, "nowhere." I look at Tweek who frowns at me. "It isn't a good time Tweek, not with all this going on," I gesture to the wave of people still surrounding the Cartman household.

"Y-You're just, ergh, using that as an excuse!" He accuses me.

"What isn't a good time?" Stan asks, looking between us curiously.

"He's going to tell someone about his dad!" Tweek blurts to them and they both look at me slightly shocked.

"You are!" They both exclaim in unison.

"Not today I'm not; the cops have their hands tied with this revenge list guy."

"God Kenny, you're just going to keep putting it off aren't you?" Stan accuses me and I frown at him about ready to retort when Kyle raises a hand.

"Don't even start you two, this is not the time." Kyle sighs and shakes his head slowly, "Kenny if you're going to do it, just do it."

And so I do. I don't know what I expected the cops to do. Well, actually I do. I figured they'd look at me with loathing and disgust; maybe even tell me I got what I deserved for waiting so long. But it seems, because of the stalker still running rampage they're fired up to convict anyone for anything. I'm only questioned for a little while in the station when I arrive, with Tweek, Kyle and Stan at my side.

The cop questioning me had looked to my friends, to ask if they know about this and before Stan could nod in shame, Kyle, surprisingly pinched his arm and shook his head. Tweek took the same cue and shook his head. The cop sighed as he leaned against his desk for support looking at me.

"Kenny," he started as I raised my eyebrow. How the hell did he know my name? I've never seen him before. "We've had suspicions about your father for years, everyone in this town has. But what could we do if the people being hurt didn't say anything about it? Your father kept up a face and no one actually _saw_ him do anything, so he couldn't be convicted. I'm glad you finally said something. I want you to sit tight here though okay? Your friends can stay around too," he said as he glanced at the three of them before walking off.

I nod dully and sit down on one of the wooden benches that are outside the main office. There is complete silence among the four of us while a buzz is going through the police station. It's still busy from the update on the stalker and now adding in my own issues, made the place fill with a life energy it probably has never seen.

_God, I need a smoke._

It was definitely something I've been lacking the past couple of days. Unfortunately I don't get too far, as I'm about to light my cigarette Kyle snatches it away from me and glares.

"Are you fucking insane? You can't smoke in a police station," he tells me.

"You can't talk to me about breaking rules Kyle," I glare back at him, snatching my cigarette back. "You lied to a cops face remember? You said you didn't know anything about what my dad did to me."

Kyle sighs and watches as I light up and take my first inhale. It feels good to inhale so deeply and I close my eyes as I release the smoke from my mouth.

I barely register as I feel someone, two someone's actually sit down on either side of me on the bench. When I open my eyes I see Stan and Tweek sandwiching me in between them. Kyle's standing in front of me and I can see all their eyes are filled with worry. And for me of all people.

"I'm okay you guys." I say, interrupting the silence.

Kyle rubs the back of his neck and stares off a minute before looking back at me. "I'm sorry I didn't tell that cop we knew Kenny." He says and Stan looks to him.

"Yeah, why didn't we?" He questions the red head. "And by the way, that pinch fucking hurt dude," he adds.

Kyle releases a grunt of apology before saying anything. "I just don't know what that would have meant for us, friends, to have known and not said anything."

"It's fine Kyle, I don't care either way. I wouldn't want you guys to get into any sort of trouble anyway. It's better off that people don't think you guys knew." I say wearily, taking another puff.

"What do you think they'll do to your dad?" Stan asks out loud.

I shrug indifferently, "who knows, and who gives a damn, so long as I don't have to see his ass ever again. Literally and figuratively," I mutter.

I'm not sure how long we all wait on the benches, but when I'm re-approached by a different cop he asks to speak with me alone in his office. Turns out I'm wanted for a more formal police report and this time the questions are more detailed and more embarrassing, but the cop doesn't sound as if he's reprimanding me, he sounds like he really wants to get the facts.

"Alright, thanks Kenny. Here's my card if you have any more questions or think of anything more to add to your statement," he tells me, handing me a card. I glance at the name and number before I hesitate by his door.

"Is… that it?" I ask.

He looks up from his desk where he was finishing his notes, "for now yeah," he gives me a small smile. "You can head home now if you want, we picked up your dad at the bar and he's in police custody now."

"Oh," I nod slightly and put my hand on the doorknob before stopping to turn around. He looks back up again expectantly. "Um," I pause. "What about my mom and brother?"

"Did either of them do anything to you?" He asks suddenly a little more alert.

"No, its not like that, just… do they know my dads been picked up?"

"Not unless your dad's made his one phone call, then no… is something wrong?" He asks.

I shake my head and open the door, "no… but thanks."

"We'll be in touch," he calls after me before I shut his door.

As I weave my way though the police department and back to where the others are I remind myself that maybe I should have told my mom what I wason doing.

_It's not like you planned to do this today. That was all Tweek._

That's true. But I can't help but wonder what her reaction will be like when she gets that phone call. My parents have never had the best marriage, and I think they would have gotten a divorce a long time ago if they could have afforded to get one. But still, what will she think when dad calls her to tell her what he's in jail for?

"All done?" Stan asks as he, Kyle and Tweek stand from where they were sitting.

"Yeah," I say. "For now I guess."

The four of us stand awkwardly together before Kyle speaks up, "I don't suppose you want to go home yet?" He asks and I shake my head. "Want to get something to eat then at City Wok?"

"No, I'm not really hungry-" I start when Stan cuts me off.

"I'll pay," he says with a small smile.

"Alright let's go then," I say with a small smile back.

I look to Tweek and when I see him it occurs to me, that throughout this whole ordeal he's never said a word. He's been shaking and jerking like normal but I have yet to hear him speak since we arrived here. I grab one of his hands with my own, and as I do so I can see Stan and Kyle watching curiously out of the corner of my eye.

"Do you want to come?" I ask him.

He shakes his head, "n-no, erghm um, no you g-go ahead with Stan and K-Kyle. I- I think I'll, uhn, just go home."

"Are you sure?" I say looking him over carefully. "We could go do something else if you wanted?"

"No, no, go h-hang out with them."

"Well, okay… can I come by later on tonight?"

"S-S-Sure," he stammers out and pulls his hand out of mine, turning to head out of the station another way.

"Hey," I grab his hand and pull him back to me. He looks at me curiously waiting for me to talk, but instead I drag him closer to give him a small kiss on the lips. I frown a little when I open my eyes and back away. He was completely unresponsive.

I watch him rush a shaky hand through his knots of hair, "k-kay, bye," he says and walks off, leaving me staring at his back. When I see that he's left the building I look back to Stan and Kyle who are still watching me intently.

"He's acting funny," I say to them quietly.

"Yeah… we saw… do you want to go after him or something?" Kyle asks me.

I sigh, and glance back down the hallway he disappeared down, "no. let's just get going."

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_I just got back from the police station where I was with Kenny, Kyle and Stan. They're off eating now, but I decided to come home. It's just… even though Kenny told me what his dad did, I never… I mean, I know its bad, but to hear him give details and stuff to the police made it more real. And all I could do the whole time was listen, I didn't know what to do with myself. I feel like I should have done more, like hold his hand the whole time or something. Even Stan and Kyle managed to give him encouraging pats on the back every so often, but I just stood there!_**

**_Who knows what he thinks of me now, because then after all that silence, when he invites me to go eat with him and the other guys I just take off! It looks like I couldn't stand to be around him or something, and it's not that I couldn't stand it, I just need to think. About how to help him, but I can only think of one thing and I already blew that._**

**_At least he's with Kyle and Stan, they're his best friends, they'll make him feel better, I know they will. Kenny is coming over tonight anyway… not that I'll know what to say, but he might want to talk to me and if not then I'll just be there for him. It's the only thing I imagine I can do._**

_**Your friend, Tweek**_  
**  
End **of chapter **sixteen

* * *

AN: **Sorry about the long wait. Originally this chapter was going to be a super long finale chapter but I'm having some… issues with the last part so I decided to break up the last chapter into two chapters. I know I haven't been reviewing in the SP circuit lately, but all my favorite stories are still in my inbox waiting to be read, and I _will_ get around to them!

_Faery Goddyss :D_


	17. His Guiding Light

_**The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak**_  
XVII. His Guiding Light

We take a corner booth, one far from eavesdroppers and I start to dig into my first entrée of Kung Pao Chicken.

Stan snorts at me, "3 entrées, 3 side dishes, plus an extra large Coke, not hungry my ass."

"I figure if you're paying I might as well take advantage of it," I say taking a long sip of my drink.

Kyle laughs as he bites into an egg roll and Stan and I join in a little later, when the laughter dies they both stare at me.

"Jesus Christ you guys, I'm fine, stop fucking staring at me like I'm a head case," I say annoyed.

"Kenny you are a head case," Stan says drinking his soda.

"Yeah, that's true," Kyle adds thoughtfully and I frown at them.

"Look I'm _okay_, I admit I was a little shaky when I gave my statement and I'm a little apprehensive about what's going to happen when I go home and talk to my mom, and I'm a little worried about Tweek since he's acting weird, but other than that, really I'm totally cool you guys," I say.

Kyle and Stan glimpse at each other before looking back at me.

"Well so long as you're okay," Kyle replies with a lopsided smirk.

"Speaking of Tweek though," Stan starts as he shoves a spoonful of rice in his mouth. "What's up with you two now?"

I mutter something incoherent and Stan grins, "What was that?" He prods.

"I didn't say anything," I speak up. "Take a few guesses alright!"

"Does this mean you've deflowered the poor guy already?" Stan continues to ask and I almost choke on my food as he laughs lightly, "I'll take that as a yes."

"I have not," I tell him indignantly. "He pushed me away before I could." I murmur the last part.

"Good for Tweek," Kyle says.

"Kyle, so help me God, you'd better take that back," I warn him over my Wonton soup.

"No," he says haughtily. "You rush into the sack too fast; you ought to learn to really care about the person you're with before you inevitably bed them."

I falter before answering, "Then I guess I can bed him." I groan slightly and lean back into the booth, "fine I love the guy, I told him, and I want to keep him around. Fucking happy now, can we change the subject?"

"Aw, our Kenny's growing up Kyle, he finally got someone to love," Stan says ignoring what I had just asked.

"It would seem that way, I remember when it was just yesterday that he was screwing half the town," Kyle laughs when I flick some of my soup on him. "Okay, okay, changing the subject."

"Yeah, to you," I say when I see Butters enter the restaurant. He's to Kyle and Stan's back so neither notice him come in.

"Me?" Kyle asks questionably. "Nothings happened with me."

"What about you and Butters?" I ask.

"Oh yeah, what is happening with you and Butters?" Stan asks quietly, his whole demure changing from amusement to serious.

"Nothing," Kyle says firmly, getting aggressively interested in his chow mein.

"Nothing? From the tone of your voice it couldn't possibly be nothing," I continue.

"I wish there was something to tell, but the fact is there's not." He sighs as he pokes his noodles. "He's not interested."

I suddenly feel bad for bringing up Butters, Kyle looks genuinely saddened and a little weary.

"Sorry for mentioning it Kyle," I start and he waves off my apology. "And sorry I didn't tell you he's like 2 feet away and saw us and is heading in this direction."

Kyle freezes and Stan peeks over behind him, "yup he's coming this way alright," he says inaudibly just as Butters stops in front of our table.

Stan and I look at Kyle who's staring at his food, not willing to acknowledge that Butters is looking down at him, before we look back up at the blonde.

"H-Hey fella's," he says it to all of us, but clearly it was meant for Kyle. "Um, Kyle can I talk to you for a sec… in private? Just real quick," he rushes when he sees Kyle's face.

Kyle doesn't say anything but he nods and stands. Stan and I watch as he and Butters walk outside the restaurant and out of view.

"Damn, I was hoping we could at least try and read their lips," I say leaning back into the seat.

Stan nods in agreement and looks at the door they had just gone through before refocusing on me. "What do you think he wants, because I swear if he hurts Kyle anymore than he already has I'll fuck up his face, I fucking swear dude. What's wrong with him anyway, rejecting Kyle? He should feel damn lucky Kyle even likes him. I mean, its Butters for crissake…"

"Jealous much?" I say returning to my food as Stan gives me a look. "I'm kidding, but I know what you mean. Kyle's hot, not like Tweek of course, but he certainly isn't lacking in the looks department. And he's smart and funny and all that other stuff that makes a guy a good catch."

"Yeah," Stan says quietly. Something in his voice causes me to stare at him in wonder.

"Stan?" I ask.

"Hmm?"

"How are you and Wendy?"

"Oh, we broke up."

A little flag goes off in my head, "why?"

"Because we're not right for each other, we never have been."

"Stan?" I ask again, but he doesn't seem to hear me at first. "Stan?" I ask louder and he looks at me.

"What _is_ it?"

"Do you like Kyle?"

His eyebrows furrow, "what kind of question is that, of course I do, he's one of my best friends."

I shake my head, "not what I meant."

"…oh… no. No I don't like Kyle," he says eating a few random pieces of broccoli from my plate.

He's lying, but I'm sure that's another story, one I don't feel the need to read right now.

When Kyle comes back in he's grinning broadly as he sits back down and looks back and forth at Stan and me.

"Well?" I ask smiling, his grin is contagious.

"He wants to give going out a try," he says cheerfully.

"Congrats dude," I tell him, truly happy for him. The whole Butters thing did look like it was crushing him a bit.

"Thanks."

"Did he say why he's willing to try now?" Stan asks casually.

"He said he didn't think I was serious before, but I told him I wasn't Kenny," Kyle answers brightly.

My eye twitches slightly, but I ignore it and let Kyle be happy.

We eat and chat for awhile longer before Stan say's he needs to go and help his dad clean out the garage. Kyle mentions how he has to do something too and before I know it we're back on the streets where they go one way and I go another; the part in South Park that divides the neighborhoods.

"I thanked you guys for coming with me right?"

"You don't need to," Stan replies and Kyle nods.

"We wanted to, and frankly we're just glad you told someone. Who knew it would take Tweeks push for you to follow through though," Kyle adds.

"Yeah, Tweek," I say remembering how he had acted. Kyle picks up on this and gives me a half hug.

"Just talk to him, I'm sure it isn't anything that bad." I nod as we part.

"See you in class tomorrow then," Stan says and we punch knuckles slightly before giving each other a half hug as well. "If you need anything, just call or come over, whatever you want to do okay?"

"Sure, thanks Stan. Bye Kyle, see you guys tomorrow," I say waving as I walk off into my neighborhood.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**It's getting pretty late and Kenny hasn't come over yet… maybe he changed his mind, or maybe he forget… or maybe he's outside right now! I hear rocks being thrown at my window!**_

_**That's him… okay I'm a little nervous, but I'm going to be okay as long as he is.**_

_**Your friend, Tweek**_

When Tweek comes down I feel considerably better as he gives me a tight hug and one of those sloppy fish kisses I love so fucking much.

"S-Sorry about this afternoon, I just-"

"Apology accepted," I interrupt planting him a kiss on the forehead. "I understand Tweek, you didn't know what to say or how to act. Took me three hours of hardcore thinking but that's right isn't it?"

He nods at me surprised and I smile, "I only wanted you to be there for me Tweeker, that was all, and you were, so thank you."

I grab his hand and we start walking in the night time air, "do you mind if we go to the swings? I haven't been in awhile."

"N-no that's fine," he answers with a light smile.

We walk in companionable silence, weaving our way through the woods, making the turns that will eventually lead us to the clearing. Only, when I swear I've made the final turn I see that there's nothing but more tree's ahead. The clearing with the swings is gone. Looking over at Tweek I see he looks equally confused as he peers around at the surrounding area. There's no way I've made a wrong turn, I could find this place half asleep, while drunk, high and blindfolded.

"What the hell…" I mutter to myself and let go of Tweek's hand to walk a few paces away from him, looking behind some of the denser trees, nothing. "Tweek," I ask slowly. He walks beside me and shakes his head knowing what I'm about to ask.

"I-I'm sure you made the r-right turns, even I was getting a hang of how to g-get here."

"Hn, yeah that's what I thought," I shrug giving up and sit on the slight snowy ground against a log. The snow isn't that thick here since it can barely get through the trees to reach the ground. Tweek looks down at me surprised.

"Y-you don't want to keep looking for it? M-maybe we did make a wrong turn."

"No we didn't," I state simply and pull him down beside me. "Oh well."

"Oh well?" He questions me curiously. "M-maybe it's because of the snow," Tweek says to me quietly as he lowers himself beside me.

"It's not the snow, I've found the swings in worse conditions," I tell him kissing the back of his hand.

"Then where do you think it went?" Tweek asks and I shrug not really caring, which he notices. "But, but the-they're your swings, how come you don't care that we can't find them? I- I thought you wanted to swing?"

I take a minute to think about what he asked, it seems pretty simple to me. "I only went to the swings when things at home got too heavy to deal with, to feel alive again, haven't got much use for them now. You make me feel plenty alive and if I've got any problems I'll just let you know, is that alright?"

He nods.

"Besides I wanted to go to them tonight to teach you to swing more, I promised I would didn't I?" Tweek nods again blushing and I smile. "But don't worry; I know somewhere we can still go that I can teach you that people don't go to that much."

"Y-you're sure?" He asks, twitching slightly beside me.

I warp an arm around his waist and force him to lean on my shoulder; I don't think he minds much.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I say to him, resting my head on his, enjoying the feel of my personal massage chair as he shakes like normal.

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_Sorry it's been a week since I last wrote! I last wrote about the day Kenny went to police right? Okay, well it snowed 12 inches that night when went to the woods! It's a good thing Kenny and I decided not to stay through it, we probably would have frozen to death._**

**_All this week we were probably going to go back to the swings and Kenny was going to keep teaching me how to swing. I've almost got the pumping thing down! But anyway, the oddest thing happened… we couldn't find the place, we still can't. This is weird because Kenny knows how to get there backwards and forwards, or at least he says he does and I believe him. He's been going there for over ten years, and even I was starting to get a hang of where it was. And it isn't even that we can't just find the swings, we can't find the entire clearing the swings were in._**

_**And I don't know about you Journal, but I didn't think swings and clearings could up and walk away. I told Kenny that maybe we couldn't find it because of the snow, but he said he'd found it in worse conditions. I started to feel bad for him, but when I asked him about it he shrugged and said, "oh well." Oh, well Journal! I think he saw my surprised reaction because then he grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it.**_

…_**which was really embarrassing by the way.**_

**_And he said the only reason he went to the swings was to swing out all the bad stuff and to feel alive again. Then he said, and I'm not kidding here Journal! Kenny said he didn't even need the swings anymore because being with me kept him alive and if he had anymore bad stuff he'd go to me!_**

**_And even though that was the best thing I've ever heard in my life, I still can't help but wonder about the swings, Kenny seems content to act as if they never existed, but I can't help but wonder… sometimes South Park is really weird._**

_**Oh crap! I have to get going, Kenny and I are having a double date with Kyle and Butters! Kyle and Butters, by the way Journal! I'll have to fill you in on that later, I didn't even know Kyle liked guys. Anyway, I'm late, and Kenny always gets so irritated when I'm late. So I'll write later!**_

_**Your good friend, Tweek

* * *

**_**AN: **And there's your last chapter, a short epi will follow _very _soon. I already wrote it! Le sigh, loved this story.

I got questions through PM's and quite a few were in regards with the Kyle/Butters. I don't really believe in it I just needed someone to be Kyle's love interest and since Stan's straight (or is he? heh.) I just randomly chose someone and Butters was my chosen one.

Truly yours,  
_Faery Goddyss :D_


	18. Epilogue: Chocolate Cake

**Epilogue: CC **

Eric Cartman waddled into his house, slamming the door shut as he muttered to himself. He had just returned from hiding, and he was finally allowed to have some peace and quiet. Of course the cops would be outside his house for awhile longer, but at least he didn't have to be in the even smaller hickier town he had been the past few weeks.

The notes from the stalker had completely stopped long ago, and the few survivors from his attacks had just been released from the hospital. Regardless, there was something permanently wrong with each one of them. Not that he cared; he didn't like any of them anyway.

Hearing his stomach growl he walked himself into his kitchen, at once seeing a note held with a black cross magnet on his fridge. He read the short note from his mom.

_Welcome home Poopseekins!_

_I'm so sorry I couldn't be home for your welcome! But duty calls sugarnut! I baked a nice big chocolate cake as a welcome home gift! Be sure to call your little friends and invite them over to share! I'll be home later tonight to fix your favorite dinner!_

_Love, Mummy :)_

Eric snorted to himself after reading the second to last line, 'no way am I inviting those fags over to share my cake.' He told himself as he opened the refrigerator.

He happily cut himself half the cake before taking it and a huge glass of milk, plopping himself in front of the television. Cartman cried with laughter as he watched the cartoon characters antics on the TV while he continued to consume his large portion of double layer chocolate chip marble brownie fudge cake. As soon as he was done he let out a low belch and rubbed his stomach, yawning shortly.

Deciding a nap would be his next best move, he left the television set on and left his dishes lying on the table tray. Making his way upstairs to his bed room, he stopped at the bathroom for a quick relief before continuing. Not bothering to change his clothes, he merely kicked off his shoes and dropped down on his bed falling asleep almost instantly.

Cartman thrashed and twisted in his sleep, his nightmares were of the masked stalker, notes, and oddly enough toilet stalls. Forcing himself awake, the last of his dream he remembered before waking was of a dark haired boy, around his age in his bedroom. He was clothed head to toe in black, and had jet black hair and a dark cold scowl upon his face. The dark features made his pale white skin glow in an unnatural manner. What made the boy eerier were his piercing ice blue eyes as they stared at him over his bed. It was those eyes that startled Cartman into jerking awake.

His breathing was heavy and he was sweating profusely. He fell out of bed, slightly disoriented as he headed for his bathroom. Turning on the faucet he splashed the cool water on his face while taking a few heavy gulps. Having calmed down a little he dried himself off and decided to try and get a few more hours of sleeping in before his mom came home from work.

Walking out of his bathroom he stopped in his tracks. On his bed, his pillow specifically, sat a little folded note card. He looked around at his medium sized bedroom as his heart began slamming against his chest. His door was firmly shut as was his window, which was locked tightly. He could clearly see under his bed and he nearly wet himself as he made himself open his closet door. There was nothing and, more importantly, no one inside the closet but his clothes, shoes and miscellaneous junk.

Looking back to the note card he slowly approached his bed. Stopping half way to glance around his room again, even looking up. He gingerly picked up the little note and read its contents.

**Ah, my seventh greatest sin, perhaps lucky seventh is more appropriate. It took you awhile to pick up this card, a bit on the nervous side are we? Well, Dad isn't too thrilled of my personal vendetta and has put a stop to my fun. Lucky, _lucky_ you. He may be watching my every move, but keep in mind fat boy I'm watching yours. He can't keep an eye on me forever and I haven't forgotten how you've treated others. This isn't over. When Satan looks the other way I'll be back, getting my just revenge. What is it you mortals always say? Watch your step? I'll be fucking with you till the day I get to kill you.**

**Truly yours, Damien**

**Oh, and how was the cake? I made it myself.**

End of **_The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak_**

**_

* * *

_AN**: Thanks for reading everyone!

_FG_


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